Travis

by erilea

Published December 2, 2016

In Greek Mythology Poetry

I think I spend my life laughing.

It's a hobby of mine.

Besides, it doesn't cost anything and it's worth the effort.


My father is the jack of all trades,

The master of none,

But I do know how to get a laugh.


I might not be the best at swordfighting.

I might not have any special powers.

Still, I think a sense of humor helps.

Comments & reviews · 2
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Virgil
Review
Virgil wrote a review Review · Dec 3, 2016

This is Kaos here for a review!

So, I've been seeing these poems popping up from you and wanted to take a shot at one of them because I usually don't try and review things related to fanfiction, but I'm giving it a go because of that. From what I understand, the character that you're writing about wasn't or didn't actually appear much in the books that this was based on? At least, that's from what I'm understanding. This is something that interests me and I like the idea that it's you filling in the rest of the character rather than choosing some main one that gets a lot of coverage.

I disregarded the warning on purpose to critique the actual poem. And that's one of the points that I want to make; this may be fanfiction, but how does this hold up as an actual work? Does it still use poetic devices and act like a poem? Some parts here, yes. I'm assuming Travis is the speaker here since that makes the most sense, but I wanted to touch on your italics. They're probably just a stylistic choice from you but I didn't know if they actually meant or added anything to the poem, like if it was the character talking or anything of the sort.

I thought that this poem was cute for what it was, but it didn't really do anything special or something that I haven't really seen before. We see that this character likes to lighten the mood with humor and that they're not really good at anything. I wish there was more emotional impact on the latter because those things are or can be relatable things that would help bring a better connection from the poem to the reader, and that's something I found lacking.

The poem didn't really have any emotional weight behind it for me and didn't really have any sincerity? The tone of it felt sentimental or awkward to me, I thought. There's a lack of imagery in this poem but I won't touch on that too much; describe things to create the atmosphere of the poem better and to set the tone.

Experiment, write, read, edit. Hope I helped.

erilea replied · Dec 3, 2016

This is just a little attempt from me. It isn't really something to try critiquing or adding in stuff (like imagery or emotions or stuff like that). Travis here isn't all that sad about not having much skills. He knows that it's true--it's what his dad (Hermes) is known for. So thanks for the review! :D

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Dracula
Review
Dracula wrote a review Review · Dec 3, 2016

The first stanza: This was probably the weakest part of the poem. The twisted metaphor just isn't that powerful, unfortunately. I get what you're saying, and it's very Travis-ty, but it doesn't have a lasting impact on me.
The second stanza: I love the 'jack of all trades but master of none' part. It sums up not only his dad but Travis too. Travis may not be perfect at anything (except jokes) and he admits that in the third stanza, but he's sort of just 'okay' at everything and doesn't let anyone boss him around.
The third stanza: This is my favourite. The last line sums everything up. It's also very casual in tone as well, like I'm just swaggering along, don't mind me. Anyway, great work. :D



I only know that learning to believe in the power of my own words has been the most freeing experience of my life. It has brought me the most light. And isn't that what a poem is? A lantern glowing in the dark.
— Elizabeth Acevedo, The Poet X