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Chapter 3
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Candice lay in her bed, shivering. All though it was over 30* degrees outside.
Vampires...
Brendon...
Andrea...
Parents...
Candice shot up. She could call her parents!
She fiddled in her bag, and found her phone, and her iPod.
Her fingers shook as she tried to call her parents.
" Mom?"
" Hi Honey, how are you, is everything OK?"
" No, mom, I wanna come home! Please, pick me up!".
" Honey, we can't. We'll have to book another flight..."
" Mom, you drove here. Why would you...MOM!"
"Were sorry honey, we really needed a break. We can't pick you up until next Thursday".
Her parents were a let down.
" Not only do you lie to me, you don't want to pick me up...from HELL?".
The phone went funny.
" Mom?".
Her mother had hung up.
She chucked her phone across the room, and dove under her duvet.
She cried into her soft pillow, rubbing her eyes across the curly pattern in front of her.
Her mascara smudged the pillow, but that was the least thing on her mind.
What had those jerks done to Brendon?
Where had they taken him?
Were they mad at him for spilling the secret?
The thought frightened her a little, and she really didn't want anything bad to happen to him.
She hoped on her own life that he was okay, and if he wasn't, she'd blame herself.
Why didn't she have to nosey her way into people's business?
She was pretty peed at herself.
Maybe I'll do something about it, she thought confidently, and she pushed her duvet back.
If she was going to do something, she was going to do it now. The day wasn't getting any younger.
Although she wished it would.
She climbed out her bed, and rushed across the room.
She tried to memorize where Brendon had taken her.
It wasn't far, was it?
She hurried down the stairs, all of them, and through the main entrance.
The stern lady was sitting at the desk, smoking a ciggie. She emptied it into the ash tray, and glanced over at Candice.
" Where are you going?".
Candice wasn't as nervous around her any more.
" To rescue my friend" she replied in a rush, and the lady didn't need any more info.
" Your new" she continued, flipping a page in her magazine. " They'll go for you, not him".
Candice shrugged.
" I made a friend. He's the only thing I have left, at the moment.
The lady concentrated on her magazine, and made a slight gesture with her hand.
" Be off with you now, girl. Save him, before it gets dark".
Candice didn't need any more persuading.
She left quickly, suddenly turning her power walk, into a fast jog, and finally, into a sprint.
She recognized Brendon's car, parked in the side carpark, and looked around. The rest of the route was desert, only a thin road ahead. It looked like it dragged on for miles, and Candice was not walking along that.
Maybe it doesn't, something in her head spoke out, but she ignored it.
A Vampire had speed, right? So a Vampire could run for miles without getting tired.
No wonder they chose this place, she though dully, and looked on ahead.
Plans rolled around in her head, ways to summon a Vampire, without getting hurt in the process.
But she couldn't think of anything, and that left her blank.
" Vampire?" she called, rather loud.
No-one came.
She was still alone.
It was getting darker by the minute, and she was getting pretty tired.
" Oi, you selfish tarts, get your bad-buts here now!" she screeched.
That summoned someone.
" You do NOT make fun of us, Bunny".
That was a weird thing to say.
Candice spun round to face a pale looking man, with fangs resting on his bottom lips.
" You just called me a bunny. Your a hypocrite".
He slapped her hard round the face.
" Do not get smart with me. I am the smarter one here, and you know it" he snapped.
Candice stood there, her mouth wide open.
" Did you just effing slap me?".
The Vampire cocked his head slightly, giving her a 'what does that mean' look.
" I thought you were smarter then me".
This time, he didn't re-act at all.
He grabbed her by the arm instead, and brought his face right up close to his.
She could feel his breath on her warm face, giving her shivers all over.
" What do you want, bunny?".
Bunny?
Was he mad?
She didn't really need to answer that.
" I want my friend back".
It sounded a little strange to him, counting on his expression, but he replied to her all the same.
" Well, want you want, you don't get. What you wish for, well, that's a whole different story..."
Candice was pretty shocked.
Did he think he was really that smart?
No, she was only kidding.
He seemed strange, but, she was quite attracted to him, in a way she couldn't quite describe.
He actually had a really cute face, brown hair, ruffled, and swept over one eye, and blue eyes, almost silver, but also very attractive. His skin practically glowed ; a deathly white.
He suddenly smiled.
" You see it now. Good. Come".
What was he talking about?
He held her arm much looser, and they zoomed across the desert, into a small, village.
No-one looked friendly.
The Vampire led her into a small building, well, it was small from far away.
As they nearened, the building was massive, properly a City Hall, or something similar.
" Ah. Home".
He said it most calmly, as if he were by himself, and not a (confused) human by his side.
Candice looked around, she was actually pretty surprised.
This town was pretty modern, but it had a classic touch, like a cowboy classic touch.
She suddenly noticed The Vampire gazing at her, and she blushed red.
" Sorry" he apologized, and looked back at the large building.
He held out his hand.
" I know I'm a Vampire, but I'm not like the others. Stay close".
Candice accepted his hand, and he led her up the marble steps, into the large building.
Candice noticed many heads turn to face her, and she almost died of nervousness, and embarrassment.
She was shore they'd snack on her later.
But The Vampire was as calm as ever.
He didn't even bother to raise his eyebrows when a lady at the desk hissed at him.
He just...ignored her.
It was if he completely blocked everything out, apart from Candice, of course.
He tightened her grip when he neared what looked like an actual prison.
For Humans.
He led her down large steps, but this time, they weren't marble.
They were pure stone, and Candice could imagine a bad image of someone really hurting themselves, on these steps.
When they stood in front of Brendon's cell, Brendon opened his eyes.
For a panicking second, Candice had thought he was dead.
Obviously not.
She crouched down, looking through the bars, and holding out her hand to Brendon.
" How you holding up?" she asked, and he gave her a weak smile.
" Good. It was real brave of you to come back. I expected mister Fang to have bitten your head off by now".
It was a weak joke, almost as weak as his grin, but Candice cracked a smile anyway.
" That's okay".
Candice stood up, and turned back to The Vampire, and he looked towards the ground, as if hiding something.
" Can you let him go?" she asked hopefully, and most defiantly, confidently.
He shrugged, and walked back out of the room.
" Hey!" she called after him, and told Brendon she'd be back.
" Where are you going?" she asked, as she caught up to him.
" It's not up to me to let him out. It's up to..."
His voice trailed off, and Candice knew that this wasn't going to end well.
" Can I do anything to help?" she pleaded, and The Vampire bit his lip.
" I'm really not sure".
Candice reached out, and held his shoulder.
" I'm alone here. He's my only friend. I have no-one else" she spoke quietly, facing away from him, but keeping a tight grip on his shoulder.
" Please".
She had to blink furiously, keeping the tears back from rolling down her pale cheeks.
He looked deep into her eyes at that moment, and, some how, she felt something.
As if he were trying to give her some kind of message.
She looked up to him, at that point, and he smiled.
"I'll see what I can do" he replied, and he ran off in a blur.
Candice watched after him, but he'd seriously left in a rush.
She ran back down the steps, and kneeled back down by Brendon's cell.
" It'll be okay, Brendon" she whispered, and she saw him smile slowly.
" I'm glad" he spoke in a whisper, and he shut his eyes carefully.
Candice suddenly woke up. She was lying on the floor by Brendon's prison cell, and her head felt so cold. She jerked her head, and felt it click.
She felt sore all over, and barely attempted to move.
The Vampire was standing over her, looking at her sweetly, and her heart melted.
He wasn't a bad guy, really.
He held out a pale hand for her, and she got up cautiously, her sneakers feeling tight around her feet.
" Thanks" she replied, and stretched her arms high above her head.
" Okay, so, I spoke to the Council, and the only way they'll release him is if..."
Brendon looked at him strangely, as if he knew what he were going to say.
He suddenly groaned, and decided he'd ht his head against the stone wall.
Candice looked back and forth between them, waiting for one of them to come out with what ever they were going to say.
" Just tell me. I've had a lot done in my time, I think I ca face it".
Then she paused.
" If it's money, I'm sorry, but Brendon, you'll have to stay put for a few months".
Brendon gave a small laugh, and even The Vampire let out a chuckle.
" No, it's not money" he replied, changing his expression to a serious one.
" It's...blood".
Candice gave him a funny look, and he looked down to the ground.
" You see, were Vampire's, and, instead of money to release someone, we use...blood. A pint each" he continued, and Candice glared at Brendon.
" You SOOO owe me" she moaned, and let the Vampire drag her off.
An hour later, both Candice and Brendon had a pint of blood removed from their bodies, and the Vampire had taken them back to the car park.
" I keep forgetting to ask, but, what's your name?" Candice asked, facing The Vampire.
" Ah, well... it's a little tricky to pronounce, but it's Douglas".
Candice smiled.
" Sweet".
She could tell Brendon was thinking the same, and she reached out, and gave Brendon a hug.
" Oh, Brendon, you still owe me".
He laughed, and kissed the top of her head.
" You remind me, okay".
She felt safe in his arms, he felt like a brother to her.
She released herself from his grasp, and gave Douglas a hug too.
" You've been a great help, even for a Vampire".
He didn't re-act, but she could feel him laugh.
He let go of her first, and took a step back.
" You know where I am, if you want me" he spoke, and he was gone in a flash.
Well, a blur.
" I like him" they said in unison, and they both laughed.
Brendon led Candice back to The Campus, or, as she'd decided to call it, CC ( short for Campus Collage) , and Brendon took her back to her room.
It was Dark when they arrived, and Candice had remembered the warning the lady had given her.
Don't go out at Dark.
" I hope you'll be okay by yourself" Brendon wished oout loud, and leant against her door frame.
" I think I will. Unless some rabid Vampires come chasing me in the night..."
Brendon was no longer looking at her, but her phone on the floor.
" Oh, that".
" Do you want my number? So we can contact each other when either of us are in trouble, or, want a friendly chat, or something?".
She was in no choice to pass this down.
" Sure".
He pulled his phone out his back pocket, and began reading out numbers.
Candice was struggling to catch up, but she thought she had all the numbers.
She recited them out to him, and he nodded at every one.
" Good".
He took a step out of her room, and she wished him a goodnight.
He walked off to his own room, and she shut the door behind him.
Candice suddenly craved a shower.
She stepped into the warm water, washing her hair also, and finally, she stepped out, her body letting off steam.
She wrapped a towel around her body and hair, and noticed a small TV in her room.
Had that been there before?
She shrugged to herself, and found the remote beside it.
She sat down and watched some chat show for a while.
It was pretty awesome being in America, finally.
She'd only come here once, and that was to visit this University.
She lived in Canada before, but now she lived in Bloomingdale, a large city, well ish.
And inside Bloomingdale was, of course, Grenton.
She suddenly heard a loud scream, coming from the staircase. She opened her door, to find a girl, standing halfway down the stairs, clutching her stomach.
" What's wrong?" Candice called.
" I've been..s-stabbed" she cried, and Candice dropped her remote.
She rushed down the stairs, no really caring about her towels at the moment, and helped the girl up the stairs, and onto the landing.
" Lay down slowly, okay? Now, apply pressure to you stomach, and let me call my friend, and an ambulance".
This was so strange.
Why would an innocent girl get stabbed in a SCHOOL?
Candice dialed Brendon, stomping her foot, and waiting for him to pick up.
" BRENDON! Get here, now!".
She hung up immediately, and called the police, and ambulance instead.
Brendon arrived shortly, and kneeled beside the girl, giving her fast instructions.
Candice was speaking to an Ambulance member, and they'd gained a rather large crowd of students.
" Is there a lift?" the lady was asking Candice, and Candice nodded.
" The lift's down the hall. It leads down into the Science department, but it's not far from the Main Entrance".
The lady nodded, sending one of the men over to the girl, and Brendon.
Candice looked over, and as she did, she nearly screamed.
There was a Pool of blood beside the girl.
The same image Candice had seen when she'd touched Brendon.
An Brendon was kneeling right beside it.
End of chapter
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Hello again

Yet another great installment, well done. However, there were a lot of mistakes again so you really need to proof read. For instance when you are abbreviating "you are" you should write "you're" and not "your". Apostrophes are really inportant, so you should learn to use them. Also "all though" should be "although". There were a few other problems like this, but I'm sure you can spot them.
Another big problem for me was the amount of simple sentences.They're great for building tension or stating fact, but more variety is needed. I'd love to see more complex sentences in you writing. You should also paragraph; remeber to indent or leave an extra line every time you start a new train of thought.
The stroy line itself is coming along well, but you need to clarify a few things. It doesn't make sense that she at the campus with no explanation of how she got there after chapter 2. It also doesn't make sense that she has so easily accepted the existence of vampires, or that she compares the vampire she meets with others even though she doesn't really know any. Also, she shoud phone 911 before she phones Brendon.
Sorry if that seems like a lot of negatives, but I think this story has the potential to be something amazing and you're such a talented writer, you just need to iron out a few technicalities! Candice has such a strong voice as the narrator which is great because readers can relate to her. I can't wait to find out more about the other characters. Don't be disheartened because you've got great ideas and your writing improves ten fold with every chapter.
This is the only story I'm following on here, so keep writing because I'm addicted now!
Thank You! I will try, but I'm only 12, and I'm only starting to realise what I need to add, or take away from my story.
Is till have many years of Secondary, and I'm starting year 8 in a few days. I hope by the end of school, I'll ahve enough KNOWLODGE to write a great peice, like Rachel Caine.
Please feel free to comment, or review!
(Please don't be harsh if your reviewing, I'm only 12, and I still learning English/grammer and spelling at my school)!
Thank You xx
~ TazmaniaGirl.