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16+ Mature Content

Time heals (longer version)

by L0ca1Tes1a


Warning: This work has been rated 16+ for mature content.

They say time heals all wounds. What they don't say is how long it takes to heal.

The wounds from falling off your bike. Time heals all wounds.

The wounds from falling while playing Tag. Time heals all wounds.

They don't say how much it hurts to heal. 

The wounds from your parents yelling. Time heals all wounds.

The wounds from the bullies. Time heals all wounds.

They don't say you might need help to heal.

The wounds passed down in your blood. Time heals all wounds.

The wounds from yourself. Time heals all wounds.

They say time heals all wounds. But at what cost?


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197 Reviews

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Fri May 31, 2024 4:15 am
Moonlily wrote a review...



Hello hello, I hope you dont mind me popping in with a quick review. Thank you for letting me know you posted a longer version sorry for not reading it right away. Please don't be offended when I say it is already a big upgrade from the shorter version. The lines have a lot more impact and I find the themes relatable. Its simple but effective in a way that can be hard to pull off at times. I would also like to say thank you for keeping feedback in mind.

Speaking of feedback that I could be wrong about in this ling I don't know if you need to capitalize tag. "The wounds from falling while playing Tag. Time heals all wounds."

I haven't looked up so you could be right and I could be wrong but it's the only thing that I would pinpoint for feedback.

As always keep writing and drink water!




L0ca1Tes1a says...


Thank you! I love to look at reviews so I can find ways to improve. Yes you are right I did not mean to capitalize tag I just get confused sometimes and rush when typing. I'm glad you like this version!



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Thu May 30, 2024 10:18 pm
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EllieMae wrote a review...



Hey friend, I am gonna leave you a quick review for your poem, 'Time heals'.

Overall, I really love the formatting you used for this. It was very unique and simple. We begin with our opening line, which sets up the theme of the poem:

They say time heals all wounds. What they don't say is how long it takes to heal.


I love the 'time heals all wounds' idea that you play with throughout this poem. The idea that, yes sure, time will eventually heal. But that time is not specified. I love how you go through different versions of pain that people experience in life. all of these take different amounts of time to heal from, but are connected through the healing process.

we go through different wounds, like being bullied or falling off of your bike or your parents yelling. I love how you use simple examples that are very relatable.

The wounds passed down in your blood. Time heals all wounds.

The wounds from yourself. Time heals all wounds.

They say time heals all wounds. But at what cost?


I absolutely love how you did this ending. Wounds passed down in blood and wounds from yourself. those are really beautiful constructs to look at and I love how you expanded so much deeper in the end. I would love to see you add even more to this. most of the examples you give are simple but relatable, I wonder if you could find some more mature examples to include. things like war and death, perhaps. more topics that a lot of people experience, like the ones you mentioned.

Overall, this was a very sweet poem and I love the idea you are working with. brilliant work! keep writing!

Your friend,
Ellie




L0ca1Tes1a says...


Thank you! I'm definitely thinking about adding some more things since had a few people who really like it and thinks it has more potentional.



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Thu May 30, 2024 9:07 pm
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KaeRae88 wrote a review...



Hey, Kaerae here again! Thought I would review the longer version since the first draft was amazing. First of all, I like the structure you added to this one. It has more flow now that the first word is consistent with all of the lines.
Honestly, this took a different turn than what I was thinking. I was thinking more emotional pain, and in a way, you do mention some of the emotional pain

The wounds from yourself. Time heals all wounds.
but I like how you elaborate on what wounds you are talking about. This feels kind of like a 'coming of age' or maturity poem as one looks back on their life and reminisces of the past things they liked to do as a child. It's very sobering to think about and you portrayed it with style! One thing I think might improve it is if you put the emphasis line,
Time heals all wounds.
in its own little paragraph. This is more of a personal opinion, and you already have a great setup, but to me it just feels better if it is. Anyways, loved this version too!

keep writing, KaeRae❤️




L0ca1Tes1a says...


Thank you! yes when I wrote this I was writing to be like the wounds you get growing up and the different wounds you get. I wanted to give the "Time heals all wounds part." its own line but wouldn't sure if it would have worked.




An existential crisis a day keeps the writer's block away <3
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