His slime is crusty, corpulent with goo.
He’s a glutton who gorges on rancid stew.
Fingernails and boogers that slip down the drain,
Become one with his flesh; his life is arcane.
-
A basilisk who bathes in the sludge of the sewer,
His odor malevolent: the stench of manure.
The demon doth possess your kitchen sink,
His belching bulk besmirching your drink.
-
Call forth the plumber; the exorcist of pipe,
To banish this devil of grit and of tripe.
T’way! T’way! from the creature’s jowls,
The exorcist doth enter it’s stinking bowels.
-
Flee from your township; escape the drudge,
Never return to the Demon of Sludge.
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139,290 Literary Works • 672,524 Reviews
Hi there! Scarlet here to review!
I wasn't really laughing at first but when it got too the 3rd paragraph I found it really funny.
The third sentenced grossed me out a bit, I cringed. That's good though, I did enjoy the poem and I found it humorous and Interesting also Unique and Different.
You did a decent job on this and if I had to rate it from 1-10.
You'd get about a 7 1/2
It wasn't too bad, though I wished I could've read more, but overall I enjoyed it and it was funny. Now I'll go over my impression of this.
His slime is crusty, corpulent with goo.
He’s a glutton who gorges on rancid stew.
Fingernails and boogers that slip down the drain,
Become one with his flesh; his life is arcane.
(In my head this tells me he's disgusting and villainess, and potentially evil. I like the words used to describe the demon very vivid.)
-
A basilisk who bathes in the sludge of the sewer,
His odor malevolent: the stench of manure.
The demon doth possess your kitchen sink,
His belching bulk besmirching your drink.
(This I feel stresses about the creatures being, again very good figurative language.)
-
Call forth the plumber; the exorcist of pipe,
To banish this devil of grit and of tripe.
T’way! T’way! from the creature’s jowls,
The exorcist doth enter it’s stinking bowels.
(I found this part funny especially 'Call forth the plumber; the exorcist of pipe')
-
Flee from your township; escape the drudge,
Never return to the Demon of Sludge.
(It reveals what exactly the creature is the ending is well thought-out.)
This has earned you a like and a follow. One of the best poems I've read all day. I like how professional and experienced this poem is. Really nice!
Sincerely, @ScarletDreams14; Member of Salsa Verde
Writer, Artist, Student and Reader
Hello.
I remember reading this, but it turned out I never got round to reviewing it. I'm glad I did, because I am excited about trying to interpret this.
This stanza suggests to me that this creature is the villain. Some sort of greedy demon. Very ugly as well.
I don't know whether this is a literal Basilisk? Or a metaphorical one? Obviously it's a monster. But I don't know in what form.
Ewww. I noticed you mentioned about the smell of fecal matter being offensive in response to one of your previous reviews. So it is interesting you would use that imagery here. Ha ha. I like it though and the archaic style of language makes it seem more authentic.
Now I know what the Demon is; and is literal. Ok. This again seems like one of those old Hollywood monster movies. Very traditional.
Renard, I am so thankful for all of these reviews you've been leaving! You try to understand what it is I am saying in my works. This is something few people try to do when reviewing. Thank-you, sir!
*Madam actually.
Nice!
WOW!!
I absolutely loved all the description in this work. I loved everything . the title really intrigued me and made me want to click and read. once I read I couldn't stop. the way you made the plumber seem as if he was getting rid of a foul beast was excellent. my favorite part was
"The exorcist doth enter it’s stinking bowels.
Flee from your township; escape the drudge,
Never return to the Demon of Sludge."
this made me laugh a little great job over all
Why thank-you. It's amazing where inspiration can come from.
*claps* who could resist a piece with such a title! This piece certainly lived up to my expectations!
It needs stanzification though. I don't know if this is you or a mistake in yws formating but the gaps are quite obvious: A new stanza every four lines is required.
Also the last line confuddles me a bit. Surely the whole poem is about or addresed to the deamon of sludge, yet the last line refers to it, leaving me wondering to whom that last line is addressed. Perhaps change it to "Never return, oh deamon of sludge."
Apart from this this poem was truly wonderful. The grammer, rhyme and rhythm were all spot on, and it is really nice to see a poem that isn't about love, death or depression.
Take That You Fiend!
The poem is addressed to the person who has the "demon of sludge" in their plumbing. I'm glad you relished in this poem.