Warning: This work has been rated 18+.
Shit.
That little pink plus sign is so unholy.
Or it would be,
if I would take the damn test.
But I can't.
Because the truth is that I'm scared and
peeing on that stick only makes this hell
more real than it is.
"I fucked up."
That's what I told my friend when he asked what the hell was wrong with me.
"I'm disappointed."
Well, that's great Walt. So am I.
Because the truth is that three weeks ago I let a guy into my car.
A guy I barely knew,
and I only did it because I was sick of being teased
because I was a virgin.
Was.
That's the key word in the sentence.
Because the truth is that three weeks ago I let a guy between my legs,
and now I'm suffering the consequences.
I knew the second it was over that I had done a stupid thing.
Because not only had I sacrificed all my morals and beliefs for a quickie in a car with a stranger,
I had done so,
without using protection.
Maybe if I was on birth control, I would be okay.
But the truth is that when I was younger I made a promise to myself to never do such a thing,
without a ring on my left hand. I didn't want to be my mother.
So I wasn't on the pill, because I wasn't gonna do it.
But I did it.
And now the truth is that I'm puking up my guts,
and in one week, if I don't bleed,
well, it'll be official. But really, it already is.
I'll be a statistic.
I'll be the latest gossip feature.
I'll be a college freshman with a bun in the oven,
and I'm not going for a culinary degree.
What am I supposed to do with this life growing inside of me?
Lord knows I'm not responsible. Lord knows I'm a mess.
I can barely keep my life together,
how am I supposed to take care of another?
Shit.
That little pink plus sign is so unholy.
And I know it is,
Because the truth is, I took the damn test.
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139,565 Literary Works • 672,608 Reviews
hey Knight,
so, first off, I'm really sorry that happened, doing something you regret sucks, especially with consequences, and I hope everything works out (If you want to talk about anything with a random stranger, I'm here, and I've got some personal experience that might help you).
But, Poem time, because that's why we're all on this website. First off, I completely disagree with Lumi (sorry Lumi). I love the raw emotion in your words. Especially the ending. I think it really puts the reader with you in the situation. And sure, it expresses an opinion, but everyone has opinions, the greatest poems do, just look at the poems from the WWII period. I'm sure that there could be some small things in the poem that could be fixed after 20 times rereading and rewriting it, but I honestly would not change a thing. I really loved this piece, keep being awesome
-live
(honestly message me anytime if you need anything)
Yo Knight. Let's jam.
I'm gonna be quick about this because you don't display traditional modes of flow or imagery, but rather keep the poem very rooted and down-to-earth...until you don't.
My biggest talking point is how quickly this turns from "I can relate to this" to "This is preachy" at the drop of a hat. I understand the technical flaw behind it--you wrote this while experiencing the wild emotionality that drove you to create it in the first place, and the feelings got away from you. This has a remedy, though, because you can detach yourself from this piece and analyze it as a third person, regardless of whether or not you're going through it.
You sacrifice your smooth narrative for pedestal lines like "I didn't use protection" and "But the truth is that when I was younger I made a promise to myself to never do such a thing, / without a ring on my left hand." You see the dilemma. You can be wildly emotional all you want, but the moment you wag a finger at either yourself or the audience, you're taking a stance of "This is the wrong thing / Do as I say, not as I do / I know better than you." This stance is never one that people will enjoy reading.
Hope this helps,
Lumi
Thanks. Even though I think that what I did is the wrong thing because of the morals and beliefs that I thought I held, and I will constantly be wagging my finger at myself.
The problem is that no matter how much I want to, right now (and perhaps not ever) I can't detach myself from this piece. The finger is gonna wag. And within the next few weeks, it won't just be my own.
I like the repetition. You described how public teen pregnancies can be made and that was amazing. I can really feel the panic and shame of the narrator. It's almost like I am regretting it as much as her. The
I'll be a college freshman with a bun in the oven,
and I'm not going for a culinary degree.
was a clever idea. Good job, and I hope you're OK.
Did this really happen? i'm sorry if it is. not trying to be pitiful just wondering.
Unfortunately, yes.
im sorry...