Bring me somewhere nice,
Where the birds never leave the sky
Bring me somewhere nice,
Where the flowers ne’er wither and die.
.
Bring me somewhere nice,
Where children and flutes sing
Bring me somewhere nice,
Where love makes the loudest ring.
.
Bring me somewhere nice,
Without the mockers and scorn
Bring me somewhere nice,
Where hearts are always warm.
.
Bring me somewhere nice,
Where I can be myself
Bring me somewhere nice,
Where I can I fear no one else.
.
Bring me somewhere nice,
Where clouds are harmless cotton balls,
Bring me somewhere nice,
With soft ground for when we fall.
.
Bring me somewhere nice,
When our loved ones never leave
Bring me somewhere nice,
Where I can lay and feel at peace.
.
Bring me somewhere nice,
Somewhere opposite of here,
Bring me somewhere nice,
Or else, I might just disappear...
.
Please, oh please,
Just bring me somewhere nice.
Points:
Time spent:
IP address:
Canary word: Present
Possible AI signals:
Original Text:
Are you sure you want to delete this comment? This cannot be undone.
Mark this comment as a review? Points will be awarded to the poster.
Your comment was posted, but it wasn’t long enough to count as a review. Reviews need about four complete sentences (at least 250 characters). Try writing another review that explains your thoughts in more detail — the author will appreciate it, and you’ll earn points for it.
139,601 Literary Works • 672,615 Reviews
Heeeeey! IamTraunt here to review for my oh so marveloso bud. (Hee hee, see what I did there?)
My favourite line:
It was so beautiful. It just gave me that sense of hope, it made me feel warm and calm. Also, it made me think that the secret meaning behind this wonderful piece of work. Heaven. Am I right? There will be no one mocking, no one scornful, no one nasty or cruel or disobedient. That is what I presume. I loved the essence of this poem - it made feel light and (hee hee) fluffy like that cloud. And that's saying something. When you get your readers to feel something rather than just tell them, it means you're awesome. Which you are. Your work is very emotive and powerful and that really strikes me here *points to heart*.
You are epic at poetry did you know?
Keep up the brilliance!
Thank you yet again! I was just stressed when I wrote this and just wanted to sleep... XD
Aw, thanks. Read some of my others! This is actually one of my least favorites. XD
You rock!
I enjoyed this poem very, very much. And, (pardon my being) contrary to AEChronicle, I actually rather liked there being little imagery and detail. It was exactly what he (she? [Sorry, new here.]) said. Simple and sweet describes it nicely, and I feel like too much detail would ruin its effect. Simplicity, softness--Much like that of an innocent child. Which, personally, I love in poetry styles like this. The line "Take me somewhere nice", albeit repetitive, is exactly what was needed. Simple (I use that word a lot, don't I?), straight to the point, innocent... I fell in love with it. Nicely done!
(Oh, dash it all. My iPod won't allow me to switch the review tab over to "yes". Well, I don't know if that can be fixed once I get on stationary or not, but you should know that this is indeed a review. My apologies for the inconvenience!)
Thank you Shea! Welcome to YWS, by the way. Glad you enjoyed it!
This is a very beautiful poem. Who doesn't like going to "somewhere nice?"
"Bring me somewhere nice,
Where clouds are harmless cotton balls,
Bring me somewhere nice,
With soft ground for when we fall."
I like this stanza because I'm constantly falling off of things. Seriously, though, this is probably the best part of the poem. In these two short lines (I'm not counting the "Bring me somewhere nice," as you repeat it a lot,) I get a really good grasp of a wonderful world where everything is soft and plushy.
This poem is a classic representation of something that my grandmother would cross stitch on her pillow, and I don't mean that in a derogatory way. It's simple, it's sweet, and there's absolutely nothing bad about it.
As the writing of the poem goes, I would like to see more colorful descriptions, rather than just saying what you want, and repeating "Bring me somewhere nice," every other line. This may just be me being cynical, and this also fits into it's own genre of poetry, but for me personally, I don't like repetition. It gets really boring for me really fast. But that's just me.
All in all, this is a good poem.
Thank you GriffinClaw!
Thanks AE! I just thought, I write so much depressing stuff, and I felt in a calm mood, so why not write a happy poem for once? I think I will definitely go back and make this better, but I only had time for the bare minimum. Thanks again!