Hands that build the future,
caught between what was and what will be,
flowers once bright, now withered,
their petals crumbling like ash in our grasp.
We hold onto them,
remembering the days when they were full of life,
our minds tangled in what’s lost,
in the echoes of their color, their scent,
as if by clinging, we can bring them back.
But they are gone,
And still, we linger.
The garden is alive.
New blooms push through the soil,
their roots deepening in silence,
but our gaze is fixed on the past,
or maybe the future.
Imagining what might come,
worrying over a horizon we cannot see.
We forget,
that the future is not built on dreams or fears,
it is crafted in these moments,
in the tending of what lives,
in the watering of what grows,
the hands that build it are ours,
here, now,
in the quiet act of nurturing the present.
But we are lost,
in what’s gone,
in what’s yet to come,
forgetting that the future only blooms
if we care for what is still breathing,
still rooted in the soil of today.
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140,210 Literary Works • 673,042 Reviews
Nice poem written by the author.
Neither the past nor the future is known by anyone.
Hey, it's Serrurie, here to leave a review! Let's dive in:
The Good Stuff
- There's a lot of emotion in this! It's strong, passionate, and your word choice excellently displays everything you're trying to convey.
- I usually try to interpret the emotions of poems I read, but this one doesn't feel quite sad. I find it melancholy- a distant sadness, but more potently described as an absence of hope. It strongly reminds me of the Beast in Disney's Beauty and The Beast- here comes Belle, the perfect solution to his problems and full of life to bring to the castle, but he can't seem to overcome his own past and dark feelings. I hope that makes sense.
Room For Improvement
- I'm not too much of a poet, so I really didn't see any error here. Your rhythms were pretty on point, and the patterns made sense overall. I'd say maybe to indent more and create more stanzas. You have a small section in the beginning only to have a very large one at the end. But that's it. You wrote this wonderfully.
- This was an amazing piece! I loved how descriptive and- (what can I say instead of 'poetic'?)- tasteful in terms of writing style and word choice.
Happy writing, and have a blessed day!
Serrurie
Thanks for the review <3
Oh my gosh, this made me cry ToT
I started crying when I saw the word scent. When we think about grief, we often think about memories and missing people on faces and things. but scent is something powerful for me and memories and losing things and cling onto these memories unable to let the go. I love the vivid descriptions you use. You don't just say things like "I got trapped" but you really bring it to the next level. I love the word tangled that you used. But even more, I love the phrase of being tangled and something that's lost. Often, when something is lost, we can't see it, or find it ever again. But perhaps being so lost, is what helps something be found, because we're unable to let it go.
It's true, the garden is still alive. Even if a flower dies, it's still creates the ground that will sprout life someday. I guess things are never truly gone. They still live because life continues to move forward. I love how you say that we have to care for what is still here. It's true, we get so caught in the mourning that we don't see and appreciate what we still have. Every time you lose someone, you think "I'm going to tell everyone I love how much they mean to me "but then you never do it. To me, I love how you bring in these nature themes. It looks at life and death in such a beautiful way, as if it's a cycle and something that we need to learn to accept instead of hold onto forever. I love the Italics that you used to. Overall, this poem was incredibly beautiful. I love the theme, I love the words you use, I love the formatting and everything. incredible work! Keep writing and I can't wait to read more.
Your friend,
Ellie
Thank you so much for the review Ellie <3