Every week, in the corner,
The hat man doth dwell,
yelling his face blue
to make his hats sell.
-
Barrow and umbrella
are all that he needs,
at his place in the market;
just under the trees.
-
I know the hat man,
but he doesn't know me.
He's a solid rock,
and people, the sea.
-
In a world of torment,
of death and of fear,
I trust the hat man
because I know he'll be here.
-
Hawking his wares
with a hat on his head,
he was here when I was born,
and he'll be here when I'm dead.
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140,548 Literary Works • 673,419 Reviews
Cool poem here. Nice job!
Hola! Ya estoy de vuelta! (That's means, Hello! I'm back!) I'll leave you to guess what this means: va el azul! Anyway, great poem! I expected it to be a hatred of the hat man kind of poem, but I suppose I was, and am mistaken! Alright, so the list it is!
Cons:
1. In what I presume is the third stanza, you said:
I know the hat man,
but he doesn't know me.
He's a solid rock,
and people, the sea.
The last line seems a bit....random. I've read it several times and still don't understand why it's there. Maybe you could explain that a bit better?
Pros:
1. I don't know if it showed up this way on everyone's computer, but when I pull up this poem the first stanza is spread out over lots of space. If it was intentional, then I really liked it! It's kinda like, ANTICIPATION!! Lol
2. This flowed really nicely. Your rhyming was good, and I saw like, no spelling errors! Great job with that!
So, I just realized that in my last review I forgot the most important part of the review! I didn't say what my favorite part of the poem was! O_O!! How foolish of me! Anyway, in this poem, my favorite part has to be:
Hawking his wares
with a hat on his head,
he was here when I was born,
and he'll be here when I'm dead.
Overall, AMAZING!! Love this poem! Well, I'm off to your next work so keep writing and DON'S STOP! BELIEVING! LOLOLOLOLOL!!
-Sis
Thanks! The rock/sea metaphor is a stationary person in lots of moving shoppers!
The spread outhing must have been a glitch-I can't see it.
Does it mean go blue?
Why yes, yes it does mean go blue. Lol, you are getting to guess what I'm about to say...
I know this man!
Well, maybe not this EXACT same hat man, but I have seen his type. And you capture him really well! There is definitely something about these characters which defines their place and time, and so we end up almost defining ourselves in relation to them. You get that where you say, you 'trust the hat man'.
And the final verse sums up his kind of invulnerability - and yet, we know deep inside that that can't be the case. It's something we want to cling onto though. That belief that SOMETHING will endure like that.
Lovely lovely poem.
Thanks!
Hey, this is an interesting poem! I like the concept of the hat man being a "solid rock, and the people, the sea". This poem gives me a lot to think about, which is great.
I only had a couple issues with the poem itself. First off, I feel as if the first verse could use some tweaking. It's five lines, as compared to all the other verses, which are four lines. Because of this I had to change the way I was reading the poem, which jolts me out of focus. Also, the line, "roaring his face red" didn't really make sense to me at first. Maybe you could change some of the wording to make it more clear?
Also, I feel like you could go into even more detail with this poem. I really want to know more about the hat man and his...hats? Is he selling hats? There must be more to him than that, right? It'd be great if you could expand even more.
Otherwise, this is quite the interesting poem! Thanks so much for writing!
Thanks! I don't want to add detail to the hat man (the character, not the poem) because
A) I don't want to make the poem any longer and
B) The narrator is a local passer by, and wouldn't know that much.
However I will edit for the other points.
Done! That any better?
I like this a lot. I think you could improve by not adding dashes- it confuses me. I would also love to see you expand your scope through relating back to the title of the piece. I found it a bit samey towards stanza 3 but it recovered in time. I found it also depressing. Maybe you could lighten the mood...? Afterall, negativity in this world is not nice. Refrain from being angry and be happy. Find love, mehn. Free the mandem.
Thanks for the review. Sorry about the dashes, but it's just my editing software won't let me have blank lines. Could you perhaps be a little more specific about the "dark" feeling? Don't forget to like!
Oooh, cool, I really enjoyed your poem
You have an excellent imagination, I would've never thought to write such a poem and I can tell you're a great writer by the beautiful metaphors you added in... I really liked this:
It creates the imagery in the poem, of huge crowds of people ignoring a solid rock, ignoring the hat man... great comparison!!
I'm trying to look for any critiques to give you but I can't find any!
I do, however have a question...
[quote]he was here when I was born,
and he'll be here when I'm dead.[/quote}
Not to be one of those annoying technical or logical people
Anyways, looking forward to more of your writing!
Thanks! I think it is more an impression f the hat man lasting for ever than a real thing
don't forget to like!
Thanks! I think it is more an impression f the hat man lasting for ever than a real thing
don't forget to like!
Hello!
First of the description..,,a poem which is not about love'' totally made me click the link, it's so great that you chose something else.
Now to the review itself
This poem has a great flow and really reminds me of something that could be put in front of a fantasy novel..about the hat man!
My favorite line was:
,,I know the hat man,
but he doesn't know me.
He's a solid rock,
and people, the sea.''
I love metaphors that play with the image of rocks and oceans and ahhh amazing!
Keep up the super good work!
-sophiewrites
Thanks alot. Don't forget to like!