The Little Red Hen. (Poem, with a twist. On the rocks.)

Heehee!
That was a bit of a twist!
One thing I'd tell you to watch is your rhythm. I think it would work so much better if it had a nice, even rhythm.
I think I would change it to:

All alone, I found a grain,
It sat upon a country lane.
I grew the grain and had much wheat.
I made some bread for me to eat. (the line you had here before worked rhythm-wise, but I think this way makes more sense phrase-wise.

I ground the grain into a flour.
I made the dough, baked for an hour. (half an hour is too short anyway, especially if you're gonna burn it. and the rhythm works better this way.)

and the last two lines are good.
Other than the rhythm, everything else was spot-on!
Great work, keep writing!
~fortis

Love the twist! It's funny how I was actually thinking of the Little Red Hen story just the other day.

I love this! It's so cute/funny/amazing/awesome!
First off, I'm impressed with your rhyming. Usually that's one thing that I really struggle with. So I really love it when I see people who have rhymed as well as you just did.
Second of all, I used to really love The Little Red Hen. It reminded me a lot of myself. And the funny thing is that this still reminds me of myself, even with the changes. (I kinda freak out anytime someone asks me to cook something)
The only constructive comment I have is that "till I had much wheat" sounds a bit off. I dunno exactly why. I guess because how often do you think someone's going to say "much wheat" unless they're using some sort of slang? It just sounds a little out of place.
It had a beautiful ending, really. I love your change. It was really amazing.

I'm sorry I don't have much anything useful to say. Mostly just praise. But it really is an amazing poem. Great job!

~WW

Hey, TakeThatYouFiend, Strange here and I have a quick review for you.
I genuinely liked this. It had heart, but the end left me muddled in my tracks. I was confused near the end, and I think I need to reread it in the future. Anywho, on to why I liked it.
It was short and subtle. Nothing too lighthearted, nothing too much out there. It wasn't long, so that's good.
The ending left me somewhat confused. I guess, you were all alone, but how did you make the bread? I know that sounds dimwitted. You did do good, although.
Overall, good job
Strange gives you...
8.7/10
Good job
Keep writing
Stay groovy, my amigo.

Ploop..

Hello TakeThatYouFiend,

Happy YWS Olympics and Belated Valentine's Day! This is Magenta here to write a quick something for you. I see that you've recently submitted a humorous poem, The Little Red Hen. How cute a title! I really liked the poem. I must say that you did pretty well with the rhyming and lines. And it even made sense. I find that many writer's make up silly lines that have nothing to do with their entire poem. The only picky (and I mean, really picky) thing I have to say is questionable in this poem (because it is practically perfect) would be to take out the hyphen you have between "no-one" because I don't think it's really necessary. Anyway, I would like to see some more of you humorous poems. You do well with them.