Silence

Hey there! It's ZeldaIsShiek here to review another quintessential piece of literature that made my day and win this Review Day by helping the Red Pandas stay in first place and reaching my goal of 80 reviews. I might even get to 100, if I work hard enough. I am really excited to review this amazing piece of art that you have created, and maybe add some witty humor as well. Anyway, that's enough idle chatter from me. Let's get into the review.

I adore this poem because it accurately depicts the pain that is caused by the lack of communication with others. Though I am an introvert and personally enjoy silence, it can be really frustrating when someone you wanted to talk to leaves you alone to your thoughts, especially if your thoughts are dangerous. Being around loud and rambunctious people for a long period of time makes me dangerous to myself, but to extroverts, it may be the opposite. The silence can be relief from pain and from others, or it can be the darkness that being away from other people brings out int you.

It hurts a lot when people don't understand you and leave you alone. I love the way you created abstract yet congruent stanzas, and how your lines feel like messages from your heart flowing onto the paper you wrote this on. Your poem is truly amazing, and that is all.

That's all for today. Keep writing amazing literature that inspires me to read and review them, and have a great Review Day! Let's beat the Blues once and for all!

~ZeldaIsShiek

Very nicely written! Thanks for sharing this very intense pensive poem about silence and the effect that such a silence has on the speaker. In this case it causes pain and that pain is because during silence hurtful memories of another person involuntarily arise. Because of this, the silence arouses fear.

The poem is effective in conveying the mood, the extreme aversion to experiencing silence once again only to be assailed by the hurtful persistent memories. No exact details are provide, so the poem must be understood as an effort to share an emotion as opposed to a poem that strives to gain the reader’s empathy. In order to involve the reader in that strong emotional way, details need to be provided so that a moral evaluation and a conclusion can be reached. The reader might wind up agreeing with the writer or disagreeing. However, in this case neither can be done because the exact details are not provided.

That doesn’t mean that the poem isn’t a pleasant read. It definitely is and is very well written and complete in itself within the parameters of its purpose which is to convey the emotions of fear, longing that are described.

Wow...This poem is quite intriguing, especially looking at it from a standpoint in which you're looking at the big picture. It's very simplistic, and it holds a lot of meaning; I like your repetition of the beginnings of the lines; It seemed like you followed a pattern.

For example, "It leaves me, It leaves me/you haunt, you are" is an emphasis on your feelings toward a specific person. However, I feel as though your diction could be stronger, more of a strong effect on the reader. While it's simple and good the way it is, I feel you could make it even better with stronger diction, or stronger transition.

You quickly transition from "Then I hoped for a quick end," to "Now I am broken," for an example, but I personally feel like you could make this section a bit stronger. Instead of just transitioning to, "Now I am broken," you could (and this is just a suggestion, you don't have to follow these) transition with, "However the end has left me broken." I believe that, as much as you may like simple, you may want to make the poem sound a little more sophisticated; Use stronger diction and transitions. However, all in all, this poem was very good. I like the message in it. You've earned a follower.