A white sheet of paper,
black ink.
Potential!
A poem,
a picture,
a beautiful swirling of black ink on white paper,
rolling,
flowing,
a cascade,
the wonderful colours of black and white;
a cutting contrast twixt the dark and the light.
What art shall be born from the twain?
I shall play the Muse's Frankenstein,
and bring paper and ink to life,
in a deadly game of black and white.
I require a theme,
a meaning,
a flash of inspiration,
it's just the thing
I feel
I need,
to awaken my creation.
The paper is still white,
as snow free from impurity,
as pure as a bride's train,
not a spot,
not a blemish,
not a single black mark.
The awesome potential
of blankness far greater,
than what I create
when I put pen to paper.
-
-
-
-
-Notes:
·I realize I am not writing in complete sentences. This is because and when I wish to convey feeling over meaning.
·The use of the word "awesome" is entirely on purpose and used as in it's older and now practically obsolete meaning, inducing or full of awe.
·The repetition of the words "black" and "white" is a device to emphasize these features. This should also be aided by the text being in black and white.
Please consider these when writing your review.
Like me like me!
TTYF.
Points:
Time spent:
Canary word: Present
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Original Text:
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125,024 Literary Works • 672,762 Reviews
How can I critique this? It's so cute. x)
I actually have no nitpicks. I do think that this poem could be strengthened by combining lines, especially if they are single worded lines, but hey, whatever floats your goat.
The poem is cute, simple, well-written, and overall a pleasure to read. If you meant for it to be light and easy-breezy, then know that it was just that. I love the words you used and the ways you used to described a simple thing as a pen and paper, and turning it into something more.
I'm sorry if this review sucks, but I'm just not good at reviewing poetry when there's nothing to critique. This was a good poem and I enjoyed it very much. I still stand by what I said, about combining lines, as the poem gets a few abrupt breaks and stops and makes the flow bumpy, but overall, it was a steady flow. I liked this a lot! *likes to prove it*
"·I realize I am not writing in complete sentences. This is because and when I wish to convey feeling over meaning."
While this didn't make sense itself, but I understand, and don't worry about it. The way you've formatted and written the poem is actually quite good and it adds to the depth of the poem.
The first time I read this, I wasn't so sure about the use of "black and white" so many times, even after reading your explanation at the bottom. But, after I'd read it again, I can see where it works, if you just get over the repetition and go for the meaning.
"What art shall be born from the twain?
I shall play the Muse's Frankenstein,
and bring paper and ink to life,
in a deadly game of black and white."
This part was well put together and, in my mind, the highlight of the poem. The combination of Muse and Frankenstein is so weird, that it actually works, believe it or not. Something I've never heard, so props for this.
Thank you TakeThatYouFiend!
Thanks!
*claps* Hullo, thy king! This humble little miss is here for a review!
Wow, this is such a contrast to my short story, 'stencilled Whiteness' and the thing is what you have written here is absolutely true and ok, let me get on with my review.
Rhythm and flow in general This poem has a very nice, steady rhythm and it makes it flow really smooth. I love how you phrased it, in short little sentences. In my opinion it just emphasise the meaning and the importance of each sentence. Which adds up to, the beautiful mental paradise you have created of ink and paper, black and white.
There really isn't any fault with this, I actually smiled a few times while going through this so I will point out my favourites.
Seriously, you're a genius. Muse's Frankestein. I would've never thought of that! Awesome word choices!
Oh oh and the ending! The wonderful, truthful and well, somewhat inspirational ending as well. You've tied up this poem in the most effective way possible, summing up the whole poem.
Indeed, not many writers realise[including me] the great potential of what blankness can create, I guess it just shows how we should look at things from different perspectives, eh?
Anyways, well done! I really enjoyed this poem.
-L
[Insanity runs in my DNA]
Thanks!
Hey there, I'm here to review =)
I really like this poem! The flow is really nice.
These have to be my favorite lines. It's just really pretty. I mean, you have plenty of pretty lines, but these are the ones that stand out the most to me! "as snow free from impurity," - impurity like a smudge, right? Anyway, it's really nice.
Thanks for the note at the end! Really cleared things up!
Thanks! Don't forget to like!
TTYF.
Hi there, I thought I should review this since I guess you've been waiting all Review Day to post it. Me too. Anyway, I thought you completely captured completely the feeling I get in the stationary aisle at WHSmith's. It's like it could be anything, far bigger than yourself.
Ironically, I can't figure out what your note says: "This is because and when I wish to convey". Never mind
I loved the word "flash" and the exclamation mark because they conveyed the excitement that writers feel to me and I know that excitement very well.
Basically, I just loved it and I am now going to read it again, just because.
Well done.
Thank you. Don't forget to like!
TTYF.
Thanks. I also love the stationary isle in W H Smith. So much so that now I have a huge folder full of paper. What to draw...
Haha I know what you mean