This senryu is
very deep and meaningful.
Yes, it is. So there.
Points:
Time spent:
IP address:
Canary word: Present
Possible AI signals:
Original Text:
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139,284 Literary Works • 672,524 Reviews
Since we are talking haiku's and Japan, konnichiwa! Aoi iku! 青い行く! Eh, I'll stop now...but that means go blue!! Alright, so pros and cons!
See ya in the reviews and around the site!
Cons:
1. Is there any? I'm going to pretend like I'm scolding (Ha! That sounds like my mom) and criticizing you for the "wrong" in the poem and then I'm going to joyfully skip over to the pros and be happy! Yay!!!
Pros:
1. Everything. Can that be a category?
2. I loved how you said senryu instead od haiku! That's such a cool way to do this!
3. I suppose the last line can be counted a bit humorous, so congrats there!
4. Spelling, grammar....it's great!
My favorite part was probably the first two lines! Loved it!
Overall, this is really good! It reminds me of your poem, Why I believe in God. I loved how you were just like, so there! In your face! Lol. As always, keep writing and smiling!
-Sis
Thanks! (That should be are there any, not is. I am nit-picky. )
...whatever...don't judge
-.-
Hi person! Anyway...I actually think that it flows better without the comma after "senryu", but that's just me. Since you wouldn't see it written that way if it were a sentence, it distracts me from the meaning (sorry - lack thereof) of the poem, if you get what I'm saying.
Also, the last sentence has a little comma issue
Consider changing it to "Yes, it is. So there." Or "Yes, it is, so there." or something similar. Just so it'll flow better.
As for the poem...I would like to say that in titling it "Pointless", you are pronouncing a vivid and terrible lie. First of all, perfect circles cannot be created (at this moment in history), meaning that all shapes that are generated, by computer or otherwise, have at least one point. Lines, of course, have two points; letters consist of lines, words consist of letters, and your poem consists of words. Therefore, your poem has...*counts*...exactly 132 points.
I'm serious. Unless I counted wrong.
Unless you count PIXELS...
Also, this poem has a point: you are stating that it is pointless. Therefore, its point is to be pointless.
I think you sum up the argument that most people use when talking to curious 5-year-olds very well, by the way.
In any case...congratulations, this poem gave me a profound insight about the universe. You should be proud.
Thanks! My punctuation is being bounced backwards and forwards like a galactic yoyo!
Wouldn't that be up-and-down?
There are no directions in space.
Then it wouldn't be going backwards and forwards either!
Metaphorical directions need not obay gravity.
But gravity does not exist in deep space, where there are no nearby objects to substantiate a gravitational pull, so your statement is invalid.
Yet the metaphoric directions are relative to a metaphorical gravity.
But if everything is relative, and the directions and gravity are both metaphorical, and metaphors are not literal, meaning they don't actually exist, then the metaphors are nothing; and if nothing is relative then neither are the metaphors, and your statement is invalid again
This is fun.
Who said absence was relative? Mearly similar nothings.
But if nothing is an infinite concept, how can there be multiple nothings that are similar to each other?
The yoyo and the directions are two parts of the same nothing.
But if you have a part of a nothing, and nothing is infinite...how can you have part of an infinity? If you can split infinity into parts, that implies that it is, at one point, a whole and finite object, capable of being divided. It is not; therefore neither the yoyo nor the directions exist (not that they ever did) and nothing doesn't exist either, which means that everything exists...but if everything exists, and nothing is a something, is everything nothing, since both concepts are infinite?
Or are they?
*headache*
Infinity can be split to an also infinate and a finite part. Imagine taking a cup of water from an infinite sea.
But if the sea was infinite, there would be no room left for the cup, or for you!
Which also means --->we don't exist! Ha! I told you so...
There can be more than one infinacy, and things outside infinacy. Just look at numbers!
Numbers are merely approximations and therefore invalid.
(If you have two apples of different sizes... do you have two apples, or is one of them 76% of the other apple?)
Numbers are not approximations, they are theory for manipulating reality.
Hahahaha...
This is indeed pointless, a very good dpointless too.
Hi! Tsholdin here for a review!
This is a very pointless piece. But I feel like it was also needed.
I love how humorous this is.
I had to Google what a senryu is and it is something I have never seen before.
It translates to River Willow, which is different. But seeing how a Senyru is mostly cynical and darkly humorous, you did it very well.
I love that you say it is deep and meaningful when it is actually not. It could be, but not to me.
I only have one thing to say critique wise.
I think this should have a comma after "is" just to help it flow a little better.
Other than that, there isn't much else to say.
May your days be successful and meaningful,
-TH
I am surprised and baffled that you took time to Google it for such a pointless poem! I'll be sure to make changes later.
That any better?
Timmyjake here to leave you a review!
Hmmm.... So I Ixquicked it(an alternative to google lol) and it says that it is a Japanese form of poetry that is three lines or less...
There isn't much more to say on it, except for that this is really strange and definitely isn't a normal type of poetry. I see that you labeled it under humor, and it is funny... Although I don't know if I would label it as deep and meaningful
I have never left a review before where I didn't point out mistakes, so why stop now? hee hee... I am sure I can find something.... Ah!
Sorry, all I can critique. Normally, a piece is longer than a review... but not this time! lol This was pointless, but very humorous as well. Keep Writing Fiend! Make some Haiku's and Senryu's soon!
~Timmyjake
The lack of comma there is a clever poetical device I am using, to portray sadness in the poem (hehehe no it's not)
I literally wrote this in under 60 seconds!
There you go! One (two) extra commas!
Haha!!!