Young Writers Society

Hi, how you doing this is Grace for a review
Okay first things first i loved everything about the poem, it is so deep and true specially the part where it speaks about comparing yourself. It really spoke to me and made me stop comparing myself with others you really creative and a true writer. This is one of the best poems i have ever read and i am going to write it down and paste it in my bedroom as motivation. I feel it will remind me not to doubt myself.
I would just like to ask like how did you come up with the poem, did it just pop in your head. The title connects with the poem, it just summaries what the the poem is about. I agree with anne27 that it really hits your heart. I really love this poem so much it is like i can read it over and over again. I love how you telling the reader that whatever life throws at you do not feel bad but deal with it. I can see some tough love in the poem instead of telling the person what they want to hear you are telling them what they need to hear. Well about other things like grammar i am not good in that i am still learning more about that bit how this poem made me feel was overwhelming. I have feeling i am going to love your work please never stop writing because your poem really changed my perspective of life.

Aah! A poem with stunning contrasts!!

Hey there! Anne here for a review!!
This poem is really appreciated by me due to the amazing contrast as said earlier. I love the idea of it.
Your lines are really deep and express their emotions diligently.

Why worry about losing something,
when you never tried embracing it.

Why comparing yourself with those,
who have never been in your shoes.

Why this envious feeling for someone,
who had the courage to fight unlike you.

Why letting remorse etch your heart away,
when you could have fought this profound grief.

Why worry for the unforeseeable future,
while your mind dwells in the horrors of past.

So why no just break this bottle of truth
to find in the shattered pieces, your answers?
Brace yourself for not all will be sugar coated candies
some will give cuts deep enough to make you bleed to death...

Thank you for sharing, I really enjoyed reading your poem

I loved the lines, “Why comparing yourself with those,
who have never been in your shoes.”

This is so unique and I can tell that you thought it out very well. Good job! You’re a very good writer. You chose your words very well and the entire poem flows very well.

Ailah

Dang bro
The first lines had me. Why worry about losing something when you never tried embracing it. This poem is just good advice.
I wonder, what is the bottle of truth? This poem reminds me of a relationship I had. I was scared to allow my feelings to happen because I thought it would be more trouble than it was worth. It was only when I found out she was going to leave that I realized that I couldn’t lose her. And the second stanza, she—and as I came to find out, her whole family—were ridiculously perfect people. They are fearless, generous, chill, loving and so, so much more real than anyone who had come into my life before. I thought, how will I ever come to deserve her?
The fourth and fifth stanzas are more focused on your mental health, and trust me, I get crippling anxiety. A good example is whenever I would approach her door I would nearly have a panic attack because I was so scared of ruining what we had, even though I saw her as often as I could last summer. I said stupid stuff and did stupid things, like when I said, I’d give you up for someone better. How could I be so dumb? Well I proved myself wrong in any case. I’ve found people who are ‘better.’ I’ve even fallen in love beside her, but there’s nothing that compares to the way she made me feel.
The third and last stanzas almost give the impression that (if this is about a relationship for you) she was with another dude who deserved her better than you. I know how that feels, too. Our mutual friend was a dude, who honestly, was pretty mean to me. I probably would given up on him if it weren’t that I was super into his crush. But they texted all the time, and had classes together, and I was super jealous, mostly because I thought that even if I did have all the advantages he had that I would still lose to him.
At any rate, whatever your struggle is, don’t lose hope. You can become strong. You can get rid of all the dark thoughts, eventually. God has a plan for you.
This is a really cutting poem, but it would be a lot stronger if you ran it through Grammerly, it’s free.
Gg bro I’ll look out for your stuff in the future.