Caught in a web of despair,
she spins
twirling silver threads until she doesn't know
right from wrong.
.
Her pride brought her down, and now
she spins
weaving her envy and rage
into her webs.
.
She belittled the gods
and vanity tore her tapestries to pieces, but still
she spins
wanting to take revenge on the ones she laughed at
so long ago.
.
Day after day,
with nothing else to do,
she spins
until the silver threads are broken and
she starts over.
.
Her endless task is more than just a punishment--
it's a reminder, and
she still spins
because she didn't know
what was right from wrong.
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139,305 Literary Works • 672,528 Reviews
Hello! Tigerlilly here to review on this fine review day!
I really enjoyed the concept of this poem! It's very intriguing for such a short poem, and the way it's structured works really well. One thing I would change is the punctuation. For some odd reason, when I read this, I want to pause dramatically at the end of every first line. I feel like there should be a comma or something there to give me a reason to pause. Maybe that's just me, though.
Anyways, other than that one thing, I really don't have much to nitpick on. I really like the poem the way it is. I'd give it a 9/10. Have a nice day, and keep writing. I look forward to reading more of your works.
Hi Artemis28, Felistia here with a short review on your poem.
Firstly I just love the poem and everything about it. The concept, the description, the emotion, all that. The only problem I find is the lay out and that could just be me.
You wrote the first lines like this
(Caught in a web of dispair,
she spins
twirling silver threads until she doesn't know
right from wrong.)
I find that it would work better written like this
(Caught in a web of dispair, she spins
twirling silver threads until she doesn't know right from wrong.) I find my self reading it like this. Just an idea.
Also I think you meant to right dispair like this despair. Just a mild spelling mistake.
Over all I really liked this poem, well done. I hope to see more of your work soon. Have a great day\night.
I usually have my stanzas as four lines, and I didn't want to break the 'tradition'. But thanks for the review!