take some time
to realize
that your life
is better
than her's
~
so shut up
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139,280 Literary Works • 672,524 Reviews
I really love the poem! Nicely done
Thank you! I usually don't do such short poems.
Though I have a few things I would change about this poem, I did like it overall. It's a common annoyance to have people complaining about how bad their life is, when in reality, they're more fortunate than most. I would just make a few edits:
1.
You need an apostrophe in the word hers because it is her life.
2. I don't think you need the tilde in before the line last line. It would be better to replace it with a comma after the word her's.
3. Combining some lines would help it flow better. You could keep it the way you had it before as a choice in style, though. Still, it might be better as this:
Take a moment to realize,
that your life,
is better than hers,
so shut up
That's all that I have. I liked the poem's topic and voice. Good job!
Oops sorry computer gliched i did not mean to do that please do not tell on me
I think this is kind of mean. I think it is also harsh at the end. I think you should not say shut up. Instead you can put so be quiet instead. Also you can make it longer because it is really short and kind of choppy. It can also be more in detail like saying why your life is better or something like that.That is what I think of your poem
I think this is kind of mean. I think it is also harsh at the end. I think you should not say shut up. Instead you can put so be quiet instead. Also you can make it longer because it is really short and kind of choppy. It can also be more in detail like saying why your life is better or something like that.That is what I think of your poem
I think this is kind of mean. I think it is also harsh at the end. I think you should not say shut up. Instead you can put so be quiet instead. Also you can make it longer because it is really short and kind of choppy. It can also be more in detail like saying why your life is better or something like that.That is what I think of your poem
Alllllllrighty then.
I can usually take most reviews, but that is because they are constructive and make more sense. This, however, was all over the place and is not to be considered a review (at least, for me).
1) This poem is short because I want it to be, that is a personal preference if you do not appreciate short poems, that is not to be put in a review (at least mention that it's a personal preference).
2) Saying "shut up" is not too harsh in this case, the poem is supposed to be harsh (just like this review). But saying "be quiet" sounds extremely immature and is more of a casual 3rd grader thing.
3) It's not in detail because it's meant to be short and simple.
Thank you, but I think you should check out a few forum posts about how to review.
I'm not saying this to be mean, this just irked me a bit.
I am reporting you for being insulting to me I am new so sorry I didn't do it like everyone else I am trying to review to get points to write so bye!
I literally just said I wasn't trying to be rude. This is not insulting. Reviews are meant to be harsh but are so because of good reasons. I'm just recommending you check up on your review skills.
Yeah, Wam, GLaDOS was actually respectable. You just jumped the gun.