Isolation

by Sonder

Published January 4, 2014

In 2014 Poetry

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The swish of the blade

The sound of butterfly wings

The color of hope draining fast

I cut the sky open,

Letting it bleed blue,

Not crimson.

I never knew that

Sun rays drip like mercury.

I wish I had laser vision

To cut through the walls

You put up inside, around you,

Made of clay and dust

The remains of broken friendship.

I never knew that

The heart could be blind.

The walls would melt

If there were rain

But there has been a drought

The grass has dried up

The sea is nothing but salt

And the birds lie flightless on the sand.

I never knew that

Tears could take years to fall.

I tried to make wings

To fly over the walls to find you,

Hidden in your oasis of solitarity

Playing cards by yourself.

I would run in and save the day

By the pure force of determination alone.

You make a paper house

Out of kings and jokers

But when will it fall?

I never knew that

The mind could give way so fast.

I think back to the times

When our laughter, combined as one,

Rang over the hills and through the windows

Of the houses of our loved ones.

And they would smile and laugh along

I remember one time when you called my mother, “Mom.”

And when I walked through your back door and cried,

“I’m home!”

I never knew that

Memories couldn’t last into the present.

The wings are ragged, worn with care

Crafted out of magazines and newspaper

They are full of lies

Shallow and deceitful

And I look down at the feathers

Of words and false truths,

And they remind me of you.

I never knew that

Childhood dreams could be downed

With a single blow.

Comments & reviews · 7
User avatar
Magenta
Review
Magenta wrote a review Review · Jan 26, 2014

Hello GriffinClaw,

This is Magenta. I'm sure that you remember my last review so I'll try harder this time. I thought that this was a very well-written poem. This poem is practically a metaphor in itself.

"The wings are ragged, worn with care
Crafted out of magazines and newspaper
They are full of lies
Shallow and deceitful
And I look down at the feathers
Of words and false truths,
And they remind me of you."

These are my favorite lines of the poem! Great job with this writing.
I have only one thing to ask you. Why did you have some lines on the right side? If you wanted them to be more noticed, I would put them in the middle or something other than that because I didn't see them until I started writing this. Anyway, great writing. :)

- Magenta

Sonder replied · Jan 26, 2014

Thank you Magenta! I worked very hard on this poem. I put those lines at the right because I felt they were more of an echo of what was already being said, so they didn't need as much attention as the main poem. Thanks so much for the review. :) I really am sorry for before. I overreacted, I was having a bad day. You really have improved. :)

I understand now! Don't worry about that. ;)
Glad you are on the winning team!
~ Magenta

User avatar
NikkiJamesWolf
Comment
NikkiJamesWolf commented Comment · Jan 26, 2014

You just described it in ways I never thought imaginable. It's amazing, inspiring.

User avatar
racket
Comment
racket commented Comment · Jan 6, 2014

Good job, Griff! This is great! I really don't feel the need to review, it is so great. Perfection. I really like your favorite line,

I never knew that
Sun rays could drip like mercury.

Good job!
~Racket

User avatar
MysteryMe
Comment
MysteryMe commented Comment · Jan 4, 2014

Wow, Griff. I can't even review this, it's too perfect. Seriously, you deserve a standing ovation for this or something. It's magnificent...

Sonder replied · Jan 4, 2014

Thank you! :D That makes me really happy, coming from a great writer like you. :)

User avatar
Ciblio
Review
Ciblio wrote a review Review · Jan 4, 2014

This was just...absolutely beautiful. Magnificent.
I think my most favorite part would have to be:

"The wings are ragged, worn with care

Crafted out of magazines and newspaper

They are full of lies

Shallow and deceitful

And I look down at the feathers

Of words and false truths,

And they remind me of you."

Your words flow together perfectly.
And I just love how you ended it.
I think that you're awesome.
And you're a really, really good writer.
Thank you for sharing your work with it.
I loved reading it.

Sonder replied · Jan 4, 2014

Thank you so much!

User avatar
Laure
Comment
Laure commented Comment · Jan 4, 2014

Speechless ...

Sonder replied · Jan 4, 2014

Thanks! XD

User avatar
Butterfinger
Review
Butterfinger wrote a review Review · Jan 4, 2014

You have quite the talent for writing! I really enjoyed reading this!

I didn't realize there were more stanzas on the far right till I got into it, maybe it's just me, but if they were more centered they wouldn't be missed?

I love the imagery that's throughout this piece. The walls melting, the drought, birds on the sand....

I love this line: "Hidden in your oasis of solitarity."

Each stanza is great! Great job! Keep writing, you're fun to read!

Sonder replied · Jan 4, 2014

Thank you!



I am and always will be optimist, the hoper of far-flung hopes, the dreamer of improbable dreams.
— 11th Doctor