After the whole fiasco with the travelling-fraud, there had been an argument between Shayene and her father regarding Cortez. Her father would talk to her only about setting up the divorce paper with Cortez. This left Shayene is an atrabilious state.
"Please help me Shayene. Don't do this. You are the only one left in my life. Please Shayene." Cortez pleaded with inner corners of the eyebrows raised.
"What can I do? I told you not to do na?" Shayene answered normally, readying the lunch.
"Oh please! Don't talk about old incidences now."
"Well. I have an idea for you!"
"Idea!" Cortez sprung out of the chair, "What idea! tell me."
Shayene wasn't a bit shocked by this.
"You can be an actor or a comedian." She said mindlessly without paying any attention towards Cortez.
Cortez sat down. "Acting?" he asked melancholy, "I can't act"
"Don't lie. I have read that you were a class clown." She replied, this time tuning to Cortez.
"Yes, I was!" he answered back reminiscing of those glorious days when all students would bunk classes only to see his comedy shows.
"Then? Don't discourage yourself. You can" she said gazing at him thinking how self sabotaging a person can be. She continued, "Also, that would bring you fame." - the only way he would be convinced.
Cortez's eyes widened. "Fame? Yes, yes! Fame! I-I am leaving now only. Bye" He told grabbing his jacket. He left before Shayene had time to call him for the lunch.
He decided to visit all the possible places where he could get an audition. The people in the first place, which was the most popular television industry reacted as if he was invisible to them. Still, he persisted. In the second place, which was not a very reputed place, the people took his interview in a very mannered and polite way. however, it was followed by a relentless digust which was followed by a relentless insult which left Cortez in utter disgust.
All these were enough for such a person to loose hope and eventually to be back home with a gloomy look
End of chapter
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140,106 Literary Works • 673,014 Reviews
Hi Forever,
Mailice back with another short review!
I see this chapter more as a continuation of the last chapter because it is so short and is related to the aftermath that has already started there.
I liked that we finally saw Shayene again here, and was also full of expectation after the first section that we would see more of her and her father. Since last time Cortez lost his company because of the pandemic and he already thought Shayene should leave him, I would have been very interested in his opinion here, especially since he is also a businessman and Cortez is no longer in that category.
I liked that Shayene called him a class clown and that this came a bit out of nowhere, I found strange but also great and convincingly inserted, so as not to give a kind of foreshadowing at the very beginning of the story.
The chapter was quite short, but I thought that the amount of information we got gave us a good overview of how Cortez has changed. His moods and emotions change as quickly as the weather. What was striking was how the pace of the story picked up towards the end and how that changed from before. It shows a bit of a flurry of activity that has now given Cortez motivation and hope to continue.
Again; some spelling mistakes and line setting errors or these are completely non-existent. Since this is the only thing I notice in the last chapters, I think it looks like you are making a lot of progress. And I must honestly say that I like the story very much so far.
Some points I noticed while reading:
That's great that we'll hear more from Shayene here, as she wasn't as present in the last chapter, although she did set up the cliffhanger for chapter 6. Of course, it also shows that Cortez was left completely alone with his craving for attention. Nice little detail!
I don´t know what this “na” means.
One question mark and a capitalised t please.
This made me really laugh.
Here you show really well how it also looks in the real world when someone looks like nothing more than an influencer.
Have fun writing!
Mailice
Hey! MapleWay here with a quick review!
This was a nice installment of your story! I feel it was a little short compared to your other chapters and was a tad bit rushed. Otherwise, it was very good! I thought it was interesting that from everything he has been through Cortez is still persisting on to get famous. If I'm being honest I feel he should just try to get any job he can before he runs out of time.
Anyways great chapter! Can't wait for the next! Also, could you tag me once more?
Thank you so much for the review and I will tag you.
Thanks!
I like where this is going! Cortez's chase after fame gives me an idea of how this will end. I like the Shayene is still supportive, even though Cortez is doomed to fail again. She's a good wife. Aside from some grammar errors, my critique is that you could explore how Cortez's rejections feel a little more. You say he was insulted, disgusted, and gloomy, but you could go further than just "this was X". Try "this felt like X". It's a show, don't tell situation.
Thank you so much