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Young Writers Society



Cortez Shivick(Chapter 3)

by ForeverYoung299


Life was going well. After his father's cruel demise, Cortez couldn't concentrate on anything, most of the time he remained outside the house because the house reminded him of his father. Gradually, with the help of his wife and friends, he had coped up. He had got the responsibility

of his father's legacy. Now, he had to attend meetings day and night, had to supervize the works of the company, has to sign deals– he had to work like a god! Shayene remained busy with her dresses, make-ups and all because that was the only thing she could remain with– Cortez barely had time to talk with her.

That was a sunday, the day in which Cortez could relax a bit and talk to Shayene. They were watching the news. Suddenly, there eyes widened. The news' headline says : A new case of the virus has been caught in our state. All are requested to wear masks.

“What virus is it, Shayene?” asked Cortez.

“I don't know. Yesterday, I heard about this. People are dying due to this.”

“Really! That's a very sad thing.”

Within a few days, the statistics of infected and death were increasing. There was no sign of decreasing. It was more than a nightmare to the businessmen of the world. All the countries suffered economically.

In Cortez's country, the whole population was in lockdown. All medium of transport were closed down. People had to order things online. Those who couldn't do that had to suffer. If anyone could be seen outside, the police flogged them literally.

The disease continued spreading for almost 10 months before a vaccine was tried and tested and proved effective against the virus. As most of the offices were closed down, the people bought only the essential products and prices were not one of them. The sale decreased considerably in Cortez's company because of the price of the products- they were too high.

Cortez took the towel instead of a handkerchief, he would have sprayed Shayene's perfume instead of his own and then regretted. Shayene decided to talk to Cortez about his depressions.

After a long and serious discussion, Cortez suggested, “We should decrease the prices or no one will buy our products.”

“But, by how much?” asked Shayene.

“Umm... 50%? I think this would really increase our chances in the market.”

“What do you mean by 50%?”

“50% of the manufacturing price.”

“Shut up! The company will shut down if you do so.”

“I am the owner. I will decide what to do.”

Shayene had no option but to agree.

The sale increased tremendously. The workers and the general population was quite contented with Cortez. Lakhs of messages of thanks and gratitude would come to his phone and he read all those line by line just after he woke up. That was the first task after opening his eyes in the morning. There were many posts congratulating him on the internet which became virals.

That day, Cortez was going towards his BMW car smelling his over-priced perfume when his manager came running towards him. “S-sir” the manager said looking paler than ever.

“What's wrong? I was going towards the company only.”

“Sir- sir- the workers”

“What workers? Tell me” shouted Cortez joining the pale look of the manager.

“Sir, I think they-they are going to strike.”

“What!”

“Yes, sir. Actually, they received nearly one-fourth of their payment for two months. I am afraid...”

They actually striked! The strike continued till Cortez payed them back by withdrawing most of the money from his bank account. Then, there was nothing left in the bank for the business. At last, the company closed down resulting in a downfall of Cortez's popularity.


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Thu Sep 09, 2021 7:28 pm
MailicedeNamedy wrote a review...



Hi Forever,

Mailice again here with a short review! :D

Wow. You've managed to get my full attention now that I've read the first three chapters. First we have a beautiful wedding, then the father dies and now there is a virus out there that is causing the economy to suffer and Cortez's company to suffer as well. His decision to lower prices should have been made a few months ago. But I'm not going to go straight into an economics lesson and explain why. :D What I liked very much was how you showed the contrast between Cortez, who puts more emphasis on the product and not the price, and Shayene, who puts the price above the product. I think you did a very good job of making the two characters so different and also to show that we had another timeskip here that lasted ten months.

One little problem that is still there is the spelling mistakes. I know everyone makes them, but just reading about them really helps to make the chapters look a bit more corrected.

I liked the chapter. It covered a lot of ground and I liked how you made those transitions. Definitely a little highlight in terms of the first three chapters. :D Keep it up! :D

Other points that my eye caught:

Life was going well. After his father's cruel demise, Cortez couldn't concentrate on anything, most of the time he remained outside the house because the house reminded him of his father.

This is quite an abrupt beginning after the tragedy we have experienced. On the one hand, I like this timeskip, but I also think you bypass showing Cortez's feelings again. I think you reflect it well indirectly, but there are no concrete hints.

has to sign deals

Had instead of has.

he had to work like a god!

I really like your description here! I suppose western deities don't really work and this is more in the Asian region where you see deities working on something.

The news' headline says : A new case of the virus has been caught in our state. All are requested to wear masks.

That sounds very familiar to me.

“Really! That's a very sad thing.”

A question mark would be more appropriate than an exclamation mark.

Have fun writing!

Mailice




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Tue Jun 01, 2021 10:33 am
Dossereana wrote a review...



Hi Dossereana here to do a real short review on this. Okay let's get started shell we.

Wow this sounds like its about Covid the virus that is still giving us trouble even to this day, and that's harsh. This virus is really bad for sure. It also sounds like Cortez isn't going to be so rich anymore.

“Yes, sir. Actually, they received nearly one-fourth of their payment for two months. I am afraid...”

They actually striked! The strike continued till Cortez payed them back by withdrawing most of the money from his bank account. Then, there was nothing left in the bank for the business. At last, the company closed down resulting in a downfall of Cortez's popularity.


Wow that's harsh, the company closed down, that's really bad, shame Cortez must be in such a state of panic right now. I mean his going to now be struggling with money problems as well as worrying about if there going to get the virus as well.

So that's it for this chapter I liked reading it. It seams like you put a lot of work into this chapter, keep writing it I'm getting even more drawn to the story as I keep reading it.

I hope you have a great day/night witch ever side of the world your on.

@Dossereana Flying Over The Green Room And Spreading Shards Of Encouragement






First of all, thank you so much for these reviews. I am telling about all the reviews in one chapter, it was a very good review. You pointed out the minute mistakes and I will surely look onto those. Thank you so much for these reviews.



Dossereana says...


Sure thing, I'm glad you liked them. :)



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Sun Mar 07, 2021 4:02 pm
MapleWay wrote a review...



Hey! MapleWay here with a review!

Life was going well. After his father's cruel demise, Cortez couldn't concentrate on anything, most of the time he remained outside the house because the house reminded him of his father.


This is very sad. Also, was the reason it reminded him of his father because he suffered so much there? Or did he buy the house for them?

The news' headline says : A new case of the virus has been caught in our state. All are requested to wear masks.


Is this supposed to be covid? Or is it some unknown virus?

“50% of the manufacturing price.”

“Shut up! The company will shut down if you do so.”

“I am the owner. I will decide what to do.”


This was a very bad decision on Cortez's part. A decision that he will regret for a long time.

Anyways nice third chapter! I liked it a lot! Also, could you maybe tag me in the next chapter? If not no problem!




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Sat Mar 06, 2021 4:21 pm
creaturefeature wrote a review...



'Ello!

“I am the owner. I will decide what to do.”


I'm starting to think this world is full of robots because people do not talk this monotone all the time, so my main focus again today is picking out the weird dialogue scenes or places where it gets a little too awkward.

“I don't know. Yesterday, I heard about this. People are dying due to this.”


Knowing that it is some sort of virus, of course people will die from it. (I'll also like some specificity when it comes to the virus: it seems like covid, but is it? It affects the lungs, but is there anything else?)

A new case of the virus has been caught in our state.


What country are they in? If they aren't in the US, there could be no states. I'd take a look at that some more when you get a chance to.

The strike continued till Cortez payed them back by withdrawing most of the money from his bank account.


This is a crime. Anyone "striking" is stealing money, so they should face criminal punishment. And what do you mean by his bank account? Did they find out his personal identification number to the account? That is highly unlikely.

At last, the company closed down resulting in a downfall of Cortez's popularity.


He didn't seem like a good company owner, so I say that's a good thing.

Good job!

lum






%u201C This is a crime. Anyone "striking" is stealing money, so they should face criminal punishment. And what do you mean by his bank account? Did they find out his personal identification number to the account? That is highly unlikely.%u201D

No no. How come strike means stealing money? And they didn't withdraw money. It was withdrawn by Cortez. I stated it.

Whatever, this was a great review. Thanks for it.
And Cortez is not a good owner.




Half the work that is done in this world is to make things appear what they are not.
— Elias Root Beadle