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by L0ca1Tes1a

I excel in my art and writing classes.

I excel in my Spanish and history classes.

I excel in my gym and science classes.

I don't excel in my math classes.

I excel in writing and drawing.

I excel in creating something from nothing.

I excel in using competitiveness to win.

I don't excel in using numbers.

I excel in all the things deemed 'useless'.

I don't excel in things that are useful.

I excel in things that are considered hobbies.

I don't excel in things people praise you for.

I excel in things using my imagination.

I don't excel in things using my logic.

I excel in things that would get me a 'dream' job.

I don't excel in things that would get me a respectable job.

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35 Reviews

Points: 3120
Reviews: 35

Fri Jun 14, 2024 8:49 am
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AnotherCrowInRow wrote a review...

Hi! I'm here with a quick review! Your poem is great, and I know many people who could relate to it extremely (maybe I'm one of them, who knows). I like how the poem starts with the repeating sentences "I excel..." and then out of nowhere we have "I don't excel...". I like that there isn't a very clear tempo or rhythm between these sentences. While reading, I felt as if the narrator was talking to themself. I also like how you delve deeper and deeper into the poem. At the beginning, the poem talks about school subjects, at the end about dreams for the future.
People often don't look at all the things we excel at, but at the one thing we're not good at. Even though it's something everyone has probably encountered, for some reason no one writes about it, even though it's a great topic to relate to. I'm glad you picked up on this topic and wrote this piece. It is simple. It's relatable. Not everyone can write like this, and you definitely succeeded this time.

L0ca1Tes1a says...

Thank you! I am glad you like this poem. I think people should go into this topic more. Also thank you so much for the compliment i feel like compliments like that are the best.

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243 Reviews

Points: 27897
Reviews: 243

Fri Jun 14, 2024 6:39 am
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OrabellaAvenue wrote a review...

Hello there! I'm Orabella, here with a short review! ^^

I really like your premise: exceling and not exceling, what we're good at, and what we're not good at, and self-worth. All things everyone (unfortunately) can relate to. I really like the repetitiveness of "I excel" and "I don't excel" within this; first of all, it's eye-grabbing, and second of all, it just works. It feels like, hmm... almost a little rant from the narrator? I can hear the narrator's voice in my head getting more and more dramatic as the poem goes on, and it really creates a vivid picture of what the narrator (or you!) is trying to convey through it.

I also love your use of opposites. In the poem, you talk about subjects that you're good at, and then one you're not. Then you elaborate further and deeper and get more opposite words in here, with things like "imagination" and "logic"; "nothing" and "win"; "dream job" and "respectable job". I especially like the last two lines; they're so powerful and they really make you think, too. I don't really think you need math to have a respectable job, and dreams sound better than reality in most forms and capacities.

You don't need to be good at math to have a good career, to be useful, to be kind. I think you are excellent, no, you excel in many things, and I can guarantee it's more than you realize.

Overall, this poem is unique in it's own little way, to the point and yet beautiful. I love it!!! It's fun to read and has a lot of sad (and in a way, beautiful) parts to it. Thank you so much for writing this; deciding to share it with us; and just generally being awesome! Have an amazing day/night, and keep writing!!! :D

L0ca1Tes1a says...

Thank you! everything I did in this poem has an intent and I love when people can see them. dream jobs definitely sound 100% better but unfortunately my mom wont let me go to school for art or music :( I also love the way you can here the voice reading it and getting dramatic because I hear it too when reading poems but I feel like a lot of people don't have it.

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50 Reviews

Points: 6037
Reviews: 50

Fri Jun 14, 2024 4:37 am
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Isbah wrote a review...

Hi L0ca1Tes1a! This about society’s expectations, and how somethings are given more value sometimes than the rest. The speaker expresses their dislike of this. I think it’s mostly mentioning math, and how the speaker is not good at that. So is it about how people expect more and more Ben after you’ve done everything you can for them? How it’s hard to satisfy them with your achievements?
I think this poem could be improved if there was some sort of format? Like maybe put all the things you excel at first, then all that you don’t at.
The best part are the last two lines,

I excel in things that would get me a 'dream' job.

I don't excel in things that would get me a respectable job.
I like how you imply that there’s a difference between the two. Keep writing and have an awesome day!!

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thorngray says...

I completely agree with your point of view. I think the layout of the article is really not reasonable. She mightgeometry dash online list the things she does well first or vice versa. Then it can be asserted that how can she overcome it?

L0ca1Tes1a says...

Thank you! I understand this can be a bit of a confusing format but I did intentionally put it this way so that it was almost as if I was conflicting with myself. If you ever want to go view my other works I do have some poems in a similar format. This poem is kinda about how society ignores what you are good at and focuses on what you aren't good at. It is also focused somewhat to my mom and grandpa since my mom wont let me go to college for art or music and my grandpa keeps pushing me to be good at math even though he knows I struggle and even though I'm good at these other things.

The beginning of wisdom is to call things by their right names.
— Chinese proverb