Young Writers Society

Home » Literary works » Poetry » Dramatic

16+ Violence

Broken World

by LizzyTyler


Warning: This work has been rated 16+ for violence.

The stars fall from the sky,

As the Universe shakes the dew from it’s fur.

~

The sky crashes to the waves,

Fragments of blue shattering the noise from the earth.

~

Silence.

     ~

              Silence.
                   ~

                           Silence.
                                ~

The sun sets on a broken world,

Staining the splintered sky red with the blood of it’s inhabitants.


Note: You are not logged in, but you can still leave a comment or review. Before it shows up, a moderator will need to approve your comment (this is only a safeguard against spambots). Leave your email if you would like to be notified when your message is approved.







Is this a review?


  

Comments



User avatar
7 Reviews


Points: 178
Reviews: 7

Donate
Mon Jul 26, 2021 4:28 pm
Katem_277 wrote a review...



I really love how you have portrayed the universe. Painting it as some form of animal is something I have never seen before.


Your writing is so gorgeous and descriptive and it really brings the poem to life. I especially liked "fragments of blue shattering the noise of the Earth" and felt myself rereading it over and over.

Overall the poem is amazing! You're an excellent writer, keep up the good work :)




LizzyTyler says...


Thanks!



User avatar
34 Reviews


Points: 234
Reviews: 34

Donate
Sun Jul 25, 2021 1:09 am
View Likes
JohnKlue wrote a review...



wow this is something Thought-Provoking.
The description makes me recall Norse Mythology. "As the Universe shakes the dew from IT IS fur."
yeah this feels like a Ragnorok. This is short but still very powerful. However I do not think this needed to be 16+. Kids around 12 could probably handle this.

overall this is good.




LizzyTyler says...


Thank you for your kind review! I suppose it wouldn%u2019t need to be 16 , but I wanted to be more safe than sorry. Again, thanks for the review!



User avatar


Points: 73
Reviews: 1

Donate
Sat Jul 24, 2021 8:15 pm
Engel Falke wrote a review...



I like that you have the Universe portrayed as a large beast (I'm guessing a wolf?). This is a very interesting concept. I like "The sky crashes to the waves, Fragments of blue shattering the noise from the earth." this is what truly drew me in, even if it was short, and I liked it nonetheless. I've looked over some of you stuff and it all seems well done, I think one of my favorites might be "Scars". You are the type of person that people will look up to even if you don't want them to (at least that is what I get from your work) and it is possible you don't know people are.

Have a good day!




LizzyTyler says...


Thanks for the review. Scars is one of my favorites as well!




Today I bent the truth to be kind, and I have no regret, for I am far surer of what is kind than I am of what is true.
— Robert Brault