i’ve seen things many will never know.
i’ve experienced only a droplet
out of the entire storm that life offers, and
i’ve got a long way to go.
.
i’ve seen the harsh terrain of kenyan savannahs
hazel grass bowing to the merciless king of the horizon
man with ebony skin and wild beast in a constant struggle
against an uncaring world, each other,
and themselves.
.
i’ve seen childhood snatched away by ignorance and self-obsession
by anonymous millions who turn away
covering their eyes with funeral shrouds of the nameless dead.
.
i’ve seen emaciated children clutched in death’s grip
as desperate mothers tried to hold them back
with bonds of love
and their last gifts are the prayers that
their beloved, tattered child
will find heaven’s gates safe and sound.
.
i’ve seen struggle.
.
i’ve seen love.
.
i’ve seen the gray skies of london
a so-called place of prosperity and peace
tourists roam the landscape in search of adventurous history tales,
while hundreds of others bustle along the charming streets
to jobs, families, train stations, other destinations, and
beneath a dreary sky
cameras spy on all.
.
i’ve seen the teeming life in las vegas
the heart of success and worldly pleasures
women display themselves in hopes of a dime
casinos flash and sparkle for another black widow’s catch
reel in the common man
spit him out spent
this is the trap the world has spun.
.
i’ve seen happiness.
.
this is not it.
.
i’ve seen the wonders of God’s creations
a mother black bear raising her kin where they belong
among redwoods that took my breath away
rattlesnakes hissing in the mountains
mountain goats sliding along a carved landscape
national parks preserving what should be.
.
i’ve seen cheerful seals and writhing sea stars on rocky beaches
stingrays and schools of squid, fragile life isolated in the depths
vibrant fish darting among the rare coral clusters
snorkeling in the sea, sunlight filtering through the silence,
i never wanted to breathe.
.
i’ve seen the earth run wild.
.
i’ve seen the beauty of chaos.
.
i’ve seen things many will never know.
i’ve experienced only a droplet
out of the entire storm that life offers, and
i’ve got a long way to go.
.
i’ve searched the world over.
.
what am i looking for?
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125,021 Literary Works • 672,740 Reviews
Hey! I'll do my best here for this review because this piece really deserves it.
Wow, where to begin... You've certainly seen a lot of things! (ba dum tss).
But all jokes aside, this is a very serious piece. With your detailed descriptions of different locations you've managed to create a vivid contrast between places. From kenyan savannahs to London and Las Vegas, the reader can easily identify the differences of life goals and the striving of people for something better and greater. Yet you feel that they are all kind of the same. All of them unhappy in their own special way. Your search for the unknown becomes the readers search for the unknown. The more you read the poem, the more you want to find out has he found what he was looking for! Suddenly it is very important for you. And that is when you know you've created something good. A bitter end tho for everyone, since you don't reveal in fact what that is, but maybe that's for the best. This way there will be very different ways to understand this. Everyone can have their own ending.
I absolutely loved this piece. It made me think about life and how it is all just a big search for something. Our life goals are actually focused on indentifying our "thing". Obtaining it is a whole different story...
Proper good job mate!
-Kajka
Wow. Thank you for such a beautiful review. This means a lot. Poems are so incredibly hard to review, yet this is one of the best I've received. Thank you.
Cheers.
This is beautiful. <3 Great job, Night.
Thank you.
<3
This is potent. There are some serious things going on here. This is a poem that isn't kidding. The first thing that really stood out to me was the drastic and powerful images that you create with sparse, but intentional language. 'Childhood snatched away' is fantastic, and the stanzas before and afterward are just glorious. Rhythmically, they are fluid, and there isn't a word out of place or unnecessary that I can see. You have a great poetic impulse here that captures the vitality of such a broad work really well. The whirlwind lists and comparisons make for a vast catalogue of life that really works for this poem. My biggest critique would be to let yourself go ever faster in this mode, just name and jump and move through with the fluidity of your language as fast as you care to. That would make the times when you slow down and really observe VERY powerful. You begin to name cities, and you do an excellent job of using cities to create mood and present a facet of human progress. My only qualm would be that if you are going mention cities by name, I would like for you to mention more. Maybe not describe then in as much depth, but give us a place and one line of description or thereabouts, and move on. To me, that would make the city as a motif fee much less isolated in the work. The images of nature are broad and beautiful, and limiting the city scenes to such specific areas just seems to be missing a little. That being said, those scenes are some of my favorite passages of the poem. Your language is wonderful and I hope you hold on to that. The question at the end is an interesting move, but it feels a little odd. I think there may be another way you could express that sentiment, like maybe stating that you don't know what you are looking for, or that one day you might find what you are looking for....? Im not sure, but I feel like it could be resolved in a way that fits in a bit better with the style of the poem. All in all, a fantastic piece. Thank you for posting!
Thanks for the review! I'll definitely look into that.