Sick

Thanks for sharing this poem about the desire to escape. The flow is very smooth s the lack of punctuation can easily be accepted as a stylistic choice. The desperation is conveyed very well and as a reader I felt the urgency. Being fellow human being who has been assailed by similar feelings I felt empathy and a sense of compassion toward's the speaker even though I didn't know the specifics or cause of the suffering. Being told that another human being is suffering deeply should be enough to engender such empathy and the poem succeeded in doing so. In fact, inability to feel empathy for other people is considered a mental disorder involving a deficiency.

Can the poem be expanded? Sure it can, by adding simile, metaphor, irony, personification, and providing specifics. Actually, many short poems can be expanded even when the are considered masterpieces. But that doesn't mean that they are falling short in conveying what they were intended to convey. It might mean that the reviewer simply wishes that the poem had been more specific in order to provide a more varied reader- experience.

Even Edgar Allen Poe's The Raven can be expanded by adding details as can be Stopping by the Woods on a Snowy Evening by Robert Frost. Yet these poets stopped at a length they felt was ideal because they felt that the poem had accomplished what they intended it to accomplish and any addition would have been superfluous and maybe be even counterproductive via a watering down of the effect. Since the purpose of this poem is to convey an emotion of discomfort and it succeeds, then it is complete in that sense. Had its purpose been to convince the reader that the feeling of frustration is justifiable, then it would need to provide more details in order to provide the reader with the essential information upon which to evaluate and make a moral judgment.

Thanks for sharing!

Beautiful work I am a huge poetry buff but I honestly can not write it well to save my life, so good for you being as talented as you are. To me you were attempting to capture the feeling of anxiety? At least that was my perspective, if so you did a phenomenal job. It is great art to put into the world because it helps those suffering from it know that there are other people who feel the same pain as they do. The shortness of the statements are great too because it is reflective of the only way you can think when experiencing anxiety. Great job.

Hello hello it's Izzy with her first review of the new year!

I enjoyed this poem about wanting to escape and to never feel again, and the emotional pain you portray in it.

there was a lack of punctuation, and maybe a few commas were out of place, but overall, you did great!

*Munches on chips and contemplates poem some more*

I think this poem is about you wanting to run away from something and maybe thats a good thing?

I butchered this review haha sorryyyyy!


Izzy

Hey, there fellow writer. Before I review, I am not here to judge, diss, criticize, and so on and so forth. It's rude and no one likes somebody hating on them and bringing them down. I could go on about it, but I won't. I came to review, not rant on and bore you.
So far, thumbs up on the stanzas in this piece. You also did get your emotions across in this poem, which is also great and I felt like I could somewhat relate. But I think you need to throw in some punctuation up in your piece. Now if not having a lot of punctuation was your intention, then good job and keep on writing.