murder in the write

This is fantastic! The emotions are powerful and clear and I feel the anger. Your writing style I found original and interesting without those lame cliches.

I noticed there is no capitalization. I don't write poetry myself and I think that there is an acceptation but I just wanted to point it out.

This was fantastic and really emotionally raw. Usually when I hear that phrase I think of sadness but in this case I mean anger. I don't know if you wrote this for fun or if you really felt this way. But if you did feel any murderous rage I'm glad you wrote poetry instead.

The one big thing I see is the i's. Even though it's a poem and is therefore not subject to punctuation and capitalization in the same way, I feel like it would look better were the i's capitalized. Be that as it may, this is merely a suggestion.

My favorite lines are: "I neglected to daydream in letters/instead I dreamt of swirls of fire" and "flames are not poem-material/so I wrote this instead."

Really great. Keep writing!!

This was really amazing, Night. It had so much emotion, and the perfect irony is that it's about you unable to express your emotion through words. It was simply awesome.

A couple quick suggestion type things:
1. wrote it with fingertips smeared crimson
i neglected to daydream in letters

This was a rather quick and confusing transition. Why are your fingertips smeared with blood (I'm assuming that's what you meant by 'crimson')? It suddenly changed to 'neglecting to daydream', and I don't know, but the transition was a little sudden and confusing for me. Probably just me, though .

2. flames are not poem-material
I don't think you need a dash between poem and material.

3. this creature i call myself
I'm not quite sure what this line's significance was. Is it really necessary? I think it would still be a good endingish sort of thing with 'the hibernation of emotions hiding deep inside' and then go on to 'but i still feel nothing'.

The ending was marvelous. Simply magnificent! The title was also excellent. It completely fitted and wrapped up the poem!
Overall rating: 8.5/10
Keep writing, my friend!!
+1

Hey, VB.

Goodness. This is our type of thing, right? XD We just love this demented, horrory, gory, strange, mesmerizing, wonderful, in our eyes beautiful style. The blood really wet my appetite (hahaha, one of my terrible puns), all that emotion forced into this was exhilarating. The hate. The bloodshed. The fear. All of it just dripped from the page (if it was in a book). The lack if punctuation and capitals really stood out yo me - it told me: I'm a murder. I'll do what I want. I won't bend the rules, I break them. Stuff this. I'll do it my way. The free style showed me how guilt free this twisted person is, and also, how free he is physically. It sent shivers down my spine. I really liked this <3
You're amazing.

Your marvel buddy,
Traunt

This is a wonderful read! I love it, it strums my chords and resonates a pleasant tune in my mind. It's very dark and sinister, just the type of writing that I find oddly alluring.

However, I feel that the "i's" should be capitalized. Along with the letters starting every sentence. But like you said, it is 'free-style' poetry, though I find grammar much sexier x) Other-wise, I love it so much. The imagery it provides me with is very sublime, sounds much like the work and mind of an actual killer. As short as this poem may be, it deserves a long, meticulous review. Whatever inspired you to write this work of art? I am curious about what goes on in brilliant minds such as these.

Wow. Just wow. This is an amazing, expressive piece. I especially love the rhythm of it and the line "forced it between gritted teeth". Nice imagery. One thing-- the spacing between every two lines can become distracting and interrupt from the "flow" of it. Was this intentional? Great job, Nightcrawler!

I really like where your coming from which is the heart. If you fixed some grammatical stuff it would be fantastic.