sometimes I just like to lay around and think of you
did you know that?
my lips simply must quirk up every time I envision that mop of curly brown hair
those dorky glasses that you think make you look like a nerd (but I think are adorable)
your beat-up Converse that have wandered into ragged cloth, barely holding together
I like smiling, and with you, it’s impossible to resist.
did you know that?
sometimes I giggle to myself about the howling hilarity episodes we had days ago
side-splitting laughter as you rolled on the floor, tears streaming down your cheeks
it wasn’t even that funny, but the surge of joy from just being around you makes me giddy
you make me happy.
did you know that?
sometimes I wonder how it’s possible to look that handsome in a sweater
and how cute it is when you talk so gently to little kids and dogs
and how I love your marker tattoos of Bible verses that wind up your wiry arms
and I thank the God you love so much for making you my kind of perfect.
did you know that?
I bet you didn’t.
.
sometimes I just like to lay around and think of you.
did you know that?
I’m kind of forced to be happy when I realize that I’ll be seeing you tomorrow
that I can make you laugh again and again every day we meet (I hope it’s forever)
that I can make your blonde eyelashes flutter and your chest heave with laughter
making you happy makes me happy.
did you know that?
my heart swells when I look into those beautiful eyes that can’t decide whether they’re green or hazel
when I touch your thick blonde hair that you sometimes hate (but I think is gorgeous)
when you wrinkle that adorable pixie nose with the splatter of freckles like stars over the night sky
you are the true definition of beauty.
did you know that?
sometimes I wonder how you can walk with such delightful sass, hips swaying in self-confidence
and how your hatred for makeup just makes you stand out more in the crowd
and how I love your daily, spontaneous dance sessions without any music to be heard
and I thank my God every single day for making you my kind of perfect.
did you know that?
I bet you didn’t.
.
because it seems as if we are standing with miles of snow between us
despite the laughs and amazing times we’ve always had
what can really come out of this?
we’re afraid to stain the beautiful landscape, the equilibrium we found here in this friendship
if one steps forward and confesses, would the snow turn to rain?
we can’t keep living like this, together but alone,
debating if failure is possibly worth the reward
for days at a time, the sounds of snow falling fills our ears
it’s time to break this barrier
who will launch this crusade?
.
“God? It’s me.
I think I’m in love.”
Points:
Time spent:
Canary word: Present
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Original Text:
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This is beautiful and intelligent! I love the scenery you managed to plant in my brain. What I love the most about this poem was the innocence of it all. It was so sweet and, well, innocent and I couldn't stop reading it. Very good job! Actually, I really love how you ended the poem. It's a very genius way to end it and I am very impressed with your work. Keep writing!
Thank you!
This is an absolutely beautiful poem. I love your use of imagery, and your descriptions. With that being said I have one critique; generally the first letter of each line is capitalized even if it as continuation of sentence from a previous line. Other than that your poem is fantastic and I hope everything works out with the one you have come to love.
Thank you!
This almost made me cry.
Scratch that, it did make me cry.
The only issue I found was when you described the person you love and how handsome they look in a sweater, then their hatred of their hair and makeup. I was a little confused as to the gender of the narrator (you, I suppose) and the gender of the recipient of said affection. This really was a beautiful poem and I especially loved the last line and how you included this person's faith.
Thank you so much for writing this. It's easily the best poem I've seen on YWS. Not that the other ones aren't brilliant, just that this one speaks to each and every single person who has been in love or at the very least, experienced a crush.
XOXO,
Gravity
Thanks Gravity! The format for the poem that I was trying for was that the first stanza was from the girl's POV, then the guy's, then together. Hope that helps some!
Wow...beautiful...such love ,much wow. Words of yours completely describe my thoughts, i hope u r going to write something more romantic next time, and for this i would say it is one of the most fascinating thing i have read in the site this far, stay blessed nd May ALLAH also Bless ur love
TC!
Thank you!
There's something about this that just makes me warm and fuzzy inside!
So yeah it's a really nice piece, and it sure is cute :3
On a side note is the concept part 1 is perspective 1 then 2 is perspective 2 then together (if that makes any sense)
Yes, that is the concept. First the girl POV, then guy, then both.
Thanks!
Heeeey! I thought this was super cuute! ^-^
I just have one comment, you wrote this from two different perspectives right? Was it from the girls perspective and then the guys perspective? Other wise I'd think you were writing about two different boys and I'd be like uuuummm. Hahaha, just curious! It's really lovely, and I like how you expressed all the stuff most people feel when they're in love. x)
XD Yes, yes it was from both lover's point of views! Haha that would be strange if it were to two guys. XD Thank you!
You sir, you're romantic.
Haha, why thank you.
*tips hat*
Here to review! ^-^
Oh my god... I'm in love with this..
The feelings it conveys are perfect. The feelings of people who are just friends, but love each other. The feelings of being terrified to tell the other, for it may end the friendship. This was worded beautifully. It was amazing, and I really want to see more from you.
Thank you!
No need to thank me for telling the truth.