Fields Of Murder

Hello MargoSeuss! CHRISSY321 here with a review!

*Happy Review Day!*

I think that this was a awesome morbid poem! JUST THE WAY I LIKE IT! I just love the way you wrote the second stanza! When I read it, this is what went through my head! :

" She tore out your heart; she screwed your soul, (She will not leave you alone, torment forever!)

But YOU took her life, (It is your fault she is doing this- you killed her!)

And now she lies beneath the corn, (She lies where you put her, under the cornfield)

Your lovely wretched wife. " (You killed your wife, she shall prevail)


I can see this turning into like a great horror story or something! Just the way it is scary, I can imagine the wife coming back, unraveling the murder to the town- man, that would be good!

One more thing- I love the ending! The dead wife with now rest of stop his torment until he dies, of kills himself- priceless! I just love that, and the way you made it so sly... AMAZING!

Please keep writing- maybe you can use my idea of making this a story, if you do, send me the link! I shall be the first to review!

Hey Margo,

This was quite an interesting poem , I actually really liked it. It is not like any poem I've ever read which is a good thing. The first lines immediately captivate the readers' attention which the element of curiosity. However, The following line of the stanza is slightly confusing. I think that it would be better without 'If' at the start.

In the second stanza the phrase, 'She cheated your heart' made me stop since something is not right about it. Maybe 'played with' or 'manipulated your heart' would be better. However, I cannot say this since it depends on your intentions in the poem.

I absolutely love the last two stanzas especially the third one. I would only suggest to watch out for punctuation. Although this poem is quite flowing, punctuation will help to set up the tone and make it more presentable.


Of course, this was only my perspective so feel free to ignore my comments if you do not agree. However, I really hope that this review is beneficial.

Great job!
Thanks for sharing this poem.

This is one of the best poems I have read in my entire life! Holy crap!!! Keep up the AMAZING work!!!

Woah. Let me just say that.

I only have a couple nitpicks, and then I will SHOWER YOU IN COMPLIMENTS.

"You had to bury her too," You need a comma before 'too'

I would normally mention your lack of end punctuation, but, honestly, I think it works well with this poem, so good job!

"She’ll haunt your fields forever more," 'forevermore' is one word

Okay! Well let me just say a few things. I loved the creepiness, which seems to be what a lot of people like about this. I love how you portray the morbid truth. Your imagery, metaphors, and diverse, creative wording is amazing. It makes this poem individual, helps it stand out. I love what you've created here and how you created it. Fantastic!

Good Day!
-Pendr

Darn! That is quite chilling! Love the use of language! Especially the last stanza nicely wraps up the entire poem! Great work! I was looking for a good horror poem I enjoy reading those kind of things! Maybe one that's even darker haha, something that would make the reader not be able to sleep! Maybe a bit more details on what the wife looked like before she was murdered so the reader can picture the transition between life and death! Just a tip:) Keep me updated when you write a new one

Hey! Tigerlilly here for a review!

Wow! This is really great! I cant help but wonder where you got the inspiration for this... Its a really good poem.

I really like the second stanza, I'm not sure why, but it really caught my eye. I guess it was just because no matter how much people hurt you, its not always okay to strike back, if that makes sense. I really like the title, because it goes really well with the poem. The rhymes were well done, which is really good, because they sometimes get annoying if you aren't careful.

Overall, this was a really good poem. Well done!

Wicked! I LOVED it! somehow it reminded me of something you'd read or hear during the Halloween season or something you'd see sprawled on the bathroom walls in bloody print in a locker in a scary movie. This is really cool! it's so creepy and scary! Bravo! You did a great job on this! The rhyming made it even better if you ask me! -IceWinifredd

Hey, I really enjoyed this poem! It felt like dark humour to me, but maybe it was plain old dark and I'm just twisted. The second stanza was absolutely brilliant and had a really good rhythm to it all the way through- absolutely lovely. My only issue was that the rhyming in the first stanza felt rather forced- "Peru" seemed to be thrown in to make it work and this was off-putting right at the start of the poem. I also liked the slightly timeless, placeless sense of the poem and referencing running away to Peru sort of took that away. "Her harvested head will hang on your chest" is another line which I particularly like, and I love the whole sense that he is eventually going to have to kill himself because of this at the end. I'm interested who the narrator is- it's not death itself, and it's not the dead wife or the murderer... the "if i told you once, i told you twice" line suggests it's an actual person talkign to him...