I'm back...and BETTER Chapter 4

by TazmaniaGirl

Published June 7, 2012

In My Novels and Short Books.

Chapter 4

 

???

Candice lay in her bed, wide awake, and her eyes open. Light poured in through her room, but it wasn't morning. It was street lights, and they were really damaging her eye sight.

She could feel small tears rolling down her skin, and she couldn't be bothered to wipe them away.

They felt...comforting.

In a strange way.

A knock came to her door, and she called them in.

It was... Douglous?

He stood in her doorway, obviastly waiting to be invite in.

" Come in".

He stepped inside, and in a really fast blur, he was at her bedside.

" Don't close the door then" she smiled, and he chuckeled.

With one, flouid movement, the door shut, and he was back to her in an instant.

" Happy?".

She nodded slowly.

" What's on your mind?" he asked, brushing her hair out of her face.

" There was a girl. She was stabbed down the staircase. I ahd a vision earlier, that there was a pool of blood. And there was".

He gave a slight frown, and she wanted to smooth it off his face.

" There's more".

How'd he know, she thought madly, and she opened her mouth.

" Okay, well, a boy touched my hand, you know, Brendon? Yeah, and then... he was where I got the vision".

Douglous didn't look a bit surprised.

" You ahve a power, like I do. Obviastly nott the same power. Your... a witch".

And then he was gone.

Candice looked up, and... she saw nothing but the cracked ceiling above her.

Wow, everything was so confiesing...

She looked back down to the end of her bed, and closed her eyes.

She woke up early, watching the light pour in through the window, and getting up slowly.

Sunday...

One more day to learning.

Great, after all this.

She slipped out of her bed, and decided to sit on the edge of the window. She looked out, and saw most of the town. It did actually look pretty far from her window.

She watched over the town, imagining she was in some kind of Palace.

She decided to go out for breakfats today, and she'd make herself look nice.

Of course, it had nothing to do with the fact that she found Douglous cute.

Which she didn't.

She blocked the thought, and kept it to the back of her head.

She walked over to ther wardrobe, and yanked it open, looking back and forth between her clothes.

What to wear, what to wear...

She picked her short, pufy top, with another small waistcoat, and a pair of shorts.

It looked pretty hot today.

She also picked her sneakers, beacuse she truely couldn't live without them.

She picked up some cash on the way out, and locked her door. She traveled across town, until she found a small coffee shop on the corner of one of the streets.

It wasn't only a coffee shop, it was also a Bakery.

Hmm, Suasage rolles...

She couldn't make up her mind.

So she went with a crossont.

And of course, a Mocha.

She passed over her change, and found a seat rght by the window.

She tucked in, finsihing her crossont a few minutes later, and swallowing her Mocha slowly, savouring the sweet taste. She tooka quick glance outside and saw Brendon walk by. He walked into the coffee shop, watching the bell above his head, and then he notcied Candice.

" Hey" he smiled, sliding into the seat oppisite her.

" Hey" she replied, taking another sip of her Mocha.

He watched her all the while, making jokes, and telling her he was going to order somehting.

She finished her Mocha quick, and popped it into the bin behind her.

He came back, holding a cup of coffee, and a dougnut.

" In the morning?" she asked, pretending to be discusted.

H laughed and looked down at it hungirly.

" No time for being healthy" he replied, and shoved the whole thing into his mouth.

Brendon and Candice took a walk around Grenton, Brendon showing her the shops she should visit, and the places she shouldn't go to by herself.

" And that's it for the Brendon tours" he finished, and Candice let out a girly giggle.

" Thanks, Brendon" she smiled, and he pulled her into a hug.

" You feel like a brother to me" she mumbled into his jacket.

" You feel like a sister to me" he replied, and she pulled away slowly.

" Thanks".

He led her back to where Douglas had found them, and he sat down.

" It's quiet around here" Candice spoke, " Not complaining about it though".

Brendon laughed, sweetly, but he hid something behind it.

He was worried about something, or he knew something Candice didn't.

She didn't want to bring it up, but she knew if she didn't, she'd regret it.

" Brendon, something's on your mind" Candice said confidently, and he looked up at her.

" How'd you know?".

Actually, how did she know?

Was this because of what Douglas had said about her being a Witch?

" I don't actually know" she replied, and he gave her a cold look.

" Has someone been telling you about my private business?".

Wow, he snapped fast.

" Brendon, I don't know anyone but you and Douglas" she replied.

But she knew Andrea..

" And Andrea".

He stood up.

" What ever. See ya".

He left in what Candice assumed was a strop.

" Douglas?" she whispered, quietly.

He wouldn't hear that, she knew.

But she didn't want Brendon to hear until he was gone.

As soon as she knew Brendon was out of sight, she called his name louder.

" Douglas?!" she yelled, and in a (frightening) flash, Douglas was by her side.

" Yes?".

Candice practically jumped.

" Sorry" he laughed, and sat down beside her.

The sun was high in the sky now, but Douglas wasn't burning up, or... anything.

" Two things."

He nodded slowly.

" Brendon's hiding something. Ooh, actually, maybe three things. Okay, so that's one, why aren't you burning, and three..."

She trailed off, as she saw a figure walk towards them.

Was that Brendon...

No, it was a girl...

" Oi! You little..."

Andrea!

She paused, mid-sentance, watching Douglas with beady eyes.

" You..."

Candice stood up.

" What's going on?"

" That little blood stealer killed my brother! He's gonna pay..."

Candice could see the rage boiling up inside Andrea, and just as Andrea was about to lash out, Candice stood in front of her.

" No fighting. I don't care if he killed your brother, you's kill me if you had the chance. And you".

Candice spun round to face Douglas.

" You, are not to lash out either. Now, Andrea..."

She spun back round to face her, and Andrea had changed her postilion completely.

She was sitting down on her phone, not even looking up.

" ANDREA!" Candice snapped.

Andrea looked up at that, but there wasn't much expression in her face, so, she didn't really care.

" What?".

" Why did you come here?".

" My other brother says you've been... what's the word, like...".

She couldn't finish her sentence until she'd figured out what she was going to say.

She was also clicking her fingers.

" Uh... got it! He said your hiding things from him, like, you know something about him or something".

Wow, she needed to work on her grammar.

" But that was Brendon..."

Andrea gave Candice a look, as if she were saying :

I thought you were smart? Surely you knew?

It was weird.

Candice rolled her eyes, and watched Douglas for a second.

" Did you really kill her brother?" she asked quietly.

" If your trying to NOT include me in this conversation, I can still hear you".

Candice ignored her, still expecting an answer from Douglas.

Douglous slowly nodded.

It was if he didn't want to admit it, but he had to bravery to do so, and that pleased Candice just a little.

" What happened?" she asked in a whisper.

He looked away from her then. He didn't want to tell her, she realized.

She looked back at Andrea, who was now standing up, one hand on her hip, and the other still holding her phone.

" You guys..."

" Shut up, Pyne! Mind your own business for once!" Andrea snapped.

When she turned back to Douglas, he was gone.

She sat down, and started to fiddle with the sand on the ground.

What was the point of going back to the dorms, if no-one there would talk to her?

She noticed Andrea still standing there, looking down at her.

" What?" Candice asked.

" Nothing".

Candice looked back at the sand, and watched it fall through her fingers.

" Are you gonna play with dust, or go after the Fanger?" she asked.

Candice stood up, and brushed herself down.

" It's gonna take me more then a day to get there.

Andrea rolled her eyes, picked up some sand, and flicked it in Candice's eyes.

" Are you really that dumb? Get an effing car!".

Candice rolled her eyes.

" Are you really that dumb?" she mimicked.

" I didn't come in a car, I flew here from Canada, dumbo. You should know that".

Andrea blushed slightly red, and Candice felt proud of herself.

" What ever. Guess I'll let you use mine".

Did Andrea just 'lend' Candice her car?

That was more then strange.

" Don't stand there looking dumb-struck! Your doing me a favor, for embarrassing me in front of the whole Campus!".

" Okay, okay. Where is it?"

" Where do you think?" she hissed, and pointed over to the car park.

Candice surrendered.

Andrea passed her the keys.

" Off you go, then".

" Aren't you coming?" Candice asked nervously. She'd done many things herself, but, going into a town full of angry Vampires, wasn't something she could do herself.

" No, dummy. I'm not going there. Their already peed at me for annoying ,Doug" she replied, and looked at the ground, shifting her feet.

" Uh, fine. I guess I'll go alone. But you owe me to, Andrea".

Candice stalked off, trying to find the car that matched the keys. Or the Keys that matched the car. Or whatever.

Andrea walked on by, not even saying " Goodbye!" or "Good luck".

But she wouldn't, she was Andrea.

When Candice had finally found the car, a pink convertible (uh), she reversed, and set off down the long road, preferably something like the Route 66.

It took her a long while, before she entered the town, Vampire's giving her odd stares. She parked in a small car park, something that looked the one on the other side of town.

Candice had never been so scared in her life, all these Vampires eyeing her up and down.

She walked quickly (power walk) all the way to the City Hall, where Brendon had been kept the day before, and into the Main Entrance.

A lady, she didn't look at all friendly, but, when had Vampires (apart from Douglas) been friendly?

She looked down at Candice, and bared her fangs, her eyes turning deadly purple.

Candice felt a shiver crawl down her spine, and she wanted to get the hell out of there.

But she needed Douglas, and she needed Andrea to leave her alone, or at the least, Thank her, so she knew she must stay.

" I-I-I know your...".

The lady his her fangs again, and gave Candice a ,what looked like, a Cold smile.

It didn't look at all friendly, more fake then anything.

" May I help you?".

Candice nodded slowly, then continued.

" I'm looking... f-for Douglous..?".

The lady smiled again, but it looked kinder then the last.

" Ah, Douglas lives right at the other end of town. You are a friend of his, I hear? Well, good for you. He is great" she replied, and passed over two pieces of paper for Candice.

One with the address of Douglas, and the other... a pass?

Written on it was :

Under any circumstances,

this Human may not be taken a bite of, or eaten.

They are to be left alone.

Signed City Hall Desker - Miss Thorns.

Candice understood what it was, and left shortly after.

As she'd suspected, a whole bunch of Vampires had come up to her, in hope of a snack, but the paper proved them wrong.

Candice crossed through the town, watching her back, making sure she held the paper with a tight grip. If she lost that paper, she was...

She didn't even want to think of the consequence.

She looked at every house she passed, looking for the correct address.

It was if she expected the house to pop up in front of her. The last house on the street was Douglas', she noticed, and walked up to the front door, beginning to feel a little nervous.

She'd traveled all this way, there was no way in hell she was giving up now.

She held out her hand, watching it shake.

She reached for the Knocker, and knocked it.

She almost regretted her actions, but, when she heard the clanking of metal, and the creek of the door opening, Candice suddenly felt proud of herself for knocking.

Douglas stood taller than ever, his brown hair almost covering the both eyes, but you could make-out a slit , where you could see the glint of his pale blue eyes.

They were beautiful up close, they really were.

He leant on the door frame,looking down at her, and she swore she saw his eye's suddenly shine, but only for a second.

" You make a mistake" he spoke, his voice suddenly low, and husky.

It sounded...better.

" No, I don't think I did" she shot back, not intending it to sound so rude.

He laughed coldly, like when she'd first met him.

He was so rude, so full of nothingness.

He didn't look like the Douglas she'd known an hour ago.

Or the day before.

He was that selfish Douglas.

The Vampire Douglas.

And it really did show.

" Douglas, please. Come back with me. We all need to speak. You, me, Andrea and Brendon. We need to sort this...".

She was going to say issue, but it didn't seem like the right word.

Neither did problem.

They all seemed to... big.

" This...what?".

" I'm not sure!" she snapped, and apologized immediately.

" Just...please?" she almost begged, but that wouldn't sound good.

He looked like he was considering it.

" I'll make a deal with you. How about, we all meet tonight at 8:00pm, in the small coffee shop/Bakery?".

Candice was about to accept, when she'd remembered what the lady at the desk had said.

Don't go out at dark.

The words rolled around in her head, like a massive football full of rocks and sharp stones.

" No".

It was a short sentence, well it wasn't really a sentence, but it made her sound more serious.

He frowned slightly, and glared at her.

" And, why not?".

He could switch off everything, the selfish git.

He just sounded really stupid now.

" Because it's bad to go out at night".

He suddenly smiled, that nice, warm smile, the one that made her melt inside.

" Your a smart girl, aren't you?".

She shrugged.

That was the second time someone had called her smart.

Maybe it was true.

"Fine, I'll come back with you".

And that was that.

Comments & reviews · 3
User avatar
anna91423
Review
anna91423 wrote a review Review · Jun 10, 2012

Hey, so sorry I have only just got around to reviewing this! I did read and like this, but have been so busy revising for my GCSE exams that I just didn't have the time to write a proper review. But here goes:

For starters, I really enjoyed this. As always seems to be the case, your writing has really improved since I last read your work. I love that you're being more creative with vocabulary (although it would really benefit you to use a dictioanry to check the spelling of some of those words!). I was pleased to see you're paragraphing more, although I still think thats an area you could improve. The more varied sentences really makes your writing more sophisticated and the voice of Candice remained strong throughout.

There are a couple minor problems and things that bothered me. For example she's referred to both Brendon and Douglas as being like brothers to her in this chapter and the one before. Thats fine, as long as they don't get it on later in the book! If she's going to become romantically involved with one of them then you don't want to give the impression of a brother-sister bond.The other main issue is your spelling. I know you're still learning stuff like that but if you're not sure how to spell a word you should look it up in a dictionary because, as a reader, I stumbled over the mispelt words and it ruined the 'flow' a little. Finally you're still mixing up "your" and "you're", for instance "your a smart girl aren't you?" should read "you're a smart girl aren't you". When you go to put "your" in a sentence, in your head see if "you are" would make sense in that context, if it would you need "you're" if not you need "your".

Don't stress too much about the mistakes I'm pointing out, I'm just nit-picking now! Congratulations on another amazing chapter, I hope to read more about Candice's adventures soon. XD

In case you were wondering, I haven't put up another chapter of 'Perspective' in the last few days becase, like I said, I've got so many exams at the moment. I will try to find the time for personal writing soon, but in the meantime I definitely hope to keep reading and reviewing your story, so keep it up.

I actually take that back- I got inspired and have now both written and posted the next chapter! Needed a break from History revision... :P

User avatar
TazmaniaGirl
Comment
TazmaniaGirl commented Comment · Jun 7, 2012

Please comment!
If your still here, and sorry if it's long!



I lingered round them, under that benign sky: watched the moths fluttering among the heath and harebells, listened to the soft wind breathing through the grass, and wondered how any one could ever imagine unquiet slumbers for the sleepers in that quiet earth.
— Emily Bronte, Wuthering Heights