This is extremely personal, and I would really prefer if you didn't critique it. I honestly don't think that I could handle that right now. Leave comments if you want, but please don't review.
I stare at the wall, tears running down my cheeks.
Talking to myself, because face it girl, no one listens to you.
No one cares.
I can't,
can't take it anymore.
I'm alone for once
In this house crammed with people.
It's a miracle.
I love them, but I hate them,
because no matter how hard I try I'll never be a part of them.
I'm alone
It's all I've ever been, it's all I'll ever be.
Why did she have me?
Clearly I ruined her life.
She's good at hiding it, but some days I see it
see it in her eyes. And I know that she wishes I was never born.
I'm different. That's always been clear.
I hate the way that they look at me some days.
I hate that when I'm out with my brothers and sisters people think that I'm the babysitter.
I hate it. I hate me.
I hate being homeschooled. Really, I do.
It's been great, and I love it at the same time.
But it's just another thing that makes me different. That makes me weird in the eyes of my friends.
And I can't take it anymore. I hate that this sets me apart from them.
I'm different. I'm weird. I'm everyone's kid sister and the girl no one wants to date.
My first kiss was basically rape. And I let it happen and now it won't go away.
It's in my head, it's in my body, and it won't stop haunting me.
I'm not the good girl everyone sees.
I'm tired of hiding, of not being me.
I can't be me, because people will hate me.
They hate me now, it seems.
And I'm still crying. And talking to myself. Every word I say I type.
I hide from reality. I lose myself in books and writing. I've only ever opened up to one person.
And he doesn't even know everything.
It's all I can do.
It's all that keeps me sane.
I'm dying inside. Drowning.
And I don't know how to pull myself up anymore.
Do I even want to?
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139,585 Literary Works • 672,611 Reviews
I feel the same way...I'm homeschooled to and very weird though I don't have friends anyone well none that I live in the same town as
Heartbreaking,
Heartaching,
This review is simply
is utterly completely
BRILLIANT - I love your ideas, your thoughts, the ways in which you write them down, poems are one thing this is another! Love it - the use of vocab, the use of verbs, the use of adjectives, the use of verbs - Its amazing it really is - I wish I could write poems as that!
My friend, I may not be homeschooled but I get how your feeling. Everyday you're surrounded by people that gets you but don't understand you. And so no matter how much great (or terrible) friends (and family) you might have or comprehending you will always notice the differences between them and you.
Everything you said here I've been through it...the stares, being different, the weird one, seeing sometimes the look in my mother's eyes, I'm the sister instead of the girl a guy would take home to introduce to his parents, and everything else. I've even been told recently by my father how stupid and disappointing I am and all I can do about it is talk to myself while drowning like you. But I smile even if I feel like crawling in the darkest corner and never move again (or breathe for that matter)...because I know there are others in this world who are feeling the same way, like you, that what they need isn't an ear that will hear and criticize but an arm that will reach out and help them lift of the ground.
So if you ever need to vent, scream, shout or anything; PM me. Even if it is to say the same thing over and over again. We may be thousands of miles apart but you aren't alone HomeschooledTeen. We will always be here for you.
I feel i am home-schooled to, hope this is a comment
I too can relate. I understand a lot about how you feel and especailly with this line:
I completely understand, I believe that I've made the same exact quote that you wrote just there.
And like SparkOfDoubt said I have also been homeschooled and so I know how it feels to feel different. And this line:
I don't know exactly what you meant by it, but I know what it means for me. Sometimes I feel like people specifically hate me, and they look at me a certain way. Even complete strangers. And I am different here, and so I know it has something to do with that. So I can totally relate to that.
I can also tell you though that you are a fantastic person. And I know that you're going to see how strong you are and how it doesn't matter what people think about you AT ALL. All that matters is how you WANT to see you. Because if we focused on how we see ourselves sometimes, it wouldn't be so great. But when we look at who we really are, and who we really want to be, that's the most important thing. Just hold on, and don't drown and it'll be worth it. Because drowning isn't.
And I'd also really like to talk to you! I'm also always around. You'll always have someone there for you. : )
Babe, we need to be friends, because I related to all of this. The being homeschooled... Just everything. Feel better, and if you want to talk, I'm always around <3
Thanks, I'll keep that in mind.
Not here to critique, but just here to say that I thought this was beautifully written. I think niteowl is right that the greatest art is the art people make when they're going through tough times.
Plus, I think poetry like this serves not just as a reflection of the poet, but also as a reflection of the reader. We're forced to reflect on who we are: the good, the bad, and the ugly. I don't think anyone is completely happy with who they are; most of us recognize that there is a side of ourselves that we don't like. But that's okay.
I hope this doesn't come off as trite, but your poem reminded me of this quote from Wreck-It Ralph:
I'm bad, and that's good. I will never be good, and that's not bad. There's no one I'd rather be than me.
Take care and thank you for sharing
I love that quote!
Hello,
I am not going to critique this. But I have a few kind words and advice to share.
Always remember that hard times can be good for an individual. You can only experience true happiness if you have experienced true sadness. I believe that everything happens for a reason. Every event has a 'why' and all adversity teaches us a lesson. To live greatly, we must develop the capacity to face trouble with courage, disappointment with cheerfulness, and triumph with humility.
I hope things improve for you.
Feel free to message me if you need someone to talk to.
--Alba
Hi there HomeschooledTeen! Please note that I'm only marking this as a review so it can get out of the Green Room.
I'm sorry you're feeling this way, but often it is these dark times that can produce the greatest art, and that shows through here. Not just the emotion, but also the piece explains why you feel them. A lot of emotional poems basically say "I'm sad" over and over, but here I know enough to empathize with you.
Later, when you get through this (and you will get through this), this might be worth taking a second look at. When you can be more objective, it's a lot easier to turn the pain into something beautiful.
Right now, though, stay strong and feel better. And of course, keep writing!
*Hugs*