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139,529 Literary Works • 672,599 Reviews
I really liked this piece. It really gives the reader a feel for the character's pain and what they went through. It doesn't say what the traitor did, which makes the poem more relate able. It is short and to the point, not long and drawn out like some, and I like that. I like how it is short and simple, but you still get the meaning. This is a really great piece and I encourage you to write more!
I absolutely loved it!
That said, I think it could be bettered with some punctuation marks, grammar and spelling checks and maybe even split some of the sentences. By splitting sentences and punctuating we could better read the poem and get the emotion- with the right indications as where to pause, etc.
I also think you could get two stanzas from this. One from the bridge burned and the next from this knew bridge him/her has now built.
Great Job! Keep at it.
Wow! I really like this poem. I would like to make a few suggestions, though.
In your second line I think you could use a comma, and instead of face, maybe say eyes.
"You had no regrets doing so, I saw it in your eyes."
In your seventh line I think the flow is lost a little bit.
"You built another one, and now expect me to cross."
Anyways, that's all I saw, good job!