This is gonna hurt me more than it hurts you.
I didn't understand that once,
But now I think I do.
I've said things,
done things,
that I will never say I'm proud of.
The worst thing was,
"You're not really my dad."
I still hate myself for that.
I got lucky,
I am privileged,
to call this man my father.
He may not have created me,
but I am still his daughter.
He changed my diapers,
held my hair back,
when I got embarrassingly sick.
Only a father would do that.
He sticks with with you,
when he's seen your best and your worst.
And that is why I write this,
because it is not a curse,
to have a dad like that.
A man who stay's when it gets rough.
Who is there when you need him,
no matter what.
I love him for being like that.
Because where would I be without him?
Who would I be?
I definitely wouldn't be the me
that I am today.
I have him to thank for teaching me,
for loving me,
and even for punishing me,
looking back,
I deserved it.
No poem or story or song that I write,
will ever be enough for this.
Nothing that I can do will prove it to him,
just how much he is a part of me.
Because that is just something that you know,
deep in your heart.
This is gonna hurt me more than it hurts you.
I didn't understand that once,
But now I think I do.
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139,565 Literary Works • 672,608 Reviews
hello there just going to do a small review
wow what a nice poem you've written. This really makes me appreciate my dad and what I have and that's good. Making the reader feel something is something you should do as a writer. I didn't really find any mistakes in this poem. It was a pretty solid read if I do say so myself. keep writing
Wow, really, really nice poem.
I could feel the emotion that you felt and I'm positive that you've experienced this, just from the raw emotion you can feel in it. I think your very talented, and you've expressed your feelings beautifully in this poem.
The only nitpick;
A man who stay's
Should be no apostrophe.
Great writing;
LGF
Hey there! Purple here to give you a review! Let's get down to business.
I cannot even express how lucky you are. I can't personally relate to this, but this creates some sort of longing in me to have a father be somewhat close to what you have. I don't want to be a debby downer, but basically he sounds wonderful. And the reason he seems wonderful is because of your nicely descriptive and detailed poem. The only thing wrong is this line
"A man who stay's when it gets rough." There shouldn't be an apostophe in 'stays'.
Other than that, good job. Keep writing and have a nice day!
~Purple
Thanks!
As for the apostrophe, tell that to my very demanding and slightly malfunctioning spellcheck. She feels the need to stick those little devils everywhere.
Hello, Rhia here to review!
As far as content goes, I love it. I am iin just the same position, so it relates, and makes it very personal to me. I'm sure you probably got to lots of others, too.
Now, nitpicks:
1) in the third stanza, first line, you repeated "with"
2) you started lots of sentences and lines with "and"s and "because"s. Definitely try to reduce those, it's poor grammar and it takes away from the flow of the poem. It gives a tired-out feeling to it.
3)
The meaning of this is unclear. I think you're trying to say that, of all hearts, your dad has a particularly wonderful heart. That isn't coming across here though. I would play with this line to try to clarify it.
Alright, that's all I could find. I liked it otherwise, keep it up.
Thanks!
Great poem! Beautifully written.
Thanks!