What, pray tell, is beauty?
The supermodel being paid millions,
Or the smile of a child who has just beaten cancer?
Truth is, they are both beautiful, in their own way.
The supermodel has an outward beauty, and an inward beauty as well, but I think that we take it for granted,
That with her we only look on the outside, for the most part anyway.
The child posses an inner beauty, a strength that I hope we all find at least once in our lives.
Have you seen the photos and news stories online?
God, if I could only have half the strength and goodness these kids have,
My life would be complete.
But, the truth is that we are all so jaded, so superficial at times.
We all see outward beauty, when we should be looking within.
Don't shake your head reader,
It's hard to admit, but none of us are perfect.
I'm not, you're not.
We've all done it.
We all have judged people, judged things because of the way that they look.
We can be so harsh, so unforgiving sometimes.
When I was younger, if you didn't fit in with what I thought was normal, you didn't belong.
Thankfully I know better now.
When did people with morals become prudes?
When did some versions of love become disgusting?
I hate this world, where no one is ever really, truly accepted except by a select few.
Can I ask you something reader?
It's a question I've asked myself many times.....
What is beauty to you?
True beauty, I mean.
What does that mean to you?
To me it is the smiles on the faces of my younger sisters when we make cookies,
Or the joy in all my brothers eyes when I agree to play with them and be the bad guy again.
The look on my mothers face every time she introduced us to our latest sibling.
The pride in my fathers eyes whenever he looks at all of us.
The sight of my friends running to greet me after a long absence,
That is truly beautiful.
And that's just the people.
I find beauty in the way my dogs cuddle each other,
The sunset between the hills that you can see from my porch,
Driving through the mountains during the fall, that is a sight of beauty.
The first rose on my bush might be scrawny, but it is beautiful.
The flowers in my garden might not be set in a specific patter, in fact they are all over the place,
But they are beautiful thanks to the care my family has given them.
I see beauty in the simplest things sometimes,
It's crazy, really.
But that who I am, that's my way of seeing true beauty.
Maybe it's stupid, but that's how I see things.
Maybe it's simplistic, but that's who I am.
I try to see things differently from other people.
I try to see beauty in everyday things.
Everyone has there opinion on beauty, and this is mine.
And what about you, reader?
You mind if I ask what's yours?
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I agree there are many different ways people see beauty...mine is a simple flower budding or the pond near my house or the way my sister can be so happy just when she see's me
but it's also the beauty I see in a person or a poem I don't see beauty in much but the simple things in nature are beautiful to me and I find peace in listening to music that is beautiful sorry I'm ranting now hehe...well that's some of things that are beauty to me...
This is so pretty.
Hey, I'm Kev and here's my input on your poem:
As was stated in the review before mine, your poem was created with the best of intentions. It has no doubt uplifted others as it has also uplifted me. I loved the way you told the reader what you think is beautiful; they are things that I think people can take for granted. It makes the reader reflect and think about what they believe is beauty.
You hit some key points about how society has become harsh, especially in the fact that we sometimes only see beauty in what we consider are beautiful people on the outside, and that we are also too quick to judge when we don't even know a person at all.
This is a poem that really made me reflect and think. Thank you for sharing!
Thanks!
Hey there, you.
Here is my honest opinion. It's filled with good intentions.
This poem is acting like it's presenting new ideas. It's not. It's presenting an idea that has been pounded into the ground with a sledgehammer, far after it has died.
That makes it a much more difficult poem to write.
You need to show us a different way of looking at this beauty that you have found. I don't think any person with an average intelligence would disagree with your idea of beauty. These things are nice, and I don't disagree with you either. The problem lies with how you simply list what you find beautiful. I've seen these things, I know what they are, they're nice. They're pretty. What is the importance in that? Find the importance of the beauty of things, and you'll have yourself a poem.
Honestly, right now, if I took away the line breaks, it would sound like a rather ranty blog entry. You bash some things, tell the reader to agree with you, and then say, "this is what is actually pretty." Poetry looks at normal things in a different manner. I don't see this here at all.
Another issue is one that I touched upon in the previous paragraph. You bash some things and tell the reader to agree with you.
Aren't both beautiful in their own ways? Just because someone is blessed with physical beauty and a penchant for flaunting it does not mean that they are not beautiful. I'm not talking only about physical beauty; what about someone blessed with both inner and outer beauty? Take for an example Gisele Bundchen. She's done many things that help the world, and she is a supermodel. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gisele_B%C3%BCndchen#Charitable_activities
(you can read about it there)
I agree. We have all judged people according to the wrong things. But we shouldn't be judging at all. You say that "we" are being harsh and unforgiving, but you sound awfully accusatory right here in the poem. "Don't lie to yourself." I'm not. Your tone, however, is accusatory, and though you may not have meant to come off as accusatory, you did. Soften your words, or the head shaking readers might not want to read any further.
Not only is this grammatically incorrect, but both have their beauty, no? If you're speaking of pornography, you need to be more specific with your words. Even the Bible, if you're a Christian, does not condemn nudity as evil. In fact, Adam and Eve started out naked, and only when they disobeyed God and ate from the tree did they realize that they were naked and want to cover themselves. There is no shame in nudity, and you should choose your words more carefully.
As for the grammar aspect of the line, it is a fragment, and it took me several times to read before I understood what you were referring to. Also, it should be "woman," not the plural, "women."
"its" should be "it's" because you're contracting "it is."
Why are there so many dots at the end? It should be three, no more. And in fact, that's not even grammatically correct. An ellipsis signifies that you're omitting words from a quote. A long dash symbolizes a pause.
I suggest not breaking the fourth wall (in a manner of speaking) so much. As in, don't mention that someone's reading this. I want to lose myself in a poem and then think about what I think, rather than have the poet force the meaning and ideas of the poem down my throat. Focus on the images, not trying to get your message across. Your message will follow close behind the images, I promise.
Overall, I can't wait to see when this is more polished. Mind your tone; a lot is communicated through that one thing. I hope this review proves useful to you. Keep writing, and good luck in future endeavors.
I really enjoyed your poem! You picked a great subject to write about! You really show how ignorant our society has become, how materialistic we have all turned into and how many of us only relate beauty to what is on the outside. This poem kind of reminded me more of an essay or article not really a poem, but I really enjoyed reading it.
"We all have judged people, judged things because of the way that they look."
you can insert a semicolon "We all have judged people; judged things..." or you can insert a "or" "We all have judged people or things because...".
"...set in a specific patter..." *pattern (I know a typo)
"But that who I am..." should be "But that's who I am..."
Other than these few mistakes, I really enjoyed your poem! Keep writing and I'm looking forward to read more of your work
Thanks!
I totally agree. To many people these days are getting judged on by their appearance. Like how big their butts and boobs are. Why do you think all the popular guys date the snotty girls with horrible personalities? It's because of the way they look. Almost everything in the world is fake now. People can change their appearances. It wasn't the way they were born so it's fake. The only thing real now is nature. But anyways, this poem embraces how much humanity has changed and how ignorant the human species has become.
Thanks!
Wow, fantastic job! This really touched me, and I completely agreed with every word
Amazing job, especially the last lines:
“But that's who I am, that's my way of seeing true beauty.
And what about you, reader?
What's yours?"
Great Job, keep writing!!
Thanks!