Young Writers Society

Hi there! I'm here to drop a quick review.

This poem hit me hard. I have to say, you have the gift of connecting directly with your readers. All your writing is just soo relatable.

The beginning is very apt. I perfectly get what you are saying, that it strikes only when you are alone. It's easy to hide and ignore the insecurity.
It's funny, I just recently posted a poem about finding the best in us and holding on to that when we feel 'inept'. You can check it out here.

The second stanza expresses how this self-doubt doesn't come from somewhere outside, it's inside our minds. 'Self-inflicted doubts' perfectly encapsulates that.

The third is, I think, the stanza that connects most with the readers. 'Am I enough?' that is such a perfect expression of what we feel.

In the fourth, 'seeds of painful past' is a great expression, it shows that if tended to, these might grow into larger insecurities.

In the fifth stanza, 'Covering my thoughts with negative space;' didn't make much sense to me. I got the gist of your statement, but you could consider reframing that.

The 6th, 'putting a smile across my face, hiding the painful thoughts in silence.' shows how we 'wear the mask' of happiness, wishing that the self-doubt would go away if we hid it.

I think the redundancy of 'no, no, no,' in the 7th stanza was the best part of it. It brings that connection with the reader, without which, it would sound very office-like and formal.

The last stanza really concluded it well. Somehow, to me, it felt like the flow itself was disrupted, which is perfect for this ending.

Overall, this was a great poem. Despite the uneven rhyme scheme, the flow was very smooth. Amazing job!

Keep Writing!

Hey H! I'm here to make a quick comment on this poem of yours. c: (Also this is the last part of the Checklist Challenge prizes, sorry for the delay!)

Anyway, this is a very relatable poem, because I, too, have quite a bit of self doubt, and I'm sure a lot of other people do. I especially liked the way this poem went from self doubt to self confidence. It portrays hope and also that things can change, all you have to do is change the way you think.

This was a great poem, and I'm going to go and give a couple of your other poems a read!

Wishing you a singing, dancing good time <3

~Lib

Hi, MadagascarMaiden popping in for a review!!
I love this poem. It expresses exactly how I feel sometimes. The formatting, it is simple but appealing to look at. And just the right amount of punctuation. I love the way you describe the feeling of self-doubt. I could never have done it myself, even though I am a good poet. Keep up the good work.

Wow, I really liked reading this. So many of the lines you wrote conveyed feelings and emotions that I wouldn't even know how to put into words, let alone beautiful poetry. I particularly loved that line, "I lose opportunities by fearing to attempt." Like, that line hit hard for me. I understood perfectly what feelings you were trying to get across when reading this. I also really loved the ending, as well. It was like a mixture of inspirational and uplifting. Once again, it was just a pleasure to read. I loved it a lot!

Keep up the good work!

- Highflyer <<

Hey there Hkumar! Tuck dropping by with a review for you today.

Overall, you used some strong description here by using specific verbs and nouns. I found that to be the strongest part of your poem, and it's ultimately what I took away from the novel. You had a focused message that was communicated well throughout, and I felt like I could relate to it. Those two elements were strong throughout and well-done, so now I'm going to jump into a bit of critique.

Firstly, I noticed that you didn't have any stanzas; or at least, had nothing to signify that there was a stanza change. Personally, I prefer to notate this by using single-spaced lines (you can do this in YWS publishing center by holding Shift and Enter), but you can also use tildes, dashes, or really anything else to notate them. When you don't use stanzas, it makes it harder for the reader to know when to pause. This causes problems with rhythm, which makes it difficult to read this poem out loud. Furthermore, it's harder to have a progression of thought and character development throughout since there's no breaks or pauses in the narrative.

Secondly, there was a lot of variation in your line lengths that also threw off the rhythm slightly. While they don't all have to be the exact same syllabication and you can always take creative liberties, it is good to be aware of it and use it to your advantage. I felt like that aspect was missing from your story, which is something you could have used to strengthen your poem.

Hopefully this was helpful, and if you have any questions for me I'd be happy to answer them! This was an enjoyable read and a well-written poem, and I hope you continue writing! Best of luck to you

Best,
Tuck

Hi, there! I'm @Clairia, here with a review!

This piece definitely hits me on a very personal level. I have struggled with issues regarding self doubt in the past and even now; it can be very difficult to view yourself in a good light when you're convinced that the people around you don't think highly of you. It's a monster many of us find ourselves battling at some point in our lives, but it's something that I believe very strongly we can overcome as a society with the right steps.
But until that day comes, let's have a look at your work

It all starts when I am alone,

my greatest enemy returns

that I have always known.

May be its the overthinking I do.

Covering my thoughts with negative space;

It's the pang of self-doubt ,

bringing my spirits down again.

These voices come from

somewhere within.

I remember those days of excellence,

when I fought this traitor with patience.

This is a very powerful poem that tackles a message that unfortunately a lot of people can relate to. I'm not sure why but I love the fact that you used the phrase "self inflicted doubts"; it stood out to me a lot.

In terms of suggestions for improvement, I would start with just a few grammar and spelling issues for the sake of consistency and smoothness of the way the poem reads. One example is when you use "its" rather than "it's", and the punctuation is a bit choppy (sometimes commas are used instead of semicolons or vice versa). I also found it a bit difficult to read with a steady rhythm because you switched between past and present tense, which is just a general rule of thumb with writing that will help a lot with future poems/pieces.

In terms of structure, I actually like that you kept the poem as one long continuation of the narrator's train of thought rather than breaking it up into different stanzas.

The poem itself is incredibly intense and kept me engaged the entire time that I was reading, though the last small suggestion I have is to maybe edit the ending a little bit to avoid a more cushy/cliche line ("I needed to believe in myself"). The poem as a whole, though, is wonderful and you have a good foundation for evoking emotion from the reader!!

I hope this was helpful and I'm excited to see more of your writing <3