Someone once said to me 'Yes, but, you never get poems about cool things like zombies, do you?' Well now you do.
.
The Zombies of Xavier Lane
.
On Xavier Lane on a day in the rain
in an upside down canoe
were people afraid of the choices they made
to see the apocalypse through.
.
A week had gone by since the tread of a fly
on the back of a terrier's paw
and the world was fast changed, the people deranged
until they weren't people no more.
.
But in the canoe, the brave trio who
had determined to rescue the land,
they talked of disease and were almost at ease,
the scientist, doctor and-
.
"Well why are you here? It really is queer.
What do you think you can do?"
The doctor was rocked and had his gun cocked
at the man who owned the canoe.
.
"Are you a joiner, a builder or foreigner?"
The scientist determined to find.
"You must have a position, perhaps a physician?
Or are you just out of your mind?"
.
The third was becalmed, not one bit alarmed
as he took down their words with a pen.
"I am not medic nor manic but there's no need to panic.
Gentlemen, I am history's friend."
.
Night fell in the city and the creatures of pity
grew bold in the absence of light.
Beneath the boat bunker, the doctor got drunker
as the trio prepared for their fight.
.
The first ambled over, a lone ragged rover
who our scientist shot in the chest.
The second limped longer, the third stumbled stronger
and the fourth and the fifth and the rest!
.
The doctor was bitten, the scientist smitten
(their dreams of a cure were gone).
But many years later, we uncovered papers
which show friends of history live on.
Points:
Time spent:
Canary word: Present
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Original Text:
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125,021 Literary Works • 672,740 Reviews
This is probably one of the coolest poems I've read on YWS. I happen to have a fondness for Zombies and this poem puts and interesting spin on things. It focuses on the dynamics of the group of hunters. The two people who have professions that are useful in situations like an apocalypse. The doctor and the scientist can make more of a difference the "friend of history" but nobody can leave a mark quite like he can. The people who weren't alive to see the actual event will be able to use his words to learn about the event.
Thank you, I'm glad you liked it! I'm really fond of zombies as well, I'd love to write a novel about them some day
Messenger here. So seeing this in the spotlight and everything got me interested to find out what this was about.
I only have one nitpick. This stanza:
Y U no rhyme! grr this looked like it could be a really good stanza, but the no line B and D rhyme really, and I mean really, threw me off. I'd work on that to find something that can rhyme because it just totally doesn't fit with the rest of the poem's amazing rhyming.
That is the only nitpick I found. I really enjoyed reading this. I am not sure what it is that it reminded me of, but it was somewhat humorous. Maybe it was English, 5 grade? Anyway!!!
So the rhyming was really great except for the above that I mentioned, and the story was really good too. The idea that these three people are hiding under a canoe I found hysterically funny.
oh wait!!!! I missed this the first read around!!
Another non-rhyming stanza! Gaah I can't take it!!! You know what to do.
And that is all I have to say. Happy Review Day!
~Messenger
Paw and more are a half rhyme so that totally counts :p Because paw sounds like pore so you've got the rhyming sound.
I'll admit that other stanza broke the pattern, but it rhymes internally instead with over and rover and longer and stronger so I thought I'd over do it with the B and D rhyme as well. But I'll definitely keep that in mind and take another look at that stanza as I realise it's breaking the pattern!
Thanks for the review
Hehe! Zombies!
I'm a huge zombie fan. And I like things that rhyme. Heh.
This was great! I thought it was pretty funny, as well. I think you did a pretty good job with it. Good work!
Keep writing!!
Thank you and I will
Damn, this was good. Almost comical in some parts hehe. Overall, I really liked it. First zombie apocalypse related work I've read on YWS so far. Being a TWD fan, I hope to see more posts like this in the future. ^_^
I love TWD! And most other zombie related tv series/ films so yeah... I'm glad you enjoyed it!
TWD ftw man! XD
I read this and then experienced my first zombie apocalypse nightmare. .-. Thanks a lot.
I'm going to take that as a compliment :p
This is so like the hunting of the snark
*Goes to read*
oh my, this is wonderful xp
Thanks
Rhydia dear!
I saw this and knew I had to review it. In hind sight, that seams pointless because this piece was masterfully written.
When I first saw The Zombies of Xavier Lane in the greenroom, I wasn't sure if I wanted to read it or not but now I'm glad I did. Honestly, I could go on and on about how beautiful this was and how awesome you're writing is and since that is the case I'll just keep this short and sweet:
I can't even nit pick because there wasn't any grammar errors or spelling errors. The flow was wonderful and the beats were just the right touch to add some elegance to this poem.
You use such creative word choice that it immediately draws me into your poem.
Love, love, love this! SO glad someone wrote a poem not about love or well...love. xD There should be more poems like this. I would read them all!
I think that's all...yeah.
Keep on keeping on!
Starleene out.
Aww, thanks so much for the kind words Starleene! It really means a lot that you took the time to let me know you liked it