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141,743 Literary Works • 675,659 Reviews
Indeed, this poem is disturbingly realistic, and I find mmyself believing it, although with a little doubt, but that is not the poem"s fault. But I would advise you to attempt and utilise greater vocabulary, and have a little more care regardimg the wodds you choose and where you place them. This is a poem, after all, and sGould be constructed with great care, or at least reivised so. But I have personally enjoyed it.
This poem seems very real, and raw. There are a few mispelled words that you can fix so that it doesn't distract from your poem. Mispellings like spirit, kryptonite. "of" should be "off" in the 7th line. Also in the 6th to last line I would maybe capitalize "too" so that it's like the other lines.
I really like the imagery in the line "Yet I am still held together with stitches and rope." The ending is really nice, that there's hope even with all the fear. Keep writing, and I hope you have a great day!!
~~Ally-wa
You can do away with typos like 'togeather', 'shadered', 'sliceing'. The poem itself is heartfelt. What I see is raw emotion in your words. You've written what came to your mind. That's a sign of a good poet.
Cheers!