z

Young Writers Society



Silena

by erilea


Aphrodite isn't the best goddess to have

As a parent.

The expectations are staggering.

I learned how to live with them

Until I didn't live anymore.

(The secret is to fight them the best you can

In what you do.)

I've learned many things from being a child of Aphrodite:

1) Bravery isn't just meant for Ares kids or Zeus's children.

There's also a special type of bravery in heartbreak.

2) It's a much better job to make a heart whole

Than to snap it in two.

3) Breaking a heart

Is much easier than putting one back together.

I should know.


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49 Reviews


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Reviews: 49

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Thu Dec 08, 2016 4:52 am
DragonWriter22 wrote a review...



I really like this poem! Just like in the other pjo based poems, you managed to capture the essence of the character and her story line. Personally I don't think it needs more than you've already done, though perhaps there might be a few lines that could be worded to be more powerful and flow better.

The first is:

Bravery isn't just meant for Ares kids or Zeus's children.


I think the flow could be improved if it was changed to "Bravery isn't just meant for the children of Ares or Zeus"

And then there's the follow up line:

There's also a special type of bravery in heartbreak.


This could be shortened to: "There's a special type of bravery in heartbreak"

Other than that I absolutely love the poem and as mentioned by a previous reviewer, I love the listing. These are just a few word changes that I feel could improve the flow, but the poem is still really good the way it is. The first line in particular is a less important change and there is a cadence in the way it already is worded, so feel free to leave it the same if you'd prefer. The second line is simply omitting a word, but I feel like it could really make the line more powerful.

Anyway, keep up the good work with all of these pjo character poems! I love reading them and I love how you really capture the soul of the characters in your work.




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Thu Dec 08, 2016 2:49 am
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Dracula wrote a review...



No, this is a nice length! Not too long at all. Just one nitpick, but overall I love it. I especially love the list in the second half, it's a clever, unusual touch. I've learned many things from being a demigod child of Aphrodite: I don't think you need to say 'demigod', it flows better without it. The poem is so meaningful, and the last line is a little heartbreaking. Love it!




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Wed Dec 07, 2016 10:55 pm
tyl3rdirden says...



this is very nice great job but maybe add a little bit more





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