she’d prick her digits with needles
1 2 3 4 5
she’d kiss the red beads welling
from moon pale fingerprints
and leave her mark through
crimson half-moon crescents
on some helpless victim’s cheek
pain steeped with love
diffusing into confusion
.
these days she caresses her fingertips
1 2 3 4 5
they live in cloud white gauze cocoons
but they fail to sprout gossamer wings
she doesn’t leave butterfly kisses now
her love long sucked dry
day by day she wonders why
moon lips and scarlet symbols
had ever been enough.
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Canary word: Present
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125,021 Literary Works • 672,740 Reviews
Hi, there. I am new here so I will like to write a review for you. Even though I am not good at poem reviewing, I still do my best.
This is very...dark poem...? So it is about a woman who is no-longer a loving woman who was full of love by some ex who had broken her? I don't know. I thought it was a horror poem about a woman who murdered someone who hurt her.
Well, there's one thing about this poem that needed to be improve-and it is punctation. It looked like a long sentence that was space out in two lines. Maybe you need to put some punctation in this, man. I don't know...maybe people who are famous writer do that. I am not a queen of poety.
(I am the Queen of Video Games..lol)
Anyway, this is a great poem. It is good. That's all that I have to say. It was good.
Well, bye!
Thanks for the review! The spacing and lack of grammar was intentional.
The Stream of the poem moves really nicely. Talking about the pain and having her love sucked dry. Kind of like a heart breaking poem or the poem of which one has lost their love to some kind of tragic moment. I could read this over and over and it truly has touched my heart. I know that many people look for their love and never find it or are just too stubborn to understand that it’s there somewhere in this dysfunctional world.
Thank you!
you're welcome.