Ignored

I relate to this more than anyone will ever realize. Like only one maybe two of my friends actually know what I'm talking about and can have intelligent conversations with me. On the internet it is so much easier to find people that understand me and know what's going through my mind. For example 'Tumblr' is full of people that understand me, reality confusion, not getting my never ending flow of references, and lots of back corners in quiet libraries. Again I relate to this so much, I love it.

Hey, glados!

Ok, it's one of those writings which I like soooo much, which kinda follow the rule, "less told, more heard"

No doubt, the theme is a good one. But I didn't really get how the title implied the theme. The title is "ignored". It seemed good to me for the first verse. But I thought it didn't really reflect the last verse. After all, the last verse is about the "only one not ignoring you"...or so I have thought.

You could have capitalized the words and uses punctuation. I would like a comma at the end of the second line of each verse.

This is all I would like to mention. Thank you for such an awesome poem.

Provocative I guess. Meta, even?

I've always felt it easier to run away on the internet.

I'd try more effective conversation techniques. They often involve risk and the internet often doesn't.

Tildas are fab.

Enjambent gives it a kind of strained feel, works to a point, would have liked to see it shift in the second half for contrast.

Interesting title, an often overlooked component on YWS.

Hey there! Gonna leave you with a review quickly.

So, the first thing that stuck out was the short and simple nature of this poem. When constructing poetry in this way, it can either make or break a poem. And with yours, it definitely worked for it! It's extremely relatable, and the last half, I found myself laughing at a bit. Not in a bad way, it just felt amusing, considering how real the statement was! It seems many people, including myself, who find a lack of social encounters of sorts, take full advantage of the Internet xD That's all I really have to say. I loved this poem, and I'll be sure to read more of your work! c:

Hello! Nice day, isn't it?

Let's jump right in.

In a few words, I found this weak, immature, and uninspired. Let's tackle each of these—primarily, I want to tackle the weakness, though, especially in the message.

The entire premise of this poem blames the speaker's friends for not holding a conversation with them. It's been done a thousand times before—yes, you can always take an old idea, like escapism from platonic neglect, and revive it—but I feel no sympathy or compassion for this speaker. When the blame is placed on others, the writer must show that it is deservedly placed on them, or else the reader is likely to assume that the speaker is biased.

This speaker is assuredly biased. Speaking as someone who has been in this kind of position, I know the signs of blaming others for your own loneliness or exclusion, and while some of this may be the fault of others, it's often your own fault, too. It's something I learned looking back at my own behavior now that I've grown past it, and I started recognizing that mindset as abusive. As a result of that, this poem has no positive effect on me—in fact, it makes me despise the speaker of the poem, because I despise that part of me that abused my friends so readily when I was younger.

Moving on!

As for the mechanics of this poem, I can't say I have a lot of good to offer here, either. The lines are too short and choppy; the stanzas seem awkwardly placed; and there is little to no flow whatsoever in this thing.

There are pauses all over the place because of your line breaks, and the line breaks feel like they were added in to make this poem look like it was longer than eighteen words. They don't serve a real purpose, as is made evident by the fact that they don't contribute to the message, flow, or style of the poem, unless "impossible to read" is now a style.

As a result of that, your flow is completely wrecked. If you intend to stick with this poem and edit it at all, I would suggest figuring out how to salvage that—flow, the way ideas and words move from one to the next, is one of the most important things in a poem in my honest opinion. Without it, you have words placed haphazardly around the page.

Honestly, like I said before, this poem didn't have much of an effect on me. What it did have was negative, because it feels too angsty, immature, and unaware of its own actions and surroundings to last as a piece. It evokes negative emotional reactions in me due to its abusive nature, and while it seems like you wanted to play it off like the internet is the speaker's true friend, all you did was let the reader know that the speaker doesn't want to invest time or effort into relationships.

If you don't invest time, effort, or communication into "real life" relationships, how will anyone online expect you to put that effort in there? To be honest, this poem makes me a little sad, if anything. Not for the speaker, but for their friends.

I hope you have a nice day! Keep writing!

Hey! Cello here!

This review will be short as the poem's only 18 words long.

First off, I'd like to say that I enjoyed the bitterness mixed with the comedy. It was a good balance and it was all written very well.

I might suggest changing 'can't keep' to 'can't even keep'. Keeping a conversation is one of the easiest things to do, and if your friends can't EVEN do that, then that's pretty bad.

This was really fun to read. I think the lack of punctuation and capitalization is great, it adds to the kind of 'self-sadness/pity' feeling so don't let anybody tell you other wise. (Nobody's said anything yet but I'm sure somebody will)

Keep up the good work!
-ChocolateCello

So relatable ^^ Thanks for sharing this with us!