Hello again! I'm gonna have to follow you, so if I forget, simply post on my wall or PM me to remind me! So, I'm back once again to review for you, but this time, I'm going to do it in my usual review day style with a list of pros and cons. So, without further ado, here we go! (GO BLUE!!!)
Cons:
1. People have told me this before, so I think I'm going to point it out. Even though it might be your style, although I'm not sure, the lines are really short and abrupt in this poem. For instance, when you say:
I must.
I know not what.
I can't.
You have three lines in a row with four word max that all end in periods. I haven't read enough of your writing to determine whether this is your style, as it is mine, but I just wanted to point that out.
2. This kinda goes along with number one, but you have a longer line, then a bunch of short lines, and then another long line, etc. For me, this messed up the flow.
Pros:
1. Even though it seemed a bit random, the randomness makes sense, especially when you mentioned the fever at the bottom. Nicely done. That's difficult to do!
2. If there were any, there were few typos! And nearly no spelling errors!
Overall, this was an exceptionally beautiful piece that was intriguing to read and fun to review! As always keep writing and keep smiling! XD See ya around the site! (And the reviews. Always in the reviews)
-Sis
Points: 2762
Reviews: 123
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