Nothing is better
than a gentle autumn breeze
after a scorching summer blaze
~
The water shimmers at night
and the leaves are of beautiful
vibrant colors during the day
~
I wish upon the North star
with glistening eyes
and hopeful expression
~
That someday I will mean
something to you
that you will notice
~
That you mean everything
to me
and I would do anything
~
To make you smile
I would even sacrifice
these little things
~
The little things that
keep me sane
The little things like this
wonderful season
~
And I hope that you notice
I hope you would return the favor
I hope you love me as much
as I love you.
~❤︎~❤︎~
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140,143 Literary Works • 673,032 Reviews
It is such a lovely poem! It is really vivid, bright, clear, colorful (I apologize for the synonyms).
I read it out loud and it is so smooth. It very romantic,in my opinion. It is also descriptive, if you know what I mean. I congratulate you and I hope that you will persevere in your writing.
Good luck and keep writing!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
If you have any questions, just ask me.
Very truly yours,
fantasydragon01
Hello there xJupiter! CelticThunder1438 here to review some of your work!
First off I would like to say that I loved this poem, it rocked big time. I loved the way you described that feeling and I in my mind I envisioned the person on the roof of a house at midnight looking up at the stars. I do that all the time, yet I think of different things xD This poem was good, I liked how much the tittle fit the poem. Some people would tittle it 'Love' or something but that just made it like too much of a love poem. Which it is, but the hope made it different from all the rest....if you get my meaning. Not sure if you do....
The only problem I found in this poem was it didn't flow to well. Like there wasn't much rhythm or anything like that. I suggest you read through it and try and find different words like work in rhyming...just a suggestion. It is good how it is too =)
Anyways, that's all I have for you. Sorry its not more!
Seeya around!
~CelticThunder1438 a.k.a Selina or Seliter <3
Hey there!
I hope this is helpful!
It was enjoyable to read, a little romantic without getting all gross and mushy like a lot of romantic poetry gets... 
Its very smooth and everything just sorta "goes" if you know what I mean, without getting all twisty worded with rhymes! So thumbs up. Keep up the good work. 
Reviewing here!
So I dont get around to reading poetry much but when you read this in a poetic voice something here doesnt fit. Maybe Im reading it slightly wrong, (very possibly could me) but just go through it and see if you can tell if something doesnt go here!!! (Below)
To make you smile
I would even sacrifice
these little things
~
Personally I think it would flow much better if you took out the "even" I think it sorta throws things off by having it there! I see why you would want it in there, but you need to take things out that will throw the flow off course!
Ok so thats all the pointers I have.
I think you did a great job with it!
This is so romantic. Wow. You were missing a couple much needed commas and an "a", and the message is also pretty simple and straight out but I think the poem itself is very thoughtful. The first line had me going "Too true man..." and the last line had me blushing. I give this a Nice! XD