It all starts when I am alone,
my greatest enemy returns
that I have always known.
It's the pang of self-doubt ,
bringing my spirits down again.
These voices come from
It's a moment where my insecurities
are no longer a low hum.
I discover a whole new shade of
self inflicted doubts.
I lose opportunities
by fearing to attempt.
Am I enough?
I try to fight this voice back;
it is self-confidence that I lack.
Seeds of painful past dwell
within my dying heart.
Maybe its the overthinking I do.
Covering my thoughts
with negative space;
reaching into darkness
where the only light I see
are the ghosts of self-doubts.
I yell to escape from it
putting a smile across my face,
hiding the painful thoughts in silence.
Taking my mind to a different place
I remember those days of excellence,
when I fought this traitor with patience.
I feel the strength rising,
realising the warmth of light
creeping in through the cracks.
In my mind, I shout !
No, no, no,
we are not going down that road again.
I disrupt the thought pattern,
to stop that inner self-doubter
from taking over me again.