I Looked in His Eyes

Hey, I really liked your poem. I liked the way you expressed the love and stuff. I liked how you said this: "But I looked in your eyes, into the ocean of blue." That's a really creative way of saying what the guy's eye color is. I also thought it was funny how you said in the 2nd stanza "you laughed at my joke,and then said something,that made me snort Coke." lol. Anyway Good job on everything. I really liked the poem. Keep writing!

Hey HomeschooledTeen,

Your work is far good for an explanation. The love you have expressed is not to be weighed on any account. You are seeking love of extreme and i am sure you retrieve the same to him. And this work even tempts me to love somebody and experience such feeling regardless of all odds that we are set up to. Over all hates off to your work.

All I have to say people, is that I love my country boy.

Hey H.S.T nice to see you again, sorta. Love the poem it almost made me cry. It was so sweet, I like the rhyming. It was very poetic and romantic so I think you accomplished your goal on it. ^_^. Also I like the descriptions like ...

"But I looked in your eyes,

into the ocean of blue,

and to my delight,

I saw me and you.

Our future. "

it's a nice way of saying his eyes are blue or brown since it's the twenty first century and all. ^U^

Hi, lyricalrebel here to review your poem. You have a thing for writing poetry and it's a good one. It shows that even though we are not perfect there are still someone who'll accept us for who we are. Even though we think we'll be alone for the rest of our lives, when we stare at someone's eyes we know...you will be together forever
I know that feeling
The sequencing of this was good but one tip for you, you should break your lines properly. It will make the readers understand you more. But all in all, the flow was amazing, there are no errors and the emotions are well-depicted. Keep writing!

Hi, it's Kristina here.

I'm going to give you my feedback

Well, first of all, such a nice poem. It's simple, easy to understand, but enjoyable to read. It looks so sweet.

The rhythym helps the poem to be more "attractive" and interesting to read. So that is one of the things why I liked reading it.

But I have something else to tell you, actually to correct you. At times, I felt that in the last verse of each stanza, you went off-rhythym- there wasn't any rhythym, for example in the first stanza you wrote;

"That day I saw you,

I looked in your eyes,

and right at that moment,

I didn't realize what was happening."

The first 3 lines really go with each others, because they all rhyme, but the fourth verse does not go with them. Take a look at it again. The word "happening" does not match. Just to give you an example on how it should be, I would write for example (the fourth verse)- "I hoped you would be mine."

The same counts for the other verses.

I am just telling you this for your improvement, 'cause on the whole, I pretty like your poem!