Imagine a world in which freedom is oppressed.
Where people are told what to think by the viewing screens broadcasting propaganda and brainwashing the public.
Where you are arrested for saying the wrong thing, and your life is monitored.
Where you have to tell whoever cares to listen what you are doing all the time.
Imagine a world in which the entire economic structure is based on suffering. Pain is the stitching in your clothes, death puts the food on your plate.
Where the truth is regulated and people don't care or think for humanity.
A world where slowly and surely, sanity and safety smoothly slip away to leave nothing, a life based on a lie, the gray dregs at the bottom of the sink when interest and colour is swirled down the plughole.
You can say what you want (as long as you say the right things), you can do what you want (as long as you do the right things), you can revolutionize (as long as the revolution is made in a government approved manner).
Far worse than any fabricated dystopian novel, a clever idea, a simple "what if?", the truth is a stormcloud looming and oppressive, pailing the others and blotting out the light.
Welcome to England.
Points:
Time spent:
IP address:
Canary word: Present
Possible AI signals:
Original Text:
Are you sure you want to delete this comment? This cannot be undone.
Mark this comment as a review? Points will be awarded to the poster.
Your comment was posted, but it wasn’t long enough to count as a review. Reviews need about four complete sentences (at least 250 characters). Try writing another review that explains your thoughts in more detail — the author will appreciate it, and you’ll earn points for it.
139,496 Literary Works • 672,585 Reviews
This is really good and scary. And you thought this up and i thought i was weird. Remind me to stay away from you
This is very intense, explains things really well and some are a little true which is very good too. I really enjoyed reading. It makes people realise what actually happens in the world, things we miss everyday
Foxtail13 xx
Powerful stuff - quite disturbing and very well written. I like how you built this up and made it seem so alien and crazy, and then your final statement is the 'big reveal'. It's very clever, and makes good use of rhetoric. Are you thinking of going into politics, by any chance?
But fortunately I think your piece disproves your argument, though, as you're still here and haven't been carted off to the salt mines - or wherever this dystopia removes its dissidents.
I would argue that England isn't quite this bad - yet!
Some great metaphors and good imagery used to bring this to life -
"Pain is the stitching in your clothes, death puts the food on your plate."
"a life based on a lie, the gray dregs at the bottom of the sink when interest and colour is swirled down the plughole."
I think maybe I spotted a typo - 'pailing' should be 'paling', I think?
But other than that, thought-provoking and controversial. Great write.
Thanks!
Can I just say this was my first poem ever.
Did you know that England has the highest surveillance cameras per square mile?
Thanks!
Can I just say this was my first poem ever.
Did you know that England has the highest surveillance cameras per square mile?
Thanks!
Can I just say this was my first poem ever.
Did you know that England has the highest surveillance cameras per square mile?
Thanks!
Can I just say this was my first poem ever.
Did you know that England has the highest surveillance cameras per square mile?
Thanks!
Can I just say this was my first poem ever.
Did you know that England has the highest surveillance cameras per square mile?
Thanks!
Can I just say this was my first poem ever.
Did you know that England has the highest surveillance cameras per square mile?
Thanks!
Can I just say this was my first poem ever.
Did you know that England has the highest surveillance cameras per square mile?
oops.
Whoa. OK, so I thought I'd review one of your works since you appear to be on a reviewing spree, and I thought, "Hey, the reviewer deserves reviews too!" So, anyway, I am glad I decided to look through your stuff because I wouldn't have found this otherwise! It's so intense, blunt, and just plain fantastic! It's the kind of flat-out poem that tells you what it wants, leaving you to mull over the picture it's presented you with and the ending is a clear-cut, final statement that binds it all together! Well done!
Just a small typo over here, though:
"yo" should be "you."
I loved this! There isn't much more left to be said.
Keep up the brilliant work, keep writing!
Cheers,
~Pompadour
Thanks! Can I just say that this was my first ever work...
I wasn't expecting any more reviews on it.
The phrase is indeed cliche but we must remember to expect the unexpected!
And this was your first work? It's awesome!
Expecting the unexpected is inpossable, as then it would be expected.
And the circles come back to haunt me. O_O
This is really good!
I especially like your last line too, it really makes the reader take a step back and think "Whoaa"
Your writing is good, grammar is good.
I'm being picky here, but you need to clean up the "You" you spelt wrong in line "as long as yo do the right things"
Overall though, great poetry here, the end was a really good way to finish, last lines are hard to think of, so you've done great.Looking forward to seeing more of your writing! Keep it up!
-CFG
Wow. That was...Intense. Here I was waiting for about seven other countries. Its always interesting to see how other people might look at the country they live in versus the rest of the world's view.
England. I don't know much about it except for what happened during the seventeenth and eighteenth centuries. Present moment isn't my strong point.
All the same, the way you built up to the end made the reader sit at the edge of their seats thinking "well, where are you?" and then you hit us with one of the oldest and most advanced countries in the world. I admire your diction and the way the sentences seemed to flow together so that there was no stop or start, but it was just like a cascading river. Well written and well argued.
Keep writing!
Thanks! Incase you were wondering I am English, and the title is a quote
We speak the tongue that Shakespeare spake,
The faith and morals hold that Milton held,
In everything we are sprung of earth's first blood.
welcome to England? i don't understand the specific description. even with your use of the word, imagine, my imagination is not still specifically awakened to anything (this might be personal). you're punctuation is precise and there are no grammatical errors per say. i think you did well, enough, maybe this is not my field. nice job!