Charybdis

by erilea

Published November 22, 2015

In Greek Mythology Poetry

She's her own whirlpool

swirling to swallow the sea,

then spitting it out.

.

Sailors row in vain.

Look out, Charybdis is here!

But she must still eat.

.

When she has her meal,

she lets the ocean go calm,

but will eat again.

Comments & reviews · 2
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penfeme
Review
penfeme wrote a review Review · Nov 23, 2015

Hi, this is very nice and I like the title (I have a thing for Greek mythology).
I like the simplistic yet warning feeling I get from this poem. The personification of Charybdis is appealing as well, especially in lines like:

"When she has her meal,
she lets the ocean go calm,
but will eat again."

If I have any criticism at all, it would be to expound in description of Charybdis swallowing the sea (oh my I love that name - is that weird considering it's a sea monster?). However, that's just what I would do if it were my poem because I'm a very detail-oriented person when it comes to writing. So maybe you could just re-word some of the lines so that they are more descriptive? That being said, I still like the simplicity. :)

User avatar
felistia
Review
felistia wrote a review Review · Nov 23, 2015

Hi Artemis28, Felistia here again with a short review on your poem.
I love the poem even though it is a bit short. I think you could make it a little bigger, but that's your decision.

I do have a small nit-pick. The last line (but will eat again.) I think would be better written like this (but will feed again.) because you already used eat in this line (But she must still eat.) Still that is you decision.

Over all I really liked it. Thank you for a lovely read. I hope to see more work from you soon which I probably will. Never stop writing and I hope you have a great day\night.



If I seem to wander, if I seem to stray, remember that true stories seldom take the straightest way.
— Patrick Rothfuss, The Name of the Wind