Young Writers Society

Ooh I really like this! As a history fan, I completely agree with the message of this poem. I really like the phrase

"The scroll that is history,
that lead to this day,
Is neither black or white,
But many shades of grey."

I think a lot of people have a very black-and-white view of history - this person was good, this person was bad, this event was good, this event was bad, etc. - which really isn't true, and I think you really encompassed that idea in your poem. Great job!

Hi there, Ellie-Mae here for a quick review!

Wishing you a happy day/evening/morning/night/whatever is applicable to your part of the world! First off, please remember that my reviews are my own opinions I’ll give honest feedback, but nothing at all is intended to hurt or discourage you in any way at all! <3 So, without waiting any longer, let’s get right into it and digest the spectabulous piece of literary work!

thank you for writing this. it is beautiful and filled with passion. my favourite part was:

"The scroll that is history,

That lead to this day,

Is neither black or white,

But many shades of grey."

you're awesome.

Ellie-mae

I love this! I love how you point out that history can be either good, bad, or (as I interpret 'muddy') gross and dirty. History is very much many things, and your phrasing encapsulates it just right.

The second part may be my favorite, if not the last part. The rhyme fits so perfectly with the message. It tells how big an event such as slavery is.

Your last part of the poem was very intelligently written, and spoke about history in a way I surprisingly haven't ever thought of.

Overall, your poem feels like a very wise form of the truth of history, and your 'up to down' formatting of the poem adds a very important feeling to it. It wouldn't feel quite the same if written in the way that poems normally come in. I've learned something here!

10/10 nice as hell.

(Sorry if my review isn't like the others. It's hard for me to identify why something is good or bad quite like others can)

Hi! Kari here with a review! Oml I loved this song much!

'While some is pristine,

Some’s covered in mud.'

I think this lines my favorite it just flows so well, the rythem of this peom is just *chefs kiss* ya know? Perfect!

I love that you say scroll iv never thought if it like that, its so fresh ya know?

"The scroll that is history,

That lead to this day,

Is neither black or white,

But many shades of grey. "

This is also a favorite part! Its just so powerful!

I don't really have any criticism but you have a lovely day/night! ❤

Hi! Kari here with a review! Oml I loved this song much!

'While some is pristine,

Some’s covered in mud.'

I think this lines my favorite it just flows so well, the rythem of this peom is just *chefs kiss* ya know? Perfect!

I love that you say scroll iv never thought if it like that, its so fresh ya know?

I don't really have any criticism for you but have a lovely day/night! ❤

I love this poem, Lizzy!

Good morning/ afternoon/ evening/ night/ or whatever time it may be! Wren here for a review! @TheWordsOfWolf was correct, I love this poem! Your references to both ancient slavery and the times we live in today were on point! I loved the rhythm and rhyming of this poem as well! Thank you and keep up the fantastic work!

Hi, Wolf here, due to an unfortunate juggling accident I've forgotten my standard greeting anyway. This poem was simply amazing. You're title is what originally drew me in it was captivating and as it is said, jumped off the page, or rather the screen. In such a short poem you have managed to say what even the longest history books fail to teach and all that you said was completely true.

@WrenZorya get over here and read this

In closing remarks, this was amazing keep up the great work.


As always,
Wolf

Hi!
I really enjoyed your poem.

Some observations that I made:

You repeated the title (which is also the metaphor of the poem) "The scroll that is history" on the first line of every stanza, by doing this you are creating repetition. Repetition is really helpful as it helps draw the readers attention to that thought/idea and aids in reinforcing the concept by generating greater focus and intensifying the meaning. I think it created a great structure for the poem.

I loved the last part

"The scroll that is history,

That lead to this day,

Is neither black or white,

Only many shades of grey."

I feel like it creates a perfect way to sum up the thousands of years of history. Instead of confining it to a certain perspective. History, and life is never truly good or bad - black or white - its gray.

I really, really love this.

First of all, your rhyme scheme and the rhythm is amazing. However, the final line "Only many shades of grey" seems a tiny bit too long, so may you could say something like "But many shades of grey" instead. But other than that, your poem does a fantastic job of drawing the reader along.

The message of the poem is also really important, and it's something I personally don't think gets talked about enough. History is often portrayed as being black and white, with clear "good guys" and "bad guys" and a ton of people we just ignore. But your poem calls attention to the parts of history that are tainted and "splattered with blood."

I also really appreciate how it calls attention to slavery (I'm guessing slavery in the US and the Atlantic slave trade based on your word choice, but slavery has existed in many cultures with varying degrees of brutality, and some forms of slavery still do exist, so it's flexible) which is a part of history that had been sanitized and often attempted to justify for many years, but fortunately, that is beginning to end.

Just a couple of grammar things: in the second stanza "where" should probably be "were," and in the third stanza "lead" should be either "leads" (if present tense) or "led" (if past tense).

Otherwise, this poem is fantastic and I really love the themes you've explored! Great job! ^-^

Hi. This is my first review on this website 😁. I really like the poem as it eloquently summarize what history, mainly human history is all about the immoral actions of people in the past who didn't knew better that severely serves as a reminder to the next generation that like your poem said, life is not just black or white, history is not just black or white but many shades of gray and that creates chances for people in the future to be open. To change and that's really beautiful. 🙂