The little green men are everywhere
They inhabit the pores of a sponge
I scrub my head; I scrub my toes
There is no escaping this grunge!
-
The little green men are everywhere
I shield my face with a mask
I clean all day; I clean all night
The doorknobs are quite the task!
-
The little green men are everywhere
I hide myself in my room
Feet in boxes; nets over bed
I shall not meet my doom!
-
The little green men are everywhere
They multiply more and more
Feed me crèpes; feed me pizza
It’s all that fits under the door!
Points:
Time spent:
IP address:
Canary word: Present
Possible AI signals:
Original Text:
Are you sure you want to delete this comment? This cannot be undone.
Mark this comment as a review? Points will be awarded to the poster.
Your comment was posted, but it wasn’t long enough to count as a review. Reviews need about four complete sentences (at least 250 characters). Try writing another review that explains your thoughts in more detail — the author will appreciate it, and you’ll earn points for it.
138,304 Literary Works • 672,100 Reviews
Very nice. My favourite lines are the last two being that they made me laugh. The repitition of "little green men" was a nice touch to each stanza and good to amplfy the germophobes illness. However in using "little greeen men" i kept picturing little aliens instead of germs. I suggest expanding the poem and putting the narrator in a germy hostpial just for giggles.
Hahaha. Nice one!
This is really very humorous!
I've read a few other poems of yours, and I find them all amusing. I must say, you have real talent.
The ABCB pattern of rhyme is a nice touch. It makes it even sillier.
Another fine element of this poem is how you start each stanza with " The little green men are everywhere,". Out of context, it wouldn't have made much sense, but it does, because of the wonderful title you have.
There isn't much else I have to say about this poem. There was nothing I disliked. Nice Job!
Thank you.
I'm glad you enjoyed it! Stop by anytime you need a laugh!
Thewriter13 to give you a short review.
XD(am I the only one that understood:
What a great way to end this whimsical and very true poem.
I have met to germ haters and I know they could relate to this poem
Nitpicks!
I don't think there needs to be a semicolon here. I know these are two different ideas, but wouldn't a comma be better? It's just a small nitpick that doesn't have to be changed, but I always cringe when I feel a semicolon is used wrong. (It might not be used wrong, but that's only my thinking.)
For the other stanzas I see you have repeated the semicolon. So if you want to change them to commas, you can do so
Praise
So the rhyme scheme in this poem is, once again, brilliant. You utilize this scheme well in all your other humorous poetry and I commend you for using it in the right way. (I can never rhyme that well!
The simplicity of this piece contributes to the poem quite nicely. You didn't go all wordy and lengthy on the readers, which I appreciated. Why are you so good?!
Anyway just look over punctuation if you wish. There really is nothing that can be changed here.
Keep writing!
Thanks so much! I'm glad you understood the humour behind my crepes and pizza line! That line was what inspired me to write the rest of it! I got the idea in class one day when my professor made a comment regarding hospital infections. He was saying that if we don't be careful the only thing we'll be able to eat is pancakes...because they're flat enough to fit under the door!
XD Too funny, Margo
Hi.
You have a great -although quite unique-style of humour, but I feel like I understand and click with it and that helps when reading your works.I enjoy reading your works. And this is another to add to the list. XD
It's an interesting topic to choose to write about.
My favourite is this line:
They're also quite short and I really like that about them.
You have a motif for food in your writing:
Interesting choice. XD I wonder if you wrote this when you were hungry?!
I guess an improvement point could be to use more end of line punctuation, but that's just being picky.
Keep writing.
I wasn't hungry. Crepes and pizza are the only thing that will fit under the door...they're flat. But I do love food.
LOL. Fair enough, I didn't think of it like that.
Hello.
Kanome here with a review for you.
I love the poem honestly.
It shows how some people are actual cleaner than others, and that they care about their health more than others.
Nitpicks:
- Okay, this line, I think, is irrelevant to this piece. It's probably just me, but can you explain this to me in a way that I can understand?
Other than that, this is an amazing poem.
Keep up the great work.
I can't wait to read more c:
Crepes and pizza are flat. This person is a germaphobic and they have locked themselves away in their room. They can only eat crepes and pizza because they are the only foods that will fit under the door.