Young Writers Society

Feels feels feels feels

The first two lines are very strong and emotionally impacting. You could title this 'Unknown PJ Character' and I would instantly know it's about Zoe just from those first lines. It also brings a beautiful image into my mind, of this girl beaming up at the stars as they twirl around her, pulling her in.

The last two lines of the first stanza aren't as powerful, though I still like them. I can't imagine Zoe speaking like this (it's almost like she's saying duh) but that's just how I came to know her character, other readers probably feel differently.

The second stanza is brilliant, I love the repetition. I especially love how you used past tense for the things she was when alive, and 'thought' (present tense) to talk about her star-life. It's a minor detail that has a major impact.

This is followed into the last stanza, with I am. I imagine her saying that line with real authority, it's great. I'm not sure about the middle line- I think Zoe is the 'never say never' kind of person, but it still makes sense. And the ending is beautiful. That's all I've got to say.

Keep these coming!

Hi there Artemis, it's Gymnast2801 here with a review!

First off, I saw Zoe Nightshade and I was hooked because I've read almost all of the books by Rick Riordan. And second, I love your username! Artemis is one of my favorites too

Chasing the prey I can never get,
I feel like 'get' isnt the best description you could use here. It's too simple and normal for this awesome poem! Maybe try something like catch.

Otherwise, I think this poem was fabulous!! Having read all about Zoe Nightshade, I get a special insight and I loved it! Zoe Nightshade was one of my favorite characters and I'm glad that someone write a poem about her! I think your grammar was great and it all flowed nicely except for the part I pointed out.

Overall, wonderful job and please keep on writing!
-Gymnast2801 signing out.

P.S. Wow, your eleven and you write this well?!? That's insane! Great job!