Later that day, Cortez did another blunder which was much worse than his earlier one and also irreversible.
"Listen to me, the people will understand that we cheated them." said Alvaro frowning who was trying his best to coax Cortez out of his ambitions.
"No, of course not. You don't understand. It will seem like a magic." replied Cortez who was immersed in the sea of his naive ambitions wondering his beautiful future.
"Ah! it's not at all practical" answered Alvaro with clenched jaws.
"Forget practicality. We are gonna shoot the video. If you don't, then don't expect a single dollar from the next week." said Cortez with an oily smile.
"Umm... I-I was telling it for your good only." answered Alvaro hesitantly as his face bloated up like a balloon. Looking down at his wallet sticking out of the pocket of his jeans, he wandered how he could ever live without the thin paper that lined his bank account with riches.
"Yes, that's a good answer my boy." said Cortez smiling proudly and getting ready for the shoot.
***
Two days later. The photos and videos that had been uploaded on the same day as the interview had been filled with millions and millions of dislikes and negative comments. Cortez was walking through the corridor and saw with watering eyes how the public reacted to his post scrolling through his phone.
The first comment which was left on 24th, the samne day as the interview said, "How can you be such a traitor? It's not possible! today morning, I went to see you in the interview and now you are in a foreign country? SIr, tell me the truth. The caption said it was shooted today only! Sir! answer us!"
The tears felt from Cortez's eyes as he saw it was left by one of his die-hard fans.
Another read, "What are these? one place each day? no, no. something is wrong" Cortez couldn't recall that he had seen that name earlier in the comment box which meant that it was left by a new visitor.
The third comment made Cortez fall on the floor. It said, "We are gonna report the police. Something is wrong. Quite sure about that.”
They didn't have to inform the police. They came to know what happened on their own account as the news of the fraud became viral. One disheartened police officer who earlier had been a blind fan of Cortez, himself filed a case against him.
The very first proof of Cortez's pseudo-travelling was that all the airports were checked but not a single record of his travelling in the past few years was found.
Many questions were raised– Initially, from where did he get the money? He got bankrupt–yes, he got bankrupt–was it too an acting? Is it really possible to travel to a different place each single day–probably not. Then, what was the case? All these questions triggered Cortez as it seemed to him that he was interrogated like a convict in a murder case.
Within a few hours, all became as clear as the water of the clearest lake of the world.
The police visited his house and that also after tracking his mobile phone because his location was unknown to everybody except the three figures. There, they caught him red-handed– he was trying to move the green screen behind the cupboard! This was followed by trials and finally, his account was banned putting almost a full stop to his dreams but that later turned to a semi colon.
The public were relieved to know that Cortez's account was banned besides being excruciated deeply. Although it was more than a nightmare to get their favourite influencer's account being banned but truth always triumphs.
“Alvaro, please help me!” said Cortez whom all thought might go into a mental trauma – his follower count decreasing from 200 million to 1k and still counting.
“How can I help? You did the blunder and now I too have to suffer for it! What the hell and now you are asking for my help! Sit and cry. By the way, don't forget to pay my money.” Rapped out Alvaro.
“I told you earlier. Dishonest works do not stay for long.” said Shayene, joining the conversation whilst dressing her hair with ribbons and bows. She was unremorseful of the scandal that had occurred- she had never cared for Cortez's business and she knew that he would get hurt in the end.
Cortez's eyebrows furrow and deep tears began to well in his eyes. Perhaps she was right– after all, he really didn't listen
End of chapter
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140,106 Literary Works • 673,014 Reviews
Hi Forever,
Mailice back with a short review!
With this chapter we really see the case of a man from the very top. I think you've done a good job with that and how his follower base has really reduced a lot. I think you showed again in this chapter that Cortez is a bit too egotistical and by now doesn't listen to anyone, neither his wife nor Alvaro, who both still know what a disaster it can be. I found especially the scene very strong where he almost threatened Alvaro and he had to ask himself what he was doing. It seemed to me that Alvaro had now more or less become a slave. Very good performance.
I found the way Cortez's case happened very exaggerated in parts, but I don't know anything about social media either, so I don't know if the police would really show up with such lies. But you showed it cleverly and in an extreme way what can happen when you back too high a horse. All this change in Cortez's character and his fear and sadness you really portrayed very well. Compared to your first story here, it's really great to see how you've created an interesting and diverse character.
One thing I noticed again in this chapter is that there were more typos, especially in the scenes where his descent is described. One can almost follow how you wrote this part in a rush to illustrate how quickly Cortez lost his followers. Again, the advice here is that as a writer you can stop time in your story and thus take your time to write something.
Otherwise, it was a great chapter. I really liked this change in his personality.
Some points I noticed while reading:
Your beginning here is very good and I like the idea of giving a brief hint before the dialogue that the whole ship is sinking.
There´s a “n” too much here.
First off, the Today morning would be better as “This morning” and secondly, the Sir has a capitalised i.
Have fun writing!
Mailice
I'm going to review 6 and 7 in this comment. I think the arc you have of paying consequences for lying on social media is good. If only those people would actually get their accounts suspended. My critique is that the police don't really investigate fake social media posts. It would work just as well in the story if he just lost followers because someone found him out. Aside from that, you have a few grammar errors. I'd put it through spell-check one more time. Good luck with the next chapter!
Thank you so much
Hey again!
I'm not feeling the usage of "bloated" because I don't think of the face area when I hear that word. I typically think somewhere around the stomach, so maybe try another word or another image that isn't balloon themed because it might partially be because of that.
People who call you "my boy" are either very proud fathers or creeps who like to bother children, so probably not the best to choose if you don't want your readers to be uncomfortable while following along with everything.
Feels like one of those Spongebob scenes where they cut into the future, and somehow they always make it work and not sound too in a rush.
Good place to end I think. It leaves some things to think about before the next chapter, and that's a nice way to make your readers expect something big. Hopefully something big will happen because oh I am so ready.
I also think it's true to the character. He acted like he was too proud and would only do things on his time, which is a terrible attitude, so he deserves having something bad affecting him in some kind of way.
Good job once again ~
lum
Thank you so much
Hey forever young, here for a review
He finally got caught ! I missed a few chapters so I'm not sure if he deserves it, but from the way he treats those who work for him, he deserves it at 200%
There's a lot of foreshadowing in your text, like in
"Listen to me, the people will understand that we cheated them." said Alvaro frowning who was trying his best to coax Cortez out of his ambitions."
"Later that day, Cortez did another blunder which was much worse than his earlier one and also irreversible."
"Cortez who was immersed in the sea of his naive ambitions wondering his beautiful future. " and so many other stuff, although I'll not recite everything here.
From the few chapters I've read before this one, I can see a tremendous growth of his character, well not yet growth, more like this is the incident that will lead to him to grow as a character. I hope you actually have him fleshed out more through this incident, as he's probably the character with the most promise in your story.
Thanks for the great read <3
Thank you so much for the review. Glad that you liked it and as of me, he deserves it
Hey! MapleWay here with a quick review!
He finally got caught. I can't say didn't expect it though. In a way, I feel bad for Cortez, but in the same way, I feel he deserves it. I wanted to really quickly mention what a great job you have done developing his character. I can't wait to learn even more about him! Anyways, onto the review.
Great start! It does a great job hinting at what is going to happen. I only wish Cortez would've listened.
Wow. He has relied on popularity for so long that he feels that he might de without it. He is definitely addicted to popurity.
Anyways great chapter! Sorry, the review was a little short! Also could you please tag me in the next chapter?
Thank you so much for the review. And yes, I will tag you
Thanks!