Silena

by erilea

Published December 7, 2016

In Greek Mythology Poetry

Aphrodite isn't the best goddess to have

As a parent.

The expectations are staggering.

I learned how to live with them

Until I didn't live anymore.

(The secret is to fight them the best you can

In what you do.)

I've learned many things from being a child of Aphrodite:

1) Bravery isn't just meant for Ares kids or Zeus's children.

There's also a special type of bravery in heartbreak.

2) It's a much better job to make a heart whole

Than to snap it in two.

3) Breaking a heart

Is much easier than putting one back together.

I should know.

Comments & reviews · 3
DragonWriter22 wrote a review Review · Dec 8, 2016

I really like this poem! Just like in the other pjo based poems, you managed to capture the essence of the character and her story line. Personally I don't think it needs more than you've already done, though perhaps there might be a few lines that could be worded to be more powerful and flow better.

The first is:

Bravery isn't just meant for Ares kids or Zeus's children.


I think the flow could be improved if it was changed to "Bravery isn't just meant for the children of Ares or Zeus"

And then there's the follow up line:

There's also a special type of bravery in heartbreak.


This could be shortened to: "There's a special type of bravery in heartbreak"

Other than that I absolutely love the poem and as mentioned by a previous reviewer, I love the listing. These are just a few word changes that I feel could improve the flow, but the poem is still really good the way it is. The first line in particular is a less important change and there is a cadence in the way it already is worded, so feel free to leave it the same if you'd prefer. The second line is simply omitting a word, but I feel like it could really make the line more powerful.

Anyway, keep up the good work with all of these pjo character poems! I love reading them and I love how you really capture the soul of the characters in your work.

User avatar
Dracula
Review
Dracula wrote a review Review · Dec 8, 2016

No, this is a nice length! Not too long at all. Just one nitpick, but overall I love it. I especially love the list in the second half, it's a clever, unusual touch. I've learned many things from being a demigod child of Aphrodite: I don't think you need to say 'demigod', it flows better without it. The poem is so meaningful, and the last line is a little heartbreaking. Love it!

User avatar
tyl3rdirden Comment
tyl3rdirden commented Comment · Dec 7, 2016

this is very nice great job but maybe add a little bit more



For in everything it is no easy task to find the middle ... anyone can get angry—that is easy—or give or spend money; but to do this to the right person, to the right extent, at the right time, with the right motive, and in the right way, that is not for everyone, nor is it easy; wherefore goodness is both rare and laudable and noble.
— Aristotle