The Ectoplasm in My Fridge

In my fridge there is a goo,
A sort of creamy, oozing stew.
It sits and congeals,
Next to the meals,
That later I was going to chew.

-
I do not know how begotten was this goo,
As the food that I eat produces no glue.
Could this slime that I am seeing,
Indicate the presence of another being?
A being who leaves behind a sweet smelling dew?

-
Yes, indeed, the manufacturer of the goo,
Must be a ghost; this conclusion must be true!
This phantom likes the most,
My tender chicken roasts,
This ectoplasm is, truly, the defining clue.

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Points: 1166
Reviews: 35

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Wed Jul 02, 2014 4:00 pm

Nica wrote a review...

Heya! Victorianbeauty here to give a review Okay, first thing off the bat, I just want to say that this is amazing! Just bloody brilliant! I swear that this is what goes through my head when I empty the fridge on Saturday and I find that the soup from last year has come to life. I really love the line:

Could this slime that I am seeing,
Indicate the presence of another being?
A being who leaves behind a sweet smelling dew?

Well, maybe that's not a line, but yeah. I love it! It kind of goes along with how my soup comes to life on the weekends

Now down to the nitpicks...... drum roll

It sits and congeals,
Next to the meals,
That later I was going to chew.

So here I noticed that you seem to love commas. Usually, commas are used to separate sub-thoughts in a main thought. But in this case, there aren't that many sub-thoughts. For example:

It sits and congeals,
Next to the meals,

The comma after 'congeals' is sort of unnecessary, as it breaks up your thought too much and makes the verse too "choppy".

I do not know how begotten was this goo,
As the food that I eat produces no glue.

Here I thought that you were a bit inconsistent. You spend the entire piece describing how the food is a goo, slime, a creamy, oozing stew. Then all of a sudden, it's a glue, which is not gooey at all.

This phantom likes the most,
My tender chicken roasts,
This ectoplasm is, truly, the defining clue.

I didn't really understand the last line in this verse or how it pertained to the rest of the piece. How is it a defining clue and what is it a clue to?

Could this slime that I am seeing,
Indicate the presence of another being?
A being who leaves behind a sweet smelling dew?

I laughed here just because it was such a perfect example of dry humor. I mean, what rot is ever like a "sweet smelling dew"?

Okay, now that I've ripped this thing to shreds and acted like it was a very serious piece, I will just stop.

I hope this review helps. Again, I love this piece and might even go into "fan-girl mode" over it!

Sorry if I was a bit too nit-picky.

~victorianbeauty

MargoSeuss says...

I'm thrilled you enjoyed this! You are right, the commas don't need to be there. I use commas at the end of a line to indicate that each line is part of the same phrase or sentence. Perhaps, they do make the stanzas seem choppy. I never really thought about them that way. Ectoplasm is a goo that ghosts leave behind. The poem is suggesting that the mysterious goo in your fridge is ectoplasm from a phantom who is eating your food! This is what I meant when I said that the goo was the defining clue (the clue pointing to a fridge dwelling spirit)! I've always imagined glue as being gooey and goopy (especially the paste that kids eat in school). Thanks for you review!

victorianbeauty says...

I did not know that ghosts leave behind goo! I'll have to remember that lol

MargoSeuss says...

Yes, it's called ectoplasm.

Points: 861
Reviews: 9

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Sun Jun 29, 2014 1:00 am

KathrynLane wrote a review...

This was awesome you added just the right touch of humor to make it funny, but not overdone! I particulary liked the first stanza (is that what you call it? I mean paragraph.) the last line, "that later I was going to chew." Is great it's just so silly, but it makes sense at the same time, brilliant! And "as the food i eat produces no glue!" Freaking amazing! You have an awesome way of writing poetry! Well done and thanks

Points: 692
Reviews: 1

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Sun Jun 29, 2014 12:52 am

KellyAdrielScott says...

Points: 25731
Reviews: 104

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Sun Jun 29, 2014 12:36 am

JayeCShore wrote a review...

Hi, J.C. here for a review!

In my fridge there is a goo,
A sort of creamy, oozing stew.
It sits and congeals,
Next to the meals,
That later I was going to chew.

You definitely have a whimsical way of writing poetry. All of your poems are-at least the ones I've read-similar to this in that sense. You also always come up with the strangest topics, which makes your poems interesting.

Also, because this is "wet humor," it's good that you haven't used lots of big, fancy words or explanations, which can and will ruin a piece such as this.

A being who leaves behind a sweet smelling dew?

This got me to chuckle just a bit because leftovers are surely anything but "sweet smelling."

Yes, indeed, the manufacturer of the goo,
Must be a ghost; this conclusion must be true!
This phantom likes the most,
My tender chicken roasts,
This ectoplasm is, truly, the defining clue.

Dare I say, this is almost witty. Using "ectoplasm" to explain and rationalize this goo in your fridge is a fun way of thinking, and definitely out of the ordinary.

In the end, it was worth the read, but the unfortunate part is that that is where it ends. I'm not being harsh about this either, but this is how I think of Dr. Seuss' works. Yah, it was fun to read, but I'm never going to read it again, and I gained nothing from it.

This isn't necessarily a bad thing, though, because sometimes we just need something to read for no other reason. And at the same time, I have a dry, cynical, witty sense of humor, so this sort of thing just doesn't appeal to me as much.

Thank you MargoSuess!

#D65F54 ">- JC -

#TheFaultInOurReviews

MargoSeuss says...

I'm sorry this isn't your sort of read. I can see, alot of you folks are into the deep symbolic stuff. If you like dry humour, check out my series Undertakings of an Undertaker. Thanks for the review, nonetheless.

Points: 500
Reviews: 417

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Sun Jun 29, 2014 12:35 am

Willard wrote a review...

Hey, yo, MargoSeuss. Strange here on this fantastic Review Day and I have a review for you!
This was actually, well, interesting. I understand that I shouldn't take "humor poetry" so strict and serious. That's reviewing for ya! You have to take it serious. Now, I'm not going to bag on this like I did on True Love, because, well, I realized how you handle humor poetry.
See, the stanzas in this are extremely simple. EXTREMELY simple. It also has over the top words and silly subjects. Now, I have a more mature humor than this, but looking through the lines, and having common sense, I realized something that made me smile.
You live up to your last name. Seuss.
Yes, Seuss. I feel weird saying this, but I'm pretty sure you have a lot of Seuss in your blood, and I really like that. Seuss is one of our greatest poets, or kids book authors. The humor in this is flat out silly, and immature. It's just, simple minded. Though, you kind of set the reader up for that. What do I say about the poem overall? It's a lot like your other poems, just slightly more formal, nonetheless sillier. Quick question, just a request from the reviewer, is there any chance you can turn into more of a multiple trick pony? See, you do have a humor talent that isn't in my range, but you sure do have some potential.
Overall, good job.
Strange gives you..
6,8/10
Good job,
Keep writing,
Stay groovy, my friend.

#TheFaultInOurReviews

MargoSeuss says...

I write poetry about other more serious topics, too, Strange. I just haven't posted any of it! Perhaps I shall. I also write short stories. I write 'simple' poetry because everyone can understand simple poetry! Who doesn't like a good Seuss poem?! Cat in the hat is the simplest of poems, and yet it is probably the most well known poem out there! At the end of the day when my mind needs a break, I sit down and write something absurd and yes..juvenile.

Willard says...

Well, I would love to see the more serious poems. I thought you would possibly hate me for some reason, I don't know why.
And that's good.

MargoSeuss says...

What I hate is the smell of fecal matter.

Willard says...

I'm sorry, but I can't tell whether that is a funny comment, which it did make me laugh, or a blatant insult.

MargoSeuss says...

It was a statement. I stated something that I hate: the smell of fecal matter. The smell of bile, wet gangrene, and cat urine are equally abhorrent to me.

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The Ectoplasm in My Fridge

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