Broken Mask

Hello there! As you have been review bombing me, I though I'd return the favor! (GO BLUE!) This poem was quite beautiful! My favorite part was the bit that said:

while you, as delicate as a rosebud,

are made to flee with petals torn.

Probably the only negative thing I have to say is in every stanza but the first, there seemed to be a rhyming pattern. However, you used pearls and girl. The singular of pearls would have rhymed, but since it didn't that threw me off a bit. Keep writing and, as always, keep smiling! See ya around the site, and in the reviews!
-Sis

Hey there!

Very good work. I enjoyed reading your poem. What I really liked was how you built up one on top of the other.
She was broken. She fled. She lived a lie. And finally reality died.
Awesome construction right there! Keep it up.

BiancaLU

Hey there, Fiend! (heh.)
I totally love this poem, really, I do. It was very realistic and I especially enjoyed how your rhythm worked, the rhyming was great too, not sounding forced at all!
My favourite line was by far:
"while you, as delicate as a rosebud,
are made to flee with petals torn."
The "petals torn" bit was so well written, it is very memorable and a brilliant image to have. This has a well earned place in the spotlight, and I would not be surprised if it got to the top.
"ddelicate" just one d, which I'm sure is a typo.

Brilliant, I can relate to your narrator and I am glad someone has written about this! Great job!
-CFG

Ello Fiend (I'm sorry..I can't help it), Subtle here for a review on this fine day! Now, this is a very realistic and well-written poem. I can't find any spelling mistakes except:

who's ddelicate and shy,

Goodness.
This hit home.
There's absolutely nothing for me to nitpick at.
This poem is so relatable, it's scary.
All of it.
I read this about four times, tears pricking at the corners of my eyes each time, realizing that this is me.
The one that got me the most was:
"You have to hide the real you,

who's delicate and shy,

and guard her with your made-up face,

and forever live a lie."


Thank you so much for sharing this.

Wow, nice job TakeThatYouFiend! This poem is great!

I'm not really sure what to say about it because I don't review/write poetry often but each stanza is really neatly written and has a specific direction.

The lines are also interchangeable. For instance, you can gut out the middle of a stanza but leave the top and bottom lines and still the poem would make sense and have the same effect on the reader.

My favorite line of this poem is the opener: "Every morning you apply your face..." Normally, people don't apply their "faces", they apply makeup but your play on that really makes this poem even cooler.

With that, I hate to say that I think I found a teensy-weensy spelling mistake, in the third stanza, second line.
You write: "...whose kind, gentle, mild, shy..." . I believe "whose" in this sentence should be spelled WHO'S . You know, whose is the possessive one and the other is-- well I'm sure you know.

This is a great poem. Great job!

You did a great job on this! My only nitpick would have to be that the line "Whose kind, gentle, mild, shy," doesn't flow quite the same. Also, you used 'whose' when it should've been who's. Overall, good poem.