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Tittie Traitor

by MargoSeuss

He told me he loved me…

But he only loved my breast,

Those big bouncy boobs,

That were attached to my chest.

He told me he loved me…

But he only loved my bras.

Those delicate booby shelves,

Those booby enhancing spas.

He told me he loved me…

But he did not tell the truth.

He did not love the whole of me,

Just the parts named Cher and Ruth.

He told me he loved me…

But his love was deceptive.

So I made him some coffee,

With a hint of contraceptive.

He told me he loved me…

But then he grew moobs.

He loved his own man tits,

Better than my boobs.

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134 Reviews

Points: 474
Reviews: 134

Thu Jan 18, 2018 5:37 pm
DrFeelGood says...

This is of the funniest works I have ever read. Had me laughing for 2 straight minutes!

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Points: 1438
Reviews: 139

Sat Jul 25, 2015 10:07 am
deleted21 says...

Not the type of poems I get to read usually o.o

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107 Reviews

Points: 333
Reviews: 107

Wed Mar 25, 2015 3:19 am
ChiravianSkies says...

This is epic. I died laughing a couple of times. Moooooobbbsss XD

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Points: 333
Reviews: 1

Fri Aug 15, 2014 7:59 pm
LiveLoveWrite says...

This is utterly fabulous xD

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59 Reviews

Points: 27
Reviews: 59

Tue Jul 29, 2014 4:01 am
Linguistic wrote a review...

I seriously almost died while reading this XP here I am, in my living room, laughing my butt off in front of half my family--whom are staring at me like I'm from space.

This is literally the best poem I have ever read! It tops every list in the entire world!

Why did she name her boobs Cher and Ruth?! Totally fantastic. And when he grew moobs XD I was litterally "rotfl-ing"

Even though it was only a poem, I felt like it came to life with your word choice. I saw no errors!

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6 Reviews

Points: 365
Reviews: 6

Tue Jul 29, 2014 3:53 am
RandySavageElbowDrop wrote a review...

MargoSeuss, this was seriously the funniest poem I've ever read! This had me rolling on the floor laughing! I mean, all the references to boobs! What a great idea to a poem! The rhyming scheme was right one and you nailed this one on the head! I seriously have no problem with this poem. It was fantastic!
Dillbert, out

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47 Reviews

Points: 1131
Reviews: 47

Sat Jun 28, 2014 3:38 am
RoxieRain says...

Haha I totally laughed out loud because of this poem. I even told my friend and had her read and she was laughing too. Great poem, we loved it!
Keep up the great writing! :-)
-Roxie Rain

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530 Reviews

Points: 240
Reviews: 530

Thu Jun 26, 2014 10:38 am
Renard wrote a review...

Ok. So this work has already been thoroughly reviewed, which makes it difficult for me to find something new to say.
Also, I would hate to try and review this work seriously because it isn't really a serious subject. Well, I suppose it could be serious, but...

He told me he loved me…

But then he grew moobs.

I doubt that. XDDD

I don't know what inspired you to write this, but you take an airy attitude with this and make some valid points too me thinks:

So I made him some coffee,

With a hint of contraceptive.

You have a very unique/individual voice. :)

Keep using it.


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229 Reviews

Points: 3545
Reviews: 229

Tue Jun 17, 2014 5:31 pm
dogsrule5 says...

This to me was kind of weird, but it's kind of good.

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158 Reviews

Points: 3874
Reviews: 158

Tue Jun 17, 2014 1:08 am
Corncob says...

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! EXCELLENT RHYMING!! All I don't get is the cher and ruth part. Very good, perfect length. Awesome ending! Made me laugh so hard! You're talented!

MargoSeuss says...

Cher and Ruth are the names of the boobs.

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42 Reviews

Points: 100
Reviews: 42

Mon Jun 16, 2014 6:01 pm
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ElectraHeart says...

New favorite person award goes to you. New favorite poem award goes to this. Peeing my pants with laughter award also goes to this poem.

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65 Reviews

Points: 607
Reviews: 65

Mon Jun 16, 2014 4:01 pm
wtppowers says...

This is pure gold!

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84 Reviews

Points: 5736
Reviews: 84

Mon Jun 16, 2014 3:16 pm
fictionfanatic wrote a review...

Oh my God...I can't stop laughing at this xD This is definitely a new one for YWS hahahaha. I've never seen anything like it! It's absolutely hilarious and grabbed my attention from the very beginning hahaha. Wow, I can't even begin to review this hahaha. You definitely have a very distinctive voice and way of writing hahaha. Keep at it!

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287 Reviews

Points: 7596
Reviews: 287

Mon Jun 16, 2014 4:10 am
Moriah Leila says...

I don't think I have ever laughed at a poem before. That was pure genius. I can't wait to read more of your work.

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15 Reviews

Points: 556
Reviews: 15

Mon Jun 16, 2014 1:31 am
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CarbRundum says...


Welcome to YWS. Writing of all kinds.

Dat reply is my reaction. LOL

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159 Reviews

Points: 7867
Reviews: 159

Mon Jun 16, 2014 1:20 am
GreenLight24 says...

Hahahaha! This was amazing. You are already one of the best humor writers on this site! (I'm my opinion) Keep it up! ;D

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133 Reviews

Points: 1053
Reviews: 133

Sun Jun 15, 2014 5:00 pm
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YWS is growing up.

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20 Reviews

Points: 171
Reviews: 20

Sun Jun 15, 2014 4:21 pm
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Pamplemousse wrote a review...

Okay, this just made my day. Not even going to try to review this, because I'll just start laughing.

Okay, I will try. I think this poem would be even better than it already is if instead of "Those delicate booby shelves," you said, "Those over the shoulder boulder holders," because not only does it have internal rhyme, it's just really funny.

That's basically all I have to say, other than the fact that I know someone with moobs. It's weird but really funny.

Definitely keep writing, because this is hilarious.

Dying of laughter,


Okay, one more thing.


cleverclogs says...

"Over the shoulder boulder holder" has got to be the best thing I've ever heard.

My Auntie says it. I can't keep a straight face whenever she does though. XD

Pamplemousse says...

My sister told me it and I had to ask her to repeat it a couple of times before I realized what she meant. XD

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530 Reviews

Points: 240
Reviews: 530

Sun Jun 15, 2014 4:17 pm
Renard says...


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29 Reviews

Points: 408
Reviews: 29

Sun Jun 15, 2014 1:22 pm
xfabulisaa wrote a review...


This poem just blew me away. I had a good laugh x) It's been this long since I've read such a hilarious poem as this one. This just brightened up my day.

This deserved to be in the Spotlight! Loved it.

This sounded so sincere and the ending was unexpected. You totally have the power to grab the reader's attention in this intriguing poem. Keep it up! Love it to bits.

This'll probably be one of my favourite poems. Always gives me a good laugh every time I read it. x)

I'd love to see more. Keep writing!


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55 Reviews

Points: 240
Reviews: 55

Sun Jun 15, 2014 12:32 pm
puppys3117 wrote a review...

lol boobs :3 welcome to YWS *throws 5 dollars at and a cake*

okie I really enjoyed this piece. im strict with poetry and I don't review it if I don't like it, so you're a LUCKY DUCK :D I just had 1 question... what are tits and moobs XD

that's really all I have to say :3 not much of a review, huh?

Keep writing!

P.S. I am almost in a contest with you to see who will get on the top of the Literary Spotlight ;)

Em101cats says...

I hate to weird anybody out here, but tits are nipples and moobs are man boobs. Just saying

Em101cats says...

At least, I think so. Corrections are welcome if I'm wrong.

MargoSeuss says...

You are not.

puppys3117 says...

that made me crack up laughing :3

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120 Reviews

Points: 8686
Reviews: 120

Sun Jun 15, 2014 11:31 am
Brunnera wrote a review...

Your work is so original and sounds so sincere-- and most of all, despite all the humor it holds on to a bitter truth of some men in the world xD I just loved how it ended. The hatred of the narrator suddenly turned a humorous and mischievous twist! Holy shet, that was soooo unexpected. It's pleasant, HILARIOUS.

You DESERVE the Spotlight! Congrats!


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Points: 240
Reviews: 3

Sun Jun 15, 2014 7:52 am
moneypowerglory says...

This is HILARIOUS. You totally know how to grab the readers attention. The was great as well, and I loved that you made it all rhyme. The imagery helped make it laugh-out-loud funny. You're great, I hope you keep making funny poems!

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1220 Reviews

Points: 72525
Reviews: 1220

Sun Jun 15, 2014 5:09 am
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Kale wrote a review...

This is incredible and made me laugh so hard, partly because I was not expecting the poem to have this particular subject, but also because that repetition just made everything else so wonderfully absurd with the contrast between how serious declarations of love usually are... and boobs.

I also thoroughly approve of your use of the ballad form here. It makes the entire piece even more hilarious considering how ballads are often tragic tales of lost love, and this is indeed a tragic tale of lost love.

I could, I suppose, go on and make a big deal about how the ending very clearly illustrates an all-too common scenario of narcissistic love destroying romantic relationships, in addition to how this poem also clearly illustrates and is a commentary upon the shallowness of the modern dating milieu, but, honestly, I think this piece is best appreciated at face value, even if those interpretations could be reasonably read into this.

The ending is my favorite part. At first, I interpreted it as the narrator's revenge ironically backfiring because of the tragic aspect of most ballads, but reading as if she intended him to grow boobs and thus trap him in his own narcissistic absorption is also delicious and tragic in its own way.

All-in-all, a job well done, and I commend you for posting this.

Alpha says...

the boob poems must go on..

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17 Reviews

Points: 425
Reviews: 17

Sun Jun 15, 2014 4:49 am
MonaLisa211214 says...

That's really funny. Kind of weird and the ending was really funny. And at last people get how awful and sexist people are, especially towards women and there "titties".

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269 Reviews

Points: 208
Reviews: 269

Sat Jun 14, 2014 9:29 pm
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Gravity says...

I was laughing so hard because SOMEBODY FEELS MY PAIN! This was great. Please write more. Hahahaha great poem.


PS. My face hurts from laughing

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233 Reviews

Points: 19633
Reviews: 233

Sat Jun 14, 2014 11:24 am
Cithara says...

Oh my. Your poems are hilarious! Please post more :D

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1026 Reviews

Points: 119757
Reviews: 1026

Sat Jun 14, 2014 3:32 am
alliyah wrote a review...

Hey Margo, welcome to YWS! I'm here to leave a short review.
First I must say you do an excellent job with consistency, the humorous almost satirical tone is maintained the whole way through, you stay consistent with all of your capitalization choices, and the punctuation is right on key.

My only suggestions would be to consider breaking up the piece into stanzas with "He told me he loved me..." the first line of every stanza. Just to show the reader the repetition and to break it up a little. Also I'm not completely sure the use of ellipses adds very much except for maybe the fact that the speaker is trying to say more than what is written. Lastly, I'd suggest considering changing the rating up a notch instead of E for everyone as it currently is. Just so that no one can complain about the somewhat crude humor because they will already be prepared from the rating and can read at there own risk. Just suggestions. :)
Overall, nice piece and good luck with future works!

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416 Reviews

Points: 775
Reviews: 416

Sat Jun 14, 2014 2:50 am
Willard wrote a review...

Hey Margo! My name is Strange, and I sure have a review for you!
What got me was the title, because, well, boobs! The whole idea stood out, a poem about boobs for Christ sakes!
This was a pretty interesting poem because of the whole idea. Usually, this is a poem that has regards to feminism because why do men love girls? Exactly. You stepped over that line, and I can't tell if this is a subliminal message to feminism or just a fun poem.
Was it fun? Well, yes. It's a very truthful poem, because, a lot of males do love women for that part of the anatomy. You obviously had fun writing this. This did bring a smile to my face. Calling out a guy is one thing, but revenge is what I love! The idea is smart, slipping contraceptives into one's coffee, and they grow boobs! Now he doesn't love you, he loves himself. I'm taking this poem way too seriously if I am saying that this is a message to society, and I put more thought into this poem than I should have.
Overall, the theme, idea, Cher and Ruth, it was funny. I have to admit, I laughed.
The bad part about this poem is the repetitiveness of "He told me he loved me..." It feels like a CD playing over and over. Once you get over the bump, you're back on another bump. Thankfully, it wasn't bad. As for a humor poem, slightly crude (But who am I kidding, all I do is write Satire), enjoyable, and somewhat a statement.
Overall, this made me smile.
Strange gives you...
Good job,
Keep writing,
Stay groovy, my amigo.

MargoSeuss says...

I am surprised this poem got as popular as it did!! I honestly sat down and wrote the first thing that came to mind. There was no plan, no intention of delivering a message about society. I did not write this out of spite (I was never in a relationship). I wrote it for the purpose of amusement. Thank-you for reading!! :)

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Points: 370
Reviews: 1

Sat Jun 14, 2014 2:21 am
fanoffiction says...

I think I just peed my pants.

MargoSeuss says...

I'm glad you enjoyed this enough to soil your pants! :) Feel free to take a gander at my other works. You may want to consider a diaper while doing so! Haha!

That, sir, is the most frightening battlefield in the world: the blank page.
— Larry McMurtry, Comanche Moon