Dreams are a gateway to our past
portal to worlds beyond human grasp.
In slumber's embrace, we journey afar
to realms where spirits and memories are.
The departed ones, they return to us again
conjured by our mind, a fleeting space within.
Their presence is felt and their voices heard,
though in reality, their faces have blurred.
Cravings and longing from daily lives
are keys to portals when night arrives.
Time bends and twists, memories entwined,
as our minds create a world undefined.
In dreams, we find a moment's Solace,
as we embrace their heavenly presence.
Conversations are held and hearts renewed,
In dreams, the veil of death is subdued.
Feeling their vulnerable heartbeat again
we're reminded of our mistakes and the pain.
But the dawn breaks and dreams fade away,
Leaving us again with a bittersweet dismay.
But it's not the last time we'll meet, we know,
A new portal opens, as whispers of night grow.
Dawn will come again to make the spirit go away
we hold on to hope, for another rendezvous someday.
Their essence lingers, though dreams may wane,
In our hearts, their love will forever remain.
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139,517 Literary Works • 672,595 Reviews
Taken from my Napo23 thread
Hi Hkumar, Lullaby here to write a pretty simple review.
speaking to someone or perhaps to the dream itself.My critiques will be few and far in-between so be prepared for a lot of doting on this work! I really enjoyed reading this poem. While reading the poem, it has a natural cadence to how the rhythm of the lines go. One tip I love is “read your work out loud” and I can tell you did with this one because of how natural it rolled off the tongue.
This is just a clean written poem. The consistent rhyme, the 6 4-lined stanzas all wrapped up in a couplet, the lines being similar lengths, all of it. It was organized without the cheesy simplicity. It felt like a professionally written poem! There are a few commas missing in parts where I feel necessary to the flow and grammar, since this poem does use grammar.
While I enjoyed the word “Solace” being capitalized, part of me questions why it is. Is it a place? Is it such a strong feeling that it needs to be capitalized? Perhaps there doesn’t need to be a reason but I do wonder.
The meaning of the poem is something beautiful. The dreamlike enchantment of this poem perfectly touches on the feelings and emotions behind a dream and the act of dreaming itself. Especially at the end, with the daylight coming and the dreams being forced to end, those emotions transfer into reality, which is something that is relatable! The “we” starts to use the narrator as a character, especially in line
Overall, I know my review lacks lots of critiques or suggestions, but I really enjoyed this poem and now I want to read your other works! Keep writing
Thank you for the kind words <3
It's a good observation!Solace has been internationally capitalised to.emphasize that it's not just a mere feeling but that moment of comfort and consolation holds a lot of significance in the dream narrative. The peace a grieving person gets when they meet their loved ones in the dreams offers Solace that transcends the boundaries of the dream world, gently soothing the ache of loss in the waking hours
Wow, I wrote internationally instead of intentionally. YWS on mobile can be really frustrating.
Hiii hkumar! I love your avatar! It makes me happy ッ I hope you're hungry because I will be making quite the review🍩 I do-nut know if you've ever had this specialty before, but it is oh-so-good!
Let's get into the yumminess! For the sprinkles on our donut, let's look into what I love about this. The concept of dreams being a portal to the past and a connection to our loved ones is WOW. It had me in my feels. Speaking of emotions, you have written the longing for those gone and connections through dreams in such a great way. The rhyme, rhythm, and flow here is *Chef's Kiss*. There is a consistency throughout that makes my traditionalistic poetry self quite happy. I LOVE it when poetry has a musicality to it.
My favorite part:
For the "dough" or what could be improved, I'm drawing a blank. There is nothing here that I do not like. I find that the metaphors and imagery provide clarity. To some, they may find the vividness to be confusing or may want more clarity, but I do not. If I were to pull something that bothered me, it would be how several lines do not begin with capital letters. I realize that they are continuations of the previous line, but traditionally, each line of a poem is capitalized. This does not feel entirely necessary, yet the writer in me who appreciates these sorts of things finds it worth commenting.
Overall, this was a really cool connection. If dreams really were the portals you describe, it would be amazing. Wishing you well wherever you are in the world! With love, ╰┈➤A✎
Thank you
Based on a first read, this poem is very engaging and relatable, seeing as everyone dreams. Dreams come in all shapes and forms, from heart-wrenching, wholesome, and horrifying, and I feel this poem conveys that effectively with its word choice and strong emotional language.
It's short and sweet and knows how long it should be without trying to prolong certain sentences. The poem is very interesting and leaves me wanting to see more work like this, so keep it up Champ